Okay this was a very nice story! The idea was great, but there was a few things that bothered me. The dialogue was quite awkward and I found it hard to follow the story. Some things were explained in such way, that it didn't really make much sense. You should really ask for someone who is great at speaking/writing in English to beta read your stories, since there were a few very weird choice of words, for example the word "sensible" means something that has a lot of sense and I think the word you were looking for was "sizable". Since it's the word that means "quite large". Also remember the tenses, it's very important to know when to use "had" instead of "has" or "have". This is where a beta reader comes in handy! I myself have quite bit of difficulties to remember them, so it's a very common mistake. Also don't censor the swear words, swearing is not forbidden on this site :) I hope I don't sound too bitchy, I'm just trying to give proper feedback. The idea is great here and it totally works, you just need more practice! And the whole Tom was in love with Bill before he even knew him is a bit too Disney for a story for adults. But the sex scene was really great! ;) I liked it. Just keep writing and get yourself a beta and you'll get better! This is a promising start! I hope you don't get offended by this review or decide to stop writing, since you should seriously just keep going! Rome wasn't build in a day! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review, it is always important for a writer to get a feedback on the stories. It's great that you liked it, even if some things bothered you during the reading...I actually do have an English beta, who checks on spelling and grammar mistakes, as for other things, such as plot or word choice, -- I think it's just a matter of writing style and reader's taste...Thank you for your honest review, though, I really appreciate it!