Penname: Estricnina [Contact]
Real name: Das süße Mäuschen >:3
Member Since: 03/14/10
Membership status: Member

Updated April o9, 2o12

I sacrifice a lurker reader to the Finger-Cramp God weekly. Don't let it be you - click kindly, review.

April 9th, 2o12~

I've been on THF for over two years now, wow. I have honestly put a lot of effort into my stories, and in this past year where I was much less active I put a lot of effort in my attempts to continue.

Between work and chaotic excuse for a life I really have found it difficult, as much as I love writing. My health has also taken a pretty bad turn, as it has been heading in that direction for a couple of years now, and I need to focus on my treatments and my life goals of school and career.

Thank you for the sharing and the reviews, and the laughter other authors have brought to me. I still cherish the stories I've had the pleasure of reading. I'll always have this odd little secret in me, knowing that of all places, among Tokio Hotel fans there are some of the most engaging and talented authors I've met/read material of. I never experienced such a range of emotions in the way I have experienced them from some of my favourites here on THF. The irony.

I have been a Tokio Hotel fan since my teen years, sometimes proud of it, sometimes not. It's been over 5 now, and it's really weird that as an 'adult' (I use the term loosely), watching and listening to videos and songs from their first two albums, and even a couple from their third still give me butterflies and happy thoughts. Even though I want to continue being a fan, I know this status has been threatened over the last year and some, but these last two months have been even worse. I suppose I'll save all the whys for a blog rant or whatnot, ha, point is, my motivation is weak because I dream of the past. When they no longer inspire me, how can I write? (Hell knows I've tried, and tried.)

I don't have high hopes for the new album coming out soon (so they say), but I will try it, and try and be objective as possible. When that time comes, I can't say I'll be listening as much of a fan. Chances are I'll dislike it, but who knows? I'm a music critic, and they have a lot to make up for.

Anyways, enough of that. If I by miracle finish any one of my stories, I'll be sure to post. I won't be working on anything though, not as a priority for sure. I fell in love with the German boys and their simple approach to life and music, and I want to leave now and retain as much of that wonderful memory as I can so that I can return to it with a smile when I'm sad.

Much love, to all I've encountered on THF. Thank you! I'll be sure to return and read some old favourites when I need to smile.

- Me

PS. Contact me on LFM if you'd like! Lots of other new artists (German ones too of course) to talk about and get excited for! Winwinwinwinwin.

PPS. I felt nauseous writing this. Sorry it's 3:30am and I just heard the FEM collab, be easy on me. *pats own back for comfort*


Bold are completed fictions.
Italicised are fictions on hiatus (not abandoned).
•Bulleted• are Plot Bunnies that have matured into Plot Rabbits with solid outlines.
Greyed out fics... are abandoned.

Update 111102; The stories I have the ability to and may possible update are: Only have notes and doc files for Cynosure, and Esochoco (though the latter has been discontinued), as well as the notes for once upcoming projects City of Serendipity, Tunnel Vision, Tight Pants Society and Gustatory. I have notes for Wish, but not its doc file, so I'll consider my options, and play with the idea of re-writing chapters I haven't posted all over again. That should give you an idea of what I can and can't continue. I may or may not do to other fics what I have done with Sleep Paralysis: that is, literally write forward from the last place I left off on THF. It's a gamble. I'll sit on it. It turns out my laptop is far more screwed up than its monitor, which really puts a knot in my knickers. >: There's no telling when I'll get my files back now, so, now you know what I'm up against.

» 14. (NC17) - #Chapter 4 -Under Consideration for Immediate Continuation-

» Berlin, Anonymous (R) - #Chapter 16 [COMPLETE] :: 100904 Featured b29;
*1110 Nominated for 4th THF awards; 'Best Characterisations' Category
*Currently being translated into Vietnamese.

» Cynosure (R-NC17) - #Chapter 1 -Under Consideration for Immediate Continuation-

» Ghosts in Retrospect (R) - #Chapter 1, Priority, In progress

» Guileless Charade (R) - #Chapter 1 [COMPLETE]

» Mémoires du Titanic (R-NC17) - #Chapter 1 (Status pending: I've lost HF!? o.o)

» Of Esoteric Affairs & Belgian Chocolate (NC17) - #Chapter 8, Discontinued.

» Pyromania (NC17) - #Chapter 2 [COMPLETE]

» Simply Sweet Sunday (PG) - #Chapter 3 of 3 [COMPLETE]

» Sleep Paralysis (R) - #Chapter 4 of 4 posted [COMPLETE]

» Superman (PG-13) - Chapter #2 [COMPLETE]
*0910 Nominated for Sechslings Awards; 'So Fucking Beautiful' Category
*Currently being translated into Vietnamese.

» The Church of Hot Addiction (NC17) - #Chapter 3, I... will do something about this weird shit. -Hiatus-

» You're Automatic (PG-13) - Chapter #2 [COMPLETE]

» We Have The Afternoon (NC17) - Chapter #1 [COMPLETE]

» Wish (PG-13) - Chapter #2, -Under Consideration for Immediate Continuation-

Updates coming soon: Ghosts in Retrospect, City of Serendipity

Chapter-fics unless stated otherwise.

Hunting for Witches :Drama, Suspense, Angst, Twins:
City of Serendipity; Sequel to 'Berlin, Anonymous' :Drama, Angst, Romance, TWC-NR:
Gustatory :A Gustav Oneshot, Humour, Possible Twins:
The Tight Pants Society (We Are Golden) :Drama, Musical, TWC-NR:
Tunnel Vision :Valentine's Day oneshot, Angst, Romance, Songfic, Twins:
• Title TBA :Femmeslash, Oneshot, PWP, TWC-NR:
BEAST :Songfic, Oneshot, PWP, TWC-NR:
• Title TBA :Oneshot, Humour, Twins:


Yes, omfg, I have plot ideas coming out my nyan cat rainbow shooter. I have trouble sticking to one story at a time because of (my very real) ADD, so, I apologise if I'm all over the place. I don't mean to be, I really don't. D:

If I'm too slow (which happens a lot, my life is very unstable, I'm never in one place for too long, I'm afraid) and you feel the need to harrass me until I update, do so here:

>> Lore's Formspring [Click]

This is only used for THF, just as a way of getting ahold of me should the situation arise. =0 You're also more than welcome to slap me around via Lastfm (in the case you're a music Nazi too), the only real place on the internet I tend to lurk around in present day. My profile on LFM is linked below at the bottom of the page.

I'm not a very good writer yet, but if you have tips or ideas/suggestions for anything I write, don't be afraid! I come off dramatic, but I appreciate any and every comment or criticism I receive.



I'm actually quite confident in my looks, this somehow just seems more fitting.
It's how I feel when I nap before going to the gym.

Um... *starts singing horribly* I'm just a kid, and my life is a nightmare~ I'm just a kid and I know that it's not fair! ~~ I dunno, I listened to that song when I was like 12. It still makes sense today. :s God I'm so fxing emo, lol.

I turned twenty over the summer, but I don't think anyone knew about that. I live a very unstable life, but no, I'm not addicted to Meth or something. @__@ Forced nomad, which explains my continuous hiatuses over the year. (Iz I runnin' from teh law?) Umm~ Oh while I listen to more music than you and your grandma, I try not to get attached to bands/groups for their personalities because I'm always let down. TH is/was the only non-Asian group to break that rule (at least the first half *sniff) and the only one I still have a hard time letting go of even after five+ years, even though my fangirly days are long, long over. I'm attached more to these boys than I'd like to admit. Having a tendency to be attracted to, for the most part, women kinda makes my odd interest in the four of them a bit awkward, but I insist it's not what happens between girls and their Taylor Lautner posters. They're just cool guys, amirite? Oh right, there's this problem, you know... where I, after much scepticism over the years, have been convinced the twins are if not fucking, totally wishing they were. I know you see it too. Wuts incests? Don't know what you're talkin' bout mate.

So, I has no problems with reading teh smutz at all :D, but when I has to write about penis, I needs the alcohols first. D:

I automatically think, when I read about what people hate in fics, that I've done those things and it is my fault they hate it. >: hickshicks~ I'm sorry. ;___;

Things to Know About My Writing...

○○○ I don't like using gender-specific adjectives or titles. I sometimes might do so by accident, after all, it's been engrained into my head the same as everyone else, but overall, I like to use waiter for both men and women, actor, steward, etc. I will almost always, without fail, use brunette and blonde for either gender.

○○○ If you're not Canadian, and wonder for our language habits, it's easy to understand things this way: view Canada as a child under shared custody of Great Britain and the USA; GB being our mother, USA our father. Our language favours British grammar and a great deal of vocabulary (being a British colony) but American tonality and sometimes, American vocabulary as well (being heavily influenced by our neighbour). Canadians are very split in terms of English principals, and it all depends on location and the individual, as where they were taught in the country really has an impact. I (gladly) write under British principals, as that is not only how I was taught, but is now what I deem most appropriate. My vocabulary tends to shift around a bit, but it's probably more reminiscent of British-English than American-English too I think. I didn't really notice it until I began reading on THF, because even almost all the books I read are written by British authors, eheheh. Canada needs to make up its mind in regards to English, I think. Seriously, you can have shop signs on the same street utilising the same words but with different spellings. >__O

○○○ I am all about feeling and detail. Too much about it. My strength is description, and yes, as most of you know, I have a weird, expansive vocabulary. It's not always good. I get idle, and sometimes I spend so much time on imagery, I forget there is such thing as plot. It's a weakness. I will work on it.

○○○ I write everything like I'm writing a novel. I take my time, and I'm very serious about it. I realised long ago that language and form in fanfiction is taken much more loosely, and easily varied, and fanfics can be as simple as a silly situation and a few funny lines of dialogue but as much as I wish I could find it in me to do that, I cannot. In a chaptered fic, if it isn't specifically integral to the plot, then my two strangers destined to fall in love will not be fucking by the first, second, or even third chapter. This probably shaves off my potential readers by half, but I cannot possibly make that sacrifice. T__T I am sorry. I appreciate language and prose too much, I guess.

○○○ I try not to be, but I'm really, really sensitive and kind of super paranoid and self-concious about my writing too. I'm only admitting this openly because I haven't slept in 23 hours, and am feeling honest. I take most things personally, like say, 1500:2 view-review ratios. It hurts a lot less if you tell me what you don't like about it. Though, I know that when my story is favourited a billion times, people do like it, but think it's fun to insult me by not reviewing. It can seriously make me grumpy and sad all day, since I spend hours and days, sometimes weeks on a single written piece at a time. Be gentle, but not dishonest with me, and I'll be puddin' in your hands.

Things I hate, am scared of or don't get:

-> Bushido.
-> The letters in Bushido's name.
-> Bushido anywhere near Tokio Hotel.
-> Pairings outside the four TH members. Weird.
-> Het. (Anything explicit really, bordering Heterophobe.) Nah, I just don't like Het because it's boring on the usual, sometimes it may squick me but the main issue is usually when I have an OTP to be reckoned with. (HMMM, what could that be?) When will people see... that het is so very uncool.
-> Excessive use of emo/scene girls (especially self-cam shots) on banners. It's so abundant, WHY!? Het fics all tend to be about four lucky girls meeting the band... *facepalm*
-> Mpreg. I don't think I need to explain thoroughly on this one. Fucked up? O__o Butt babies are far too much nonsense for my liking. xD Absolutely outlandish.
-> Bill topping, like what? It's not so much Tom bottoming that's an issue as it is ...Bill topping anyone is hard to wrap my head around I think, which leads me to...
-> Bill and girls (generally speaking). The universe just doesn't work like that. (Or my mind doesn't, whichever makes more sense, though I vote for the former.) Just come out, please Billie. *whale face*
-> Abuse of exclamation points in the narration. Greek gods, it drives me mad in the worst ways.
-> Abused High School settings. Recycled plots basically.
-> People who don't review! I review whenever I can, it's the good thing to do. Whether you love it or want to help someone improve, because I know first-hand, it takes lots of effort to put your work out there.
-> Better yet; Authors who don't review. Don't even bother asking for feedback if you don't make a habit of doing so yourself. *shakes head* Total nonsense, I swear.
-> D fucking squared. No longer allowed in mai countree. D:<
-> Bushido's mom.

Things I like or am closet about:

-> Bill is borderline girly, and all I know is, he's girlier than me. Jus' saying. ('Cause I like it, but that's expected? Haha~ o.o;) So...
-> Don't care what others say, I like (depending on just how exaggerated) girly!Bill. I've watched enough TH material to believe Bill is to some extent, quite effiminate in that weird chic-gay way. No he's not a girl, and when he's written as such that's a bit... but girly on some levels, suits me fine. :D Makes for teh funniez. Although, I don't mind dark!Bill, and seeing a slightly masculine side of him either. I'm flexible. (Like I hope he is >.> Ha! I mean :x)
-> Cute and FLUFFY. I'm not a fluff person in reality, it's a closet pleasure in movies, books (or fanfiction) and relationships, honestly. I only get mushy when I'm... not in my right mind, if you fancy that?
-> Bill and Tom. Tom and Bill. Twins in general. Twins always seem to be cute and these two are like the kings of all cute twins that I don't mind going like rabbits despite society. Twins. Ah.
-> I enjoy keeping them in a German setting, unless integral to the plot, and I don't see the fascination with making them American. Am I missing something?
-> Stuff that makes me cry, with a happy ending anyway. (I only cry when it's like super dramatic, verge-of-death) and then it's happy, and I'm like WHOA. That's good stuff. Haha~ I enjoy emotionally charged stories!
-> Lap-sex. >.> *cough* Nothing more said.
-> Dreadlocks. Anyone in dreads, dreads have become some sort of fetish or sum'mit. Sub-concious attachment 'cause I can't get them myself. >:
-> Oddly, Andreas. I didn't even know who he was (still don't really, /really/) until I read some fictions, but everyone seems to make him this crazy funny flamboyant character which he probably even isn't, so by default I have grown attached to him.
-> Samy Deluxe? omo? O___O ~~!
-> Solid writing. It's a broad claim, but it's hard to expand without sounding bitchy and snobby. Don't be two dimensional please, it's all I ask. Think/proofread/review before you post! D:
-> Protective!Tomi, Princess!Bill, Fluffy!TH~ chu~ :3
-> Gustav in thick-rimmed glasses. Yum. GIVE GUSTI SOME LOVE! *cuddles* I tend to favour him in fics by accident. He was my first~~ what can I say. * wiggles brows*
-> Georg in his general Georgness; everyone makes him to be a hero, and in reality, I can believe he's a little bit of a superman of sorts. b29;

That kid was a TH flamer and Bushido Shipper. =0

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