Date: 10/10/09 06:12 pm Title: Chapter 14 - Hanna's House - Edmonton, Alberta
YES yes yes!! a sequel!!!! PLEASEEEEEEEE LOVED IT!!!
Date: 10/10/09 04:41 pm Title: Chapter 14 - Hanna's House - Edmonton, Alberta
awww i loved this story it was rly good. i hope there is a sequel rly rly soon
Date: 10/03/09 01:09 am Title: Chapter 13 - Airport - Edmonton, Alberta
I just read this whole story in 5 hours! I love it! Please continue, I want them to get married ;D
Date: 09/27/09 07:14 pm Title: Chapter 13 - Airport - Edmonton, Alberta
That sucks that they had to leave. It seriously does, I really feel for her.
What you might want to do, and I'm not sure I've said this before, is describe feelings. Use descriptive lanuguage - so how the words sound and what feeling that sound creates; alliteration, sibiliance, assonance, plosive and lulling sounds, and descriptive tools - similes, metaphors, personification and the five senses. And just use them to really show how she feels, how her world is falling apart or everything is falling into place, and draw us into her world.
Anyway, update soon and get the boys back!!
Date: 09/26/09 11:40 pm Title: Chapter 13 - Airport - Edmonton, Alberta
i cried while reading this....
*sniffle*
damn Paige to hell for keeping Jami away from the guys!!!
*sniff* *sniff*
I'm sad... ='(
Date: 09/26/09 03:19 pm Title: Chapter 13 - Airport - Edmonton, Alberta
awwh. ^_^ update soon. xD
Date: 09/23/09 09:23 pm Title: Chapter 12 - Water Park - Edmonton, Alberta
awwwwww...sad
*sniff*
they're gonna leave...boo
=(
great chapter though!
Date: 09/23/09 01:14 pm Title: Chapter 12 - Water Park - Edmonton, Alberta
This is great!
cant wait for more! :)
Date: 09/19/09 09:15 pm Title: Chapter 11 - Bowling Alley - Edmonton, Alberta
i am totally loving this!!
woohoo!!
*does a jig*
=D
Date: 09/18/09 12:16 am Title: Chapter 11 - Bowling Alley - Edmonton, Alberta
Wow
i just read the whole story in like an hour *_*
i can definatly tell myself that i LOVE this story! :)
Date: 09/13/09 01:31 pm Title: Chapter 10 - Paint Ball Center - Edmonton, Alberta
I was really confused until I found this! This is so much better than your old one, and I really like it.
Again, I would suggest more description, i.e. personification, metaphors, similes and personification. Especially including things like colours. They just help bring things to life, God I feel like I write that a lot.
Anyway, I hope you update soon!!
Date: 09/05/09 05:12 pm Title: Chapter 10 - Paint Ball Center - Edmonton, Alberta
Love it! Post more!
Date: 06/25/09 12:08 am Title: Chapter 10 - Paint Ball Center - Edmonton, Alberta
ok.. i reiew ... i want another .. NOW!
Date: 06/20/09 01:56 am Title: Chapter 10 - Paint Ball Center - Edmonton, Alberta
OMG OMG OMfuckinG !!!!
This is AMAZING !!
hurry !!
HURRY !
i might go insane !!
Date: 06/02/09 03:26 pm Title: Chapter 10 - Paint Ball Center - Edmonton, Alberta
I hope something happens so she can stay with the guys for ever!!! I hope Paige let's her stay with Bill and Tom!!! I love this fan fic!!!
Date: 04/20/09 08:44 am Title: Chapter 10 - Paint Ball Center - Edmonton, Alberta
ahww :D more please
Date: 04/19/09 10:36 pm Title: Chapter 10 - Paint Ball Center - Edmonton, Alberta
Scheisse kim Scheisse not schiesse lol :) love u xx
Author's Response: lmfao shut upppp. that was a typo, i swear .rn
love you toooo :)
Date: 04/19/09 03:06 pm Title: Chapter 1 - Airport - Germany
Wicked :) i love this story :) Ima go print it out now :) bye Betch :) ily
Date: 04/19/09 03:00 pm Title: Chapter 10 - Paint Ball Center - Edmonton, Alberta
I can see the next morning with Bill coming in a freaking out about the way Jami is laying all over Tom and thinking something happened. Really all that happened was Jami rolling around. That would be so funny. Then Bill gets all overprotective of Jami around Tom and huffy with his brother. I could see that happening next. That would be funny. Good job so far.
Date: 04/09/09 07:55 pm Title: Chapter 9 - Tour Bus - Victoria, Canada
OMG i love this story i was like crying in this chapter its so sad but Great story you should write more..