Date: 10/03/09 07:50 pm Title: Soulmates
This is so sweet. It made me smile. (: I love how you explained them revealing their feelings for one another. Lots of people write it weird and they go through it too fast. But you did it just right. :D Good work.
Date: 04/14/09 03:34 pm Title: Soulmates
Hallo!
I found some minor mechanical errors, but they may just be typos. There are some comma problems: splices, missing commas, etc.
“He didn’t know why his heart hurt, it wasn’t because of a heart attack, he knew that, it felt as if a piece was missing.” That sentence should probably be something like… “He didn’t know why his heart hurt; he knew that it wasn’t because of a heart attack. It felt as if a piece was missing.” Nothing major.
Very nice otherwise! I liked the idea of the twin’s seperation causing physical pain. Very simple descriptions, but it was all effective in the end. I liked it!
-BRE
Date: 04/14/09 01:01 pm Title: Soulmates
Awwwww that was so touching. made me cry a little
Date: 04/13/09 08:33 pm Title: Soulmates
it was short but very awesome! :D