This reminds me a LITTLE of April Fools Day..only a little though

Author's Response: Is that a movie? =3= I feel so under a rock.

Hmmm... I'm still confused. Did the guy at the end, the one with the money, actually get killed?

Author's Response: You mean the money that was never in the house in the first place? THe assassin? Yes. End notes are helpful, aren't they?rnrnAnd it's not a guy, but if that's what you want then yay! I never *actually* specified what gender person it was :D that's half teh fun! rnrnAnswer: Yes. He/She/it/they were/was hung.

I hate not reviewing when I have fully formed opinions about something, so... I will. You're a writer with potential, and I don't want to see it go completely to waste.

This is the second shot I've read by you, another decently constructed plot but I found it once again, just a little too impersonal. I'd like to begin with addressing your audience. (I'd like to note I write this almost entirely from a reader's point of view, not from an author's. I'm by no means an all knowing author (far from great), I only want to share my thoughts as part of an audience who looks to read stories that interest me.) I notice now you have a very particular style, one that is not common on this site. (Which is fair, by no means is individuality a bad thing; I personally cannot swallow a lot of the carbon copies I come across) I like that you bring variety, however I think here in this story particularly, you drifted into foreign characterisations, not easily relatable to the readers here. I think if you could learn to fuse your ideas with deeper insights on the TH member's characters, more people would take an interest. In this particular story I found it much too dialogue heavy, imagery minimal and characters two dimensional. The pieces were there, I was thinking there's a chance for suspense, there was a knife and money and it was all a bit classic but something timeless that someone can really sink their teeth into.
I know General category stories are painful to advertise on a site with a population (male or female, though let us not kid ourselves) that mainly feeds off stories revolving around relationship drama or stories that incorporate romantic relations that involve one or more of the TH members, but that's the reality of fandom. (Not complaining) Not to say General shouldn't be written (I'm an advocate of variety, choice, creativity - absolutely, General is an equal player in the writing world, just far less recognised), but if you are going to go there and take that challenge, you need to replace that romantic aspect with something a reader in the fandom can relate to, seeing as this isn't open fiction but inspired fiction with one single, loose (hurray), but important theme (that is the TH members). So in this case, in this story I would have like to see more allusions to Tokio Hotel, more of Bill's character, Tom's, ect, more insight on their thoughts, a situation more unique to them. I don't think writing from an OC's point of view was necessarily a bad thing in this story, but again, perhaps to suit an audience here you may want to consider getting into head of one of the members. That, combined with imagery could take this to the next level, I believe. Perhaps a bit more polish on the climax too. I would like to point out I liked the way you ended it, and how the final paragraph was written.

Maybe grabbing at a beta reader would help, seek out someone who can relate to your way of thinking and ideas for a story. Like I said, you're anything but a bad writer, I just think you're slightly out there and while that's not a bad thing you need to address potential readers with something they can relate to as well. Keep up the good work and don't ever get discouraged. =)