Wow... This is love. I don't even know what to say.

I would absolutely love to see a sequel for this, should you feel inclined to write one.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you! :D

Tom has no heart. He's absolutely disgusting. I hope Bill never forgives him, and that's a lot coming from me, because I would normally hope for the exact opposite.

I cannot imagine a happy ending to this fic that involves them ending up together. I think it would be a great injustice to Bill if they did.

Author's Response: The ending for this fic hit me yesterday with all it\'s awesome power, and I can\'t wait to see everyone\'s reaction to the ending ;D

I feel bad for Bill... I know it feels good for him and all, but they're taking advantage of him and he's exhausted. And somehow I can see this leading to interesting places, what with Tom showing up and all...

Looking forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: I feel bad for Bill too occasionally. Even though Bushido makes him feel really good, he doesn\'t really like the man too much, and its creepy that everyone watches him. New update soon! XD

So sad... Poor Bill. Poor Andi!

I'm curious to see how you're going to work this out.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! New update soon! XD

Well, at least Bill can move now... I feel so bad for him, though, and I don't like Tom much at all.

“How many men have you fucked? How many priests, and fathers, and brothers? Only the gods know!” Tom spat. “You are nothing but a tool.”

Bill’s lips began to tremble, and he shot Tom the most hateful look he had ever sent the boy. “You say that like I don’t already know.”
Ouch. Poor Bill.

Author's Response: We\'ll get to learn some more about Bill\'s past in the upcoming chapters. New update soon :D

Oh, no... Poor Bill. (I say that a lot in regards to this fic, don't I?)

I very much dislike Tom, though. I have a feeling it's going to be very, very difficult to like him at all, after this.

Author's Response: I was thinking of changing Bill\'s name from Bill to Poor Bill. I feel bad that he has to take all of my wickedness in this story. Thanks for the review! New update soon!!! XD

I already reviewed this chapter, but I finally realized what it is that I've been wanting to say about your writing style from the beginning, so I'm reviewing again before I forget.

You have an excellent sense of rhythm. A lot of amateur writers (not that I claim to be a professional or anything) think that rhythm is only important in poetry, but it is actually vital to a really good piece of prose. Your words flow into each other very easily in general, and I think that's why I didn't realize what exactly I was noticing right away.

However, your sense of rhythm - while a good thing - is throwing off your word choice. I feel like you're adding words to smooth out the way it reads (whether consciously or subconsciously), and you're often choosing words that are redundant. I'll just put a few examples from this chapter here to be sure I'm explaining it fully.

"Yet still" - In context, these words mean essentially the same thing. When read without considering the actual meaning, they add a nice cadence to the sentence, but when meaning is taken into account, there's no need to use both. I'd suggest finding another word or two with the same feel but less redundancy.

"Nakedly exposed" - Again, they sound wonderful until you consider that to be exposed has the same connotation (at least in this context) as being naked.

"Hurt and pain" - Is not being hurt the same as feeling pain? If you mean emotional hurt, I'd suggest specifying that here (maybe using "humiliation" instead of "hurt"). Otherwise, try to find another word with different meaning or just use one of the two.

If you start to choose your words more carefully in all respects, not just in consideration of the rhythm and redundancy, I think you'll find that your writing gains an eloquence and a richness that it doesn't currently have. That's not to say it isn't good now - it is, definitely - but everyone has room for improvement.

A couple of things that caught my attention that are not related to the rhythm/redundancy issue:
I find it hard to believe that Tom dented a shield by kicking it. If he can do that, a sword or other weapon would have no problem getting through said shield to hurt the one behind it. While Tom was trained by a god, he is not a god himself, so that kind of strength seems unbelievable.
Also, fires don't tend to light up the daytime sky, at least not significantly, no matter how poetic that sounds. They normally just make it turn gray with smoke.

This turned out longer than I'd intended it to be... I hope you aren't offended or discouraged by anything I've said. You are not a bad writer - and after all, even the best writers have editors for a reason.

I look forward to the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks for the grammatical review! I’m not offended by anything—I actually find this very helpful! I recently bought some English grammar books because according to my teachers, I apparently suck at grammar. I always thought that “yet” is the same as “but/however”, and I was trying to say, “but still… or however, still…” It’s kind of confusing though, because as you said, “yet” also means “still”. In my humble opinion, this word has too many meanings ;D I didn’t notice that I was saying things like “hurt and pain” together, but I’ll try to work on finding new words to use so that I don’t end up sounding repetitive. I do want to sound more fluid in my writing, so that everything flows without problems and there’s no really big mistakes. Becoming more eloquent would also be nice, because I’ve been told before that some of the things I say aren’t colloquial or that they sound slightly odd. I also want to improve my vocabulary, because I feel like I always use the same words to describe things, and my writing sounds too simple. Haha, now that you mention it, it would be rather implausible for Tom to dent a shield, especially because the armaments the ancient Roman/Greek soldiers used to carry were typically very heavy metals (some were over 30 lbs). And I think I was just trying to be overly poetic when I wrote about the fire. I should change “lit up” to “blazed across”, which I hope sounds better and more accurate. Thanks for all the grammar tips, and I’ll be sure to work on them!!! :D

Ah... That doesn't sound good.

Author's Response: Tisk Tisk... not good at all :/

If that doesn't reach whatever heart Tom possesses, nothing will. As for the end justifying the means, well... I've never been a fan of that particular philosophy. I do hope you'll convince me otherwise in this respect.

Author's Response: I\'ve never really been a fan of that philosophy either, but trust me-- in this fic, the ends truly justify the means in mindblowing ways! New update tonight :D

Yeah, I noticed the foreshadowing... Particularly Bill collapsing without prophesizing. Most of them did stick out. Actually, I'm kinda surprised Andreas didn't realize earlier (since he knows now that Bill never gave the last prophecy, I'm assuming he knew earlier, too, though I'm a little fuzzy on exactly when he realized the temple was under attack).

Author's Response: I love foreshadowing. Andreas realised the temple was under attack as he was making his way up the cellar stairs with the incense. He saw the fighting and returned down under the temple to try and figure out how he could get Bill and himself out of there without being seen. He stayed awake as long as he could down there, but when he finally fell asleep, Gusti stumbled across him. :D