my misa.. I'm loosing my sanity over here..I'm falling in fucking love with the bitchy, sadistic and twisted bill..Huh...

i am skared....i really want more now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! buti am seriously not liking bill. he's such an arrogant prick! *strangles* will he turn nice l8r? d:)

Author's Response: Liek, duh! XD Of course he will. It's a ROMANCE, dude! XP I can't make people hate Bill forever, by the end of every story I write, I want everyone to love him again. XD

O_o

Haha, Billa had BETTER lose his virginity by the end of this fic LOL!!! Good, very good, moar!!

beautiful!!!! moreeeee

well, this story is new and interesting. While I always find that you write well, it's actually the plot that I find issues with. Slight issues, but issues nonetheless.

Likes: I do like Marietta. I agree that she does seem like some sort of prisoner of war and I feel sorry for her. I guess her motivation is that she wants to belong--and we all know that people who are desperate to belong do the stupidest things. But this brings me to one of my issues that I will discuss below in "dislikes". Other things I liked? I don't know why, but I find the parts where Bill is watching Tom through the window, very intriguing, creepy and hot. The fact that he never says anything, just watches...it's interesting. Makes me wonder if he just does this all the time--or if it's just when Tom moved in that has made him turn into a voyeur of sorts. It also makes me wish Tom would stop waving to him like some sort of spaz. (re: disklikes) I wonder if they'll eventually speak to each other through the window at some point. :D

Dislikes: I don't get Tom. At least not yet. He doesn't appear to be the desperate type for friends nor does he seem like he's the type to belong to the type of clique that Bill runs. So I find it a bit odd that he is even considering it and hasn't just torn the invitation up and been done with it. I get that they are saying he "doesn't have a choice" but a person always does--and I'm just not getting his motivation here. The way I see your Tom...he's a pretty nice guy who has moved to this new place, but he's in the end a person that marches to his own drum. So yeah...if he was being written like he's a doormat and an asskisser, then I'd see why he's wanting in that clique so bad. But right now I'm just mystified. I guess it's a personal thing for me, you know? sometimes it's hard not to read something and not go: "But I wouldn't even have done that!" For me, I'm the type of person who would have moved, saw Bill in the window and I would have waved. But when he didn't react, I would have then been like: "Fuck you." and I would have been done with the arrogant fucker. I don't have patience for stuff like that. So it's hard for me to read about Tom keep waving to Bill like some groupie. I want Tom to have a backbone in other words.

My other issue is something that I'm not just finding in your story, but in others before yours...so I'm not just singling you out. It's the whole: Bill-is-a-guy-without-morals-and-really-kind-of-depraved-but-he's-still-sweet-and-a-virgin! type of thing. I'm sorry, I don't get that. It doesn't make sense to me that Bill can either do horrible things, or have his friends do it, yet he's saving himself for true love? Nah, I'm not buying it. I am not saying a morally corrupt person can't find true love. Even villians get torn up over a man or a woman in movies/books all the time. But I think the journey of them getting there--to that love, I mean--should be more complex than just saying they are a virgin. I don't know...it just seems like a cop out of sorts. Like, being virginal or waiting for true love is the factor that saves this Bill from being a truly despicable person. Do you get what I'm saying? I'd rather have seen that Bill is cruel and obsessive and Tom comes along and slowly starts to redeem him because Bill falls for Tom. Without the virgin factor. That works to me in a fluff story, but a darker story like this...it just throws it out of whack for me.

But like I said, these are personal opinions. In no way am I saying that the story isn't good or that you cannot write. I'm just stating my honest assessment of what I've read so far.

Anyway, I do hope to see more of this. It's a good start and I hope more will be made clear in later chapters.

Author's Response: Again, deep breath before I take the plunge... *dives in* Okay, first off, I ALWAYS have a hard time writing Tom. XD I don't know why, he's just really difficult for me. SO, let me try to explain his basic character for this story, or as much as I know of it. You're right, he isn't interested in friends. He's basically like, "Pfft, seen it all already, so whatever." He thinks it's all the same, everywhere. So this whole Kaulitz thing has him thrown for a loop, and he's vaguely intrigued. And the idea is not that he's waving to Bill like a groupie, it's more like he's waving the invitation like, "WTF is this shit?" And when Bill doesn't respond, that's why he's kinda like, "Maybe I just won't go" SO, that's the best I can explain that, sorry if that isn't satisfactory or if it didn't come across that way. I have this nasty cold which has given me a constant headache over the past few days, and I can see from people's comments on the recent chapter of SMRM that it is affecting my ability to make sense. XD Apparently it's happening here too. ._.; Okay, as to your next point... Marietta is painting Bill as black-and-white, but his character is more gray than that. He is NOT sweet, in my opinion, personally I think he does it to further control his clique members. Bill is always very aware of what he is doing. Saving himself for true love? While that does end up being the case, originally it was probably a technique used to make the members want to get even closer to him. If they think they might be closing in on it, then they feel special and above the other members. Bill knows this, and uses it to his advantage (it certainly worked on Andreas) though it will end up being his downfall later in the story. A your-greatest-strength-is-your-greatest-weakness kind of thing. Trust me, I would have LOVED to not make Bill a virgin in this, but during the planning, it became evident that the impact it would have on later chapters was something I could not overlook. It's not meant to be a cop- out, it's the point that will bring this story to it's ultimate conclusion. When I first came up with the idea for this story, I wanted Bill to be a truly despicable person, but as I planned it, I realized he wasn't. The virgin factor is not meant to play into that at all, however, that's just used to really bring the tension to a head so the story could move forward. I couldn't do it as effectively otherwise. You'll see what I mean when I post the later chapters. It'll make sense, I hope. ><

VERY GOOD I just got into the story. cant wait for the next up date

yes marietta is a good character but i still like Andreas better, just because he slamed some guys face into a table and got.......... a reward..... hehehe

Author's Response: Well, #2, that's because you're a sadistic nutcase, and you know that Andreas gets his. XD Imma dedicate a chapter to you, okay? Like, ch5, because I think that's the first one where you show up, right? Or is it 6? I dunno. XP I'll check later.

Oh, wow.


That was really interesting. He's a bit of a prick out in public, but an absolute angel/saint in bed?! That's great, ha. And the fact that Marietta misses that more than anything is VERY interesting. Daaamn.

*_* Awesome, love.

i hope it's tom that does it ;)