Date: 06/08/09 07:46 pm Title: Photograph
Yea italics!!! :) omg!! Simone!!! What is happening? Her boys are kissing!!! tree-thing lol :)
Some guy gave me a weird look as I passed him and another guy winked. Some random girl waved (maybe I knew her?).
you slipped into first person for just that sentence :) lol I do that all the time :)
He heard and snap and he turned and glared at Georg. Georg shrugged.
Mwahaha! I loved that part :) it was just so nice and light hearted :) "he heard a snap" lol, not 'and' :) you like to use 'and' a lot :) maybe try to shorten sentences more? hehehe, idk :) gosh, so waiting to see how this all plays out. I'm so scared their secret is going to come out, or Simone is going to say something to get the seperated, or something and it is SO scary :) her reaction seemed dead on :)
Author's Response: I love your reviews. They make me smile. I know. I got the italics thing down! Yay! And... the first person thing - crap! I'm sorry. I bet that was hell as confusing to read. :S God. My grammar and stuff is SO bad. Maybe it's even worse this time because cause i wrote it in a night... IDK. I'm sorry. :S Anyway... the bit about Georg made me laugh to read over. Simone's reaction seemed right? IDK... :S Thanks for your review. I might update quicker just so i get another long review from you...
Date: 06/02/09 05:03 am Title: Dad
ooh, big developement!! big revelation! Great chapter, even if it is short. i can't wait for more!
Author's Response: well, the next chapter will be longer; promise. at least 2500 words i hope... yeah... thats not alot is it? lmao. anyway - i cant wait to write more! thank you for reading it. *smiles*
Date: 06/01/09 08:21 pm Title: Dad
Oh wow...I don't know what to say. That was good.
Author's Response: you dont know what to say? well... damn... this is awkward then cause me neither... except thank you like soooo much for liking it. *smiles*
Date: 05/31/09 10:26 pm Title: Dad
plz update sooon thx
Author's Response: ill try. *smiles*
Date: 05/31/09 09:18 pm Title: Dad
Hehehehe, Simmy...lol the girls are obsessed with Bill, but Bill is obsessed with TOMI :) yes, it was a little short lol :)
oh I think I know what you're doing wrong with the italics maybe < that is the little carrot thingy you're suppose to have :) if it showed up...lol, you're doing [ at least I think that is what's happening :)
Author's Response: lmao. it was short, yah. but i planned ahead so... things get short. Sorry! hopefully the next chapter will be longer *smiles*. And i'll try those carrot things next italic time and hope they work. yano. technical stuff isnt my thing.
Date: 05/21/09 11:02 pm Title: Burn
OMG!!!!! that answered any questions either had!!!!
Author's Response: yay... :)
Date: 05/21/09 10:49 pm Title: Burn
hehehe, well I can't say I don't like it :) I do like this, and I don't think you need to worry about people liking it or not, if you're having fun writing it, then that's all that matters, the plus is having other people say they like it to, and sort of enjoy the adventure your creating with you :) lol, if that makes any sense :) It is an interesting story, and from the first few chapters I've noticed some improvement in writing :)
I'm waiting to see if the press is going to come out and do something horrible, or if something is going to make Tom so angry he spill's Bill secrets :) lol, so excited to see what happens :) there were some spelling and grammer issues here and there, nothing that took away from the story, but it might be good to check them over more :)
For the italics, maybe someone already answered this, but it is the pointy parathese things ( except pointy, and between two of them there is an i so imagine these pointy (i) that goes in front of the word you want italicized, or the whole chunk of writing, then when you don't want italics anymore you have (/i) lol :) hopefully your gonna keep sharing your story :)
Author's Response: Wow. This is the like... longest review ever. And. I like reviews, so you can totally imagine how !yay! i was at reading this. I'm glad you like it - that's a plus, yup. Agreed. Its interesting? - thats another plus. My writing improved - seriously. you're really kind. As for the spelling and grammar - I suck at those things. I'm totally awful at that stuff. But, yah. I'll totally read it over like loads and loads of times now. The italic thing? No way - i tried that and it didn't show up on the preview, so i guessed it didn't work. Urgh. I totally hate all this technical stuff... (well, its not even that technical, is it?). Anyway. Thank you like SO much for your huge and awesome review.
Date: 05/21/09 10:19 pm Title: Burn
oh snap! what do they do after that?!
Author's Response: *thinks* i dont know. *smiles*
Date: 05/17/09 05:43 pm Title: Harlot
haha That ending was totally great. I think it's cool how Bill is already so protective over Tom and really wants him. I wonder if they are ever gonna find out that they are twins?! Also pretty please update as soon as you can, I'm excited for more :)
Author's Response: your review really made me smile. lmao. as for the twin thing... i really cant decide when and how. there are more and more ideas popping into my head every time i start to write again. i'll update as soon as possible, but ive got my other story as well and a HUGE bio exam wednesday. :P
Date: 05/17/09 12:57 pm Title: Harlot
i loved it!!! i cant wait to see tom's reaction. :P
Author's Response: lmao! *smiles*
Date: 05/17/09 09:38 am Title: Harlot
I really really like this. It's not just good for a first fanfiction, it's good period. =)
Author's Response: im glad you like it. im glad you think its good. so... thanks. :)
Date: 05/17/09 04:27 am Title: Harlot
I wonder what'll happen when they realize they are twins? Hmm
I Love the part when they argued at the very end and bill kissed him
Author's Response: i've got like ... 2 possible ways that twin thing could go. i have no idea which i like best. same with the end of this chapter. kiss in the hotel? kiss in the club? i picked the right one, you think?
Date: 05/17/09 02:34 am Title: Harlot
WOAH!
this storie is amazing! im loving the idea of Bill being famous n tomi an alcoholic! wow, u just remind me my days back then, or a night back then D:
gosh, keep this up will ya? :D
Author's Response: you're well nice! thank you! and... keep this up? i cant stop. :S
Date: 05/17/09 01:26 am Title: Harlot
plzplz update soooon thx=]=]
Author's Response: update soon - promise. :)
Date: 05/17/09 12:29 am Title: Friends
I feel sorry for Bill, I bet that kid Jack raped him all the time. I think it's cool how Bill and Tom met though and them staying together like that
Author's Response: poor Bill, right? and as for jack kid (first name that came to mind) well... wait and see. :)
Date: 05/17/09 12:00 am Title: Call Me
wow, that's really cool how they just had like that instant link. I really think twins have that link of knowing too. I like your story a lot
Author's Response: yup yup. i think twins have that link too. *smiles*
Date: 05/16/09 11:57 pm Title: Harlot
OH SHIT I LOVED IT!!! what happens next?!
Author's Response: what happens next? *looks away* i dont know. *smiles*
Date: 05/16/09 11:16 pm Title: Listen
I don't think it was boring lol you're pretty self critical. Anyways I think it's sorta funny how Tom just popped off with Bill like that and loved Simone's reaction. I think it's gonna be real interesting when Bill and Tom discover one another.
Author's Response: thank you for reviewing. self-critical? me? no. well i dont mean to be. *smiles*
Date: 05/16/09 11:01 pm Title: America
haha mini lakes on the street. Anyways I like your story, even the emo-ness Bill had still makes for a good story. Reading your story is giving me a nice break from writing my own, thanks so much :)
Author's Response: im glad its giving you a "nice break" thats cool. and. you're right. Bill's emo-ness in a bottle (wtf?). thank you for reviewing *smiles*
Date: 05/16/09 10:40 pm Title: Germany
Well even if other people don't like it, I like it a lot. I think it's a very good story, has a good plot behind it too I think! :)
Author's Response: ahh... the plot. it wasn't even meant to end up this way. so yah... plot. *smiles* thank you.