Date: 09/08/18 03:27 pm Title: Chapter 1
this was a good story!
you should do a sequel to this
Date: 09/26/12 03:24 pm Title: Chapter 1
interesting o3o and awesome ending x'D
Date: 12/04/10 11:00 am Title: Chapter 1
That last sentence had me just about peeing myself. This was such a good story. I enjoyed the whole thing. Imagining Tom and Bill wearing thongs just about made me choke on my tongue.
Author's Response: lol that was the intended effect! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for reviewing!
Date: 04/17/09 02:24 am Title: Chapter 1
he exploded, every atom of his body chasing across the universe in a different direction – spectacular description!
His head felt like a bell being shaken too hard. – Very nice description!
He had no gender preference when he was drunk, and sometimes that made him wonder about his heterosexuality when he was sober. - *snorts*
"You forgot last night again? Pity. Never mind, I'll explain it later. Eat." – there’s a lot of implication in this sentence.
Tom always thought of Bill's smiles as electricity. They tingled, crackled, zapped, and energized most people who saw them. – nice!
"I don't know, Tom. Stop obsessing over that already. I have," – this happens a lot…and Bill you’re such a dick you’re not worrying about who you slept with. *eye roll*
The detail of their conversation are good, and their dialogue is also good.
"Why do you care so much? Who you slept with has NEVER been such an issue."
Tom shook his head. "I want to do last night again. I don't normally. But these women must have been amazing, because I remember little parts of it, and it was mindblowing." – not the response I was expecting from Tom, nice! And well done!
There were circles under his eyes that weren't from makeup, and he thought he could see a slight pink tinge to the whites of his eyes. – I like the parallels of the twins checking themselves out in the mirror and finding the same evidence.
The soft swell of her breasts was just barely brushing against her shirt, and he wondered if she had enough to fill his mouth. – ha ha
"OH MY GOD! Bill?!" Tom jumped to his feet. "Bill?" – ha ha!
"God, why am I such a dick?" – not exactly convincing considering the rest of the tone and Tom’s behavior.
"Oh, the saleslady gave me some watermelon lip gloss. It's so good, like candy."
Tom caught his breath. "Oh."
Bill winked. "Want a taste?" – ha ha that’s how I got my first kiss lol!!!
Bill leaned closer and closer. Tom's eyes closed, and all of a sudden he felt something cold and slick touch his lips. His eyes shot open, and he saw Bill pulling the tube of lipgloss away. He felt... disappointed? – that was an amazingly perfect set up!
Tom’s fantisies are fun and funny.
I love that he’s still trying to figure out who the cougars are.
Bill was wearing a tight mini-skirt and a turtleneck shirt. "Oh, my, god." – um yeah I think it’s hot too!
"Not a word, Tom, just drive me back." – ha ha!
The slow build up of sex that ends in humor is fun but if it keeps going it’s going to get old soon.
He disappeared into his closet, and Tom had a second to stop laughing. He breathed deep, his eyes closed. Suddenly, he felt someone straddling him, and he opened his eyes to see Bill so close he could see himself in his twin's eyes. – this is a VERY nice transition!
Later, neither knew who moved first. It never mattered. They were kissing. – VERY good transition! So well done!
He bit down gently on the pulse in Bill's throat, and then sucked and licked the skin gently. – hot hot hot!
Bill shivered when Tom slid his boxers off. Tom's hard cock was a tiny bit smaller than Bill's, but it looked so much more delicious. Bill wanted to run his tongue over it. So he did. – hot and I am so impressed with how you move the story along with so few words!
Tom had his hands knotted into Bill's hair – nice description.
Thankfully he'd had his manicurist trim his nails shorter than normal – premeditated?
He slipped one fingertip just barely inside of Tom, and felt the skin contract tightly against it. – interesting that Tom is allowing this…I’m not used to this but you did refrence that Tom didn’t care when he was drunk so…hum?!
Tom let go of his hair enough to slip a hand down to his groin, and he began to slide his fingers up and down Bill's cock. – whoa what position are they in?
Bill swished it a little, and then swallowed. A little drop leaked out of his mouth.
~~~~
Tom saw his ejaculate drip down from Bill's mouth, and he kissed him roughly, tasting himself. – I like the POV flips!
Tom laughed. – I’m glad he can see the humor.
"Just struck me funny. Out of everyone we could have slept with, we chose each other. – yeah a little nutty but really hot!
Bill started blushing. "Any hints for next time?"
Tom grinned. "You want a next time?"
Bill nodded. "Oh my god, yes." – wow they got over the T*cest quick lol
Bill hugged Tom as they were walking away, and it pulled Tom's shirt up enough that Gustav got a good look at a red strap that looked an awful lot like a thong... – ha ha
Your humor and timing are really good. and for a PWP that you wrote in 2 hours you get a cookie and a gold medal! In fact you have have one just for writing a good PWP. lol
Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! This is the most descriptive review I've ever gotten, and I appreciate it very much! Thanks for the cookie and gold medal. :) I'm going to be smiling all day now.
Date: 03/19/09 04:46 pm Title: Chapter 1
HAHAHAAHA!
Omg, the thong thing kills me.
I love it.
x].
Author's Response: Thank you! :D
Date: 03/11/09 10:25 pm Title: Chapter 1
TOM IN A THONG.
My mind just stopped working.
I love your smut so much!! It's perfect!
Author's Response: Thank you very much! ^_^
Author's Response: Thank you very much! ^_^
Date: 03/10/09 07:09 pm Title: Chapter 1
true true he has had some awesome hair! anyway its gone 11 so im gonna go to sleepy byes now
nighty night!
xXx
Author's Response: good night!
Date: 03/10/09 07:04 pm Title: Chapter 1
i know! no one can dance like bill! although his style had got better..he used to wear some rlly gross skirts!
Author's Response: OMG, I know! I love his style now, but I liked his hair better during the Schrei album.
Date: 03/10/09 07:01 pm Title: Chapter 1
never saw a youtube add but i went on an exchange to germany aand heard them on the radio been hooked ever since!
yeah bill and tom made a bbet which bill lost so had to go on starsearch whoch was kinda how they were discovered! have you seen the starsearch clip? its hilarious!
Author's Response: yeah, I have, Bill looks like a little elf! His dancing hasn't changed, either. He was so cute!
Date: 03/10/09 06:58 pm Title: Chapter 1
tis! i well will just have to go move to germany or somewhere i guess =) they're really interesting to study and to think it all started off with a bet!
Author's Response: lol, really? wow. I actually got interested in them from the youtube ad.
Date: 03/10/09 06:54 pm Title: Chapter 1
wow! you've been recently converted! i found out about them about a year ago but they never and i eman NEVER come to England anymore tehy came once got 1 bad review and havent been back since :(
Author's Response: Aw, that sucks. recently converted and studying them ever since. :)
Date: 03/10/09 06:48 pm Title: Chapter 1
*grins*
my frnd was at that show! i went to the one in paris twas awesome sauce but got yelled at alto by angry french men...
Author's Response: Oooh, lucky friend! I've only known about them for about a month, so I haven't had a chance to go to any of the shows. I'm impatiently waiting, though. :)
Date: 03/10/09 06:46 pm Title: Chapter 1
*dances like bill having a party all on his own*
yyyaaaayyyyyyyyy
Author's Response: Oh, I loved that part! *just sits down and watches... and picks up a skittle*
Date: 03/10/09 06:44 pm Title: Chapter 1
*dances with you* WWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Author's Response: *does the Kaulitz leg dance* wheeeeeee
Date: 03/10/09 06:42 pm Title: Chapter 1
*worships sugar* oh great and mighty sugar! *worships half eaten trophy* give us the power to become hyper!
Author's Response: lol. I'm already hyper! *dances around trophy*
Date: 03/10/09 06:39 pm Title: Chapter 1
yay! *eats trophie* sugar sugar everywhere!
Author's Response: lol. *bows deeply* all hail sugar queen!
Date: 03/10/09 06:36 pm Title: Chapter 1
wow i feel just like a princess! *tries to eat trophy* wow! its not gummie or skittley!
Author's Response: sorry *takes back gold trophy and gives you skittle-y/gummy trophy* better?
Date: 03/10/09 06:30 pm Title: Chapter 1
yay! i win! *happy dance* *falls over*
Author's Response: *hands you golden crown and a trophy* First Place in the Smiley Contest! (insert random cheers here)
Date: 03/10/09 06:21 pm Title: Chapter 1
+_+
Author's Response: aaaand... I'm out of smileys. lol
Date: 03/10/09 06:17 pm Title: Chapter 1
{ (~~)'_'(~~)
Author's Response: `.`