Date: 07/30/10 01:47 pm Title: Chapter 6
AWWWW, i just love this story!! it so sweet, please upload soon again :)
Author's Response: awwww<3 thank u soo much =]
Date: 07/30/10 06:04 am Title: Chapter 5
awwwww, so sweet!!! UPLOAD AGAIN SOON, I LOVE THIS STORY!!
Author's Response: thank you very muchhhhhhhhh for this review it makes me wanna upload now lol but the jext chappie should be up sometime today! <333
Date: 07/29/10 09:47 pm Title: Chapter 2
Alright I read it all and was a bit uneasy about reviewing. :
Your story has a beautiful plot, I FACKING LOVE TOM WITH CHILDREN MY GAWD, and I love how Bill is in this helping out with Aric! :D [how would you say that?]
But hunny, your grammar is such a turn off.
Please capitalize the "I", capitalize "Daddy" since it's being used as a proper noun in this when being referred to as Tom, you made spelling mistakes and you're not your. Please get a beta reader or beta it yourself. if you like, I can beta read it for you :) The grammar is terrible, no offense, but it's completely icky! DX Your story has potential and it's incredibly adorable, but those little mistakes makes people not want to review. :( And your chapters are a bit too short. :P But that doesn't really matter...]
Even though Tom is a bit abusive toward his son, I think it's another approach on parent!KaulitzTwin.. and I admire it. :3 Though, you need to work this up better and build more character around the story. You need by far more adjectives, descriptive words and less dialogue. I'm not seeing Bill doing much, get him more involved. Your dialogue choice is funny but eh...]
In all I'd love to continue reading, and I will - but please taking consideration in improving your writings and taking the time to make it art. ;)
Author's Response: well thanks for the review... i guess? hmm uhm im sorry about my grammar ... well although i've become pretty good at speaking it english isn't my first language but im working on it thanks for the advice really i appreciate it but ... maybe you could be a little nicer with your words? ..but i understand what you are trying to say i'll work on it thanks for reviewing =]
Date: 07/29/10 08:48 pm Title: Chapter 4
Funny thing is that I can see Tom with Kids but not Bill lol oh well lol.......Toms kid is to cute : ]
Author's Response: haha yea same here .. and ik aric such a little cutie =] thanks for the review hun it means alot <3
Date: 07/29/10 01:54 am Title: Chapter 3
I love it! Can't wait for the next chapter.
Author's Response: thank u ! =] i'll update when i can hopefully soon <333
Date: 07/25/10 04:08 am Title: Chapter 3
I loved it twinny. It's sooo cute. Can't wait for more *huggles*
Author's Response: hehehe thanks <3333
Date: 07/24/10 02:03 am Title: Chapter 2
It was amazing twinny. I loves it. I can't wait for more. =] *huggles*
Author's Response: hehehe thank u twinny =] im gald you loves i fixed it up jus for u ! hehe<3
Date: 07/23/10 05:40 pm Title: Chapter 2
More!:D
Author's Response: haha ill be sure to get started on it this weeekend ! thanks for the review hun =]