Date: 05/15/26 08:08 pm Title: Curious Night
Uhm Michael Jackson isn’t a pedophile, also spelled wrongly above btw. And Tom is written like a boring and weak jerk and also like a ALWAYS grumpy old man, not something that fits Tom at all, even if you’re doing it for character development he should still have a bit more different sides to him. And it bothers me that the Gs are sup villains too. And spray painting words like that what are they 12 here? It also bothers me that Tom describes his lust for Bills “sister” so high it was more overpowering than his appetite for food but he has yet to have a thought about how EXTREMELY beautiful Bill is which is super clear and should be a thought he has even if he’s still negatively inclined about him.. I’m sorry if I’m very negative now but I had higher hopes reading the comments.. I’m sure it’ll get better:)
Date: 05/15/26 08:08 pm Title: Fair and Unfair
Yeah so again, are they 12? Because 18 year olds don’t bully people with words like these lol. And Tom in most storys have no problem taking a swing at people and it’s also his character in real life so that you paint him as SUCH a coward bothers me, at least he followed Bill..
Date: 05/15/26 08:08 pm Title: Winds of Change
Oh wow boohoo he was ONCE questioned to be a fag not even punched meanwhile and now it’s such a big trauma for him? When he got popular immediately after that? Yeah well if he IS a closeted gay (doesn’t seam like it with what you’ve written with so many girls and his lust after Bills “sister”) well bi then or more like Billsexual as always, hehe no but then I get that it was scary for him but not to the point you’re writing it to be :P and also it’s just overly dramatized but I guess many likes that. For me it has to have more depth and intelligence intertwined to it though. And more nuance. Either way I’m gonna keep reading and sorry if I’m offending you..
Date: 05/15/26 08:08 pm Title: Winds of Change
I liked the ending part though, it was cute
Date: 05/15/26 08:08 pm Title: Feel This
Tom is 18 you said, so NOT underage in Germany actually :)
Date: 05/15/26 08:08 pm Title: Feel This
Bill was his delicate angel was a cute line. What you wrote towards the end however “he didn’t know where the lines of friendship was and how to cross it” seams like Tom consciously wants Bill in an intimate way and wants to cross over from friendship to more but that doesn’t seam to be the case otherwise right now - yet? I don’t know some things you write are very contradictory just so you know.. and also I hope they will get intimate soon since the story seams to be over soon
Date: 05/15/26 08:08 pm Title: Bend and Break
This was pretty beautiful.. I wish Tom would have said that none of it WAS Bills fault though cause it wasn’t, and the fire was a clear mistake, and he was very young, but they are still very young and Tom isn’t the best at communicating surely, or obviously, but it’s also funny how Tom hasn’t seen before Bills gaze and the kiss that he’s very attracted to Bill and has been before that moment, but maybe that was subconscious to him before. I’m glad they kissed and I hope they proceed quickly with the intimacy now, and that if georg is ever mean again to Bill that Tom has the strength to punch Georg down, and also that they won’t have to separate by the end of this fic
Date: 05/15/26 08:08 pm Title: Fools of Follies
Uhm okeeyy so predictable and just YAWN, how weak is Tom I mean lol lol lol and yuck. If he could pummel the mayor to the ground he could surely hit the daylights of Georgs body too. And if he was brave enough to be so close to Bill amongst other people and even at first when the Gs made their appearance here then he should be brave enough to shrug some words off and hit Georg in the face, and what was all that world shattering notions and realizations earlier for Tom if they blew away like the wind so easily again LOL :b also if Tom has known for so long that he likes boys he should have known even earlier that he’s very attracted to Bill, and when he saw Melissa or what’s her names face when he first came to their house he shouldn’t have instantly and constantly for that first night have felt raging LUST? Also unprovoked of any onlookers that care about his reputation or sexuality that he needs to prove himself as straight and so on. Ayyyy whatever. This is also very PG13 so far, and the flashback kiss between Andy and Tom has been more action then we’ve seen between the twins and it’s almost over this story so one could atleast hope for some more kissing atleast before the story ends I guess
Date: 05/15/26 08:08 pm Title: Fools of Follies
Also why would he LIKE to see Bill after betraying him like that? :P and also their grandmother is at the store so why isn’t she intervening when there’s loud bullies like that? Or anyone else for that matter. Anyway Imma stop with the critique it’s pointless I guess xD
Date: 05/15/26 08:08 pm Title: Long Way to Run
Uhm and now you’re first transforming Alice into a heartless witch towards Tom and not letting Jorg hear it or Tom tell what she said and also not Tom be honest and ask or say that he feels like Jorg doesn’t love him and also let’s Tom leave Bill completely, yeah okey. Good job :P
Date: 05/15/26 08:08 pm Title: Where the Heart Is
Uhm I know Tom is lovestruck but why on EARTH would he miss ALICE when they haven’t had ONE connection moment and she said absolutely HORRIBLE absolutely EVIL things to him before he left that would make anyone hate her and absolutely would make this Tom HATE her :b
Date: 05/15/26 08:07 pm Title: Rise of the Fallen
Uhm yeah so no love making, booooooo… or even said “first time” in the category’s, they shared two tiny kisses lol, and that wasn’t a first time cause Tom had a kiss previously too, so lies ;) But it was a bit cute but they should most DEFINITELY have made love in the lavender field under the stars or in the rain as a finish, then it would have redeemed it all and have been a perfect ending.
Date: 05/15/26 08:03 pm Title: Rise of the Fallen
Uhm yeah so no love making, booooooo… or even said “first time” in the category’s, they shared two tiny kisses lol, and that wasn’t a first time cause Tom had a kiss previously too, so lies ;) But it was a bit cute but they should most DEFINITELY have made love in the lavender field under the stars or in the rain as a finish, then it would have redeemed it all and have been a perfect ending.
Date: 05/15/26 07:43 pm Title: Where the Heart Is
Uhm okey so next chapter is the last one so there will be no intimacy then, got it.
Date: 05/15/26 07:35 pm Title: Where the Heart Is
Uhm I know Tom is lovestruck but why on EARTH would he miss ALICE when they haven’t had ONE connection moment and she said absolutely HORRIBLE absolutely EVIL things to him before he left that would make anyone hate her and absolutely would make this Tom HATE her :b
Date: 05/15/26 07:35 pm Title: Where the Heart Is
Uhm I know Tom is lovestruck but why on EARTH would he miss ALICE when they haven’t had ONE connection moment and she said absolutely HORRIBLE absolutely EVIL things to him before he left that would make anyone hate her and absolutely would make this Tom HATE her :b
Date: 05/15/26 07:10 pm Title: Long Way to Run
Uhm and now you’re first transforming Alice into a heartless witch towards Tom and not letting Jorg hear it or Tom tell what she said and also not Tom be honest and ask or say that he feels like Jorg doesn’t love him and also let’s Tom leave Bill completely, yeah okey. Good job :P
Date: 05/15/26 06:58 pm Title: Fools of Follies
Also why would he LIKE to see Bill after betraying him like that? :P and also their grandmother is at the store so why isn’t she intervening when there’s loud bullies like that? Or anyone else for that matter. Anyway Imma stop with the critique it’s pointless I guess xD
Date: 05/15/26 06:56 pm Title: Fools of Follies
Uhm okeeyy so predictable and just YAWN, how weak is Tom I mean lol lol lol and yuck. If he could pummel the mayor to the ground he could surely hit the daylights of Georgs body too. And if he was brave enough to be so close to Bill amongst other people and even at first when the Gs made their appearance here then he should be brave enough to shrug some words off and hit Georg in the face, and what was all that world shattering notions and realizations earlier for Tom if they blew away like the wind so easily again LOL :b also if Tom has known for so long that he likes boys he should have known even earlier that he’s very attracted to Bill, and when he saw Melissa or what’s her names face when he first came to their house he shouldn’t have instantly and constantly for that first night have felt raging LUST? Also unprovoked of any onlookers that care about his reputation or sexuality that he needs to prove himself as straight and so on. Ayyyy whatever. This is also very PG13 so far, and the flashback kiss between Andy and Tom has been more action then we’ve seen between the twins and it’s almost over this story so one could atleast hope for some more kissing atleast before the story ends I guess
Date: 05/15/26 06:26 pm Title: Bend and Break
This was pretty beautiful.. I wish Tom would have said that none of it WAS Bills fault though cause it wasn’t, and the fire was a clear mistake, and he was very young, but they are still very young and Tom isn’t the best at communicating surely, or obviously, but it’s also funny how Tom hasn’t seen before Bills gaze and the kiss that he’s very attracted to Bill and has been before that moment, but maybe that was subconscious to him before. I’m glad they kissed and I hope they proceed quickly with the intimacy now, and that if georg is ever mean again to Bill that Tom has the strength to punch Georg down, and also that they won’t have to separate by the end of this fic