this was a good story!
i hope u do a sequel to this

I loved it!

He had two people that would turn their backs on him.
He had two people thta 'wouldn't' turn their backs on him. :-D

Fantastic. Just fantastic =)

I wish I had checked the clock while reading, because I'm pretty sure I've spent something like three whole hours reading this, taking a break two or three times, because my eyes needed it, lol.

It's going to take long because I'm trying to review 15 chapters all together, and there's so much to say and I hope I'll make sense, and not that I'll just be babbling over random scenes.

Well first things first, I've been looking for a fiction like this one for ages; of course I did find some, but I don't think that dealing with depression and suicidal tendencies s as easy as one may think. It's a bit of a struggle in fact, in my *modest* opinion, because it's never easy to portait, since the story will mainly revolve around feelings.

I think that there are basically two ways to portrait these feelings: one, just by writing touching, long, convincing descriptions of how a character is feeling inside, which, I know, will turn out boring after some time; secondly, - the best way to avoid those endless descriptions -, is to let the characters express themselves, meaning that dialogues will have a certain importance during the story. What I mean is, I'm just saying "Bill was depressed," doesn't seem enough to me, the story itself has to be convincing, and the finest writers use scenes rather than words to communicate.

Which is why I think that the opening could've been worked in a different and more efficacious way. The way Tom's past was just described, so swiftly after all...I'm not saying it was bad; what I exactly mean is that, maybe, just maybe, I personally would have felt a little closer to Tom if he had said those things himself during a session with Dr. Russel. And I don't think that you needed to be so detailed too. Most of the things in the beginning didn't turn out so relevant in fact, and keeping them from the readers would have made Tom a more interesting character probably.

There's just another thing I'd like to point out, these are two quotes from chapter one:
"“The room would have made sanest person go insane.”
...and then, the following paragraph says:
“Even with the room being so small and being alone, he didn’t mind.”
Now I wonder why he doesn't go insane, or at least mad. Tom seems to take it all a little lightly in the beginning. That's just...weird. First the room seems too bad, and then Tom is described as...past caring?
Even in chapter three, you openly say that Tom thinks of this situation as something fun; how could it possibly be? If anything, I would have expected him to be...worried, or, most likely (considering it's Tom we're talking about), mad, insane, angry. That would have been an incredibly seductive character.

Then there's something else. At some point in chapter one, it is stated: "Tom could read anyone like a book. Get them summed up in a matter of minutes, but this boy was so much more confusing."
Okay, leaving out how confusing Bill was, I gathered that Tom spent most of his life alone, since he didn't have many friends, and his home life was practically nonexistent, then I wonder: how could Tom possibly have gathered enough experience about people to be able to read them like books? Just wondering.

In all honesty, I started enjoying myself, really enjoying myself, during the chapter number two, more precisely during Tom's session with Dr. Russel, because there was a scene with a very interesting dialogue and I think you did a good job with that woman; the scene was convincing and I just couldn't resist, I can't not love it, even if it could've been longer. In chap. 2 Tom becomes a more convincing character too, probably because the readers see him speak, and that's a proper good way to get to know him better. :)
Oh, just a quick quote from the second chapter:
"He didn’t think he needed antidepressants, what he thought he needed was to get out of this place and find someone that wouldn’t be lying when they said ‘I love you’." - Please don't ask me why I was so blown away as I read that, I just know it had my heart beat faster and faster. Touching.

Oh, I proper lolled at a specific point:
"“Um, okay...” Tom pushed away from the table a little, suddenly afraid for his dick." Hahahaha, brilliant!
Speaking of that scene; I really, really, really liked the way you described Gustav and Georg's relationship. I admit it has never been one of my favourite pairings, but I think you got me to love this one. It's just incredibly cute. This love story would deserve a side story all to itself, it's enough to make a whole good fanfiction.

To be honest, I'm still very confused about Bill. He's undoubtedly a nice, very nice character, don't worry, generally speaking I mean. There are some things about that bewilder me though.
First of all, he's a cutter, yeah? Now, I don't claim to be an expert, but shouldn't he be...um, I don't know, shier? Timid? Timorous? I know that in some paragraphs he has been, but...
"Bill nodded. “I plan on talking to you again, Tom.” Bill winked, turned for his room, swaying his hips the entire way back." - Um. I don't think that an insecure cutter would hit on a boy so openly, especially not swaying his hips, since maybe he'd feel ashamed of his body. That's just a personal idea of mine, of course. I don't really mind that you made things go they way you did.
Still, there are other points. Like: then again, he's a cutter. Why is he so talkative? To me, he seems rather confident in himself, well, still too much to be a cutter. Then again, I'm no expert, so.
The third thing is something I'm not sure of myself, when he tries suicide I mean.
I swear...there's no scene in this story that hooked me up like that one. I had my lips all dried up. Though I don't think that one that tries suicide would be smiling. In that moment, Bill is thinking that everybody will be happy after he's gone, then why does he smile? Then again, I already told you I'm confused; he actually CAN smile, that makes him sound a little insane, but the fact that he's really smiling does add up, after all. Just ignore me about that.

Ahhh don't ask me why, probably I was expecting to read some more scenes with Bill and a razor, even if that makes me cruel and insensible. But anyways, the scene where Bill attempts at suicide was good, so it surely was enough. :)

There's something about David that leaves me taken aback a little. Couldn't he have been a little more present in the story, considering that his only presence would drive Bill nervous? This is for two reasons; one, is that David Jost is incredibly sexy, and two, in chapter 11, Bill has a word with him again, but David just walks away before Tom stops by. How about having written the whole scene, including some healthy dialogue between the two of them? To me it would have worked extremely well, because it would have made Bill look all the more helpless and - consequently - Tom all the more protective. That's just a little thing, of course.

Now, I hate it when I happen to write so many thins like those, because they make me sound like I didn't like the story I'm reviewing. It's not like that, I did, did enjoy it...from chapter four on, I completely fell in love with it. Those things I pointed out, they're only small things that confused me a little, and them being there or not, it doesn't change the way the fic got to me.

The plot was excellent in my eyes, and it was well fluent. It was a very nice idea.

Probably it could've been more...serious, since I guess that's how it was meant to be, but it's young people we're talking about, so I guess that fluffy moments made sense.

There were two things I particularly liked.
One is Bill and Tom's story. The development didn't feel rushed at all (for which I should thank you, I can't stand rushed love stories), and it was very nice to read. Plus, they met in that hospital and their relationship was born and grew in there; that means they shared a unique experience together, so I bet that when they got out of there, their love had become inevitably strong(er). Which makes those two very believable, :)
The second thing is the progress they made, and how they helped each other. Their struggle to get out of a bad life, I guess that this teaches us all a golden lesson; with somebody sincere by your side, you can make it. Other than my fucked up morals, I surely liked how they turned out healthy and helpful for each other, like I said. But even if they had been alone in their struggling, it would have been a good point for the story. I liked how it all revolved basically around that point, good job, really.

One thing for which I should beat myself up is that I didn't read it little by little. Oh well. I'm so glad I read, :)
I think that as an author, you really are good, and your ideas must be very original, though I can't exactly tell since I read only one story.
Thanks for sharing. :)

Awh, this is a gorgeous story!
All I can say is that a few of the lines in the first and second chapter didn't really make sense O__o But other than that, I really like it :)

Aww sweet sweet sweet and pefectly written, I love it :D

It's more than good enough, it's perfect

Oh god I was so scared when Bill got the blade out! I'm glad Tom was there, more than glad. I loved it :)

Oh my god I really wasn't expecting that! Oh no, I don't know what to say. I absolutely loved this chapter but I hated to see the results for Bill :(