Awww! SO ADOWABLE & PWESHUS!

First story? It was a little rough, not going to lie. The time jump was a little sudden and I wasn't sure it they were famous or not (I didn't chech to see if it was an AU fic or not so it's not your fault).

The story was a good idea (over used but very little on this site isn't so again, not a problem) but it didn't flow well.

You did a lot of telling, particularly on Bill's part but not a lot of showing. I know it's hard to develop the character in such a short fic, and it's obvious you tried, but it was hard, for me at least to get in their heads.

I'm not sure how to articulate my problems w/ this. The dialogue at the beginning kinda bothered me. It was... Unrealistic? Mmmm... IDK, something that kinda bugged me.

On the other had I did like what caused Bill to tell Tom in the first place, and how that part was written.

Don't worry, your not a terrible writer, you just need work. Beta's help (or so I've been told but lots of people, as you can see I don't write, I just review - mostly b/c I feel like I'd just be repeating everyone else and b/c I can't finish anythng). Some are better than others. The trick is to find the good ones. I'm not totally sure about this but check and see if some of your favorite authors beta. They might be able to help you.

Keep writing. If you like it there's no reason to stop. After all, you can only get better w/ practice.