Date: 04/26/09 01:09 am Title: Chapter Eleven
Well this was a facinating chapter. Bill should probably give Tom a heads up that things don't work out so well for the pagans.
Also he didn't answer the preggers question. We know the answer but he never told Tom.
Author's Response: *grins* Bill probably should, but hey. Just wait til things like TV are mentioned . . .o.O And yay! Only two people noted Bill never answered.
Date: 04/26/09 12:20 am Title: Chapter Eleven
"But despite my better judgement, I also find a self proclaimed 'freak' to be rather attractive."
I really can't wait to see what happens. This is one of my favorite stories :)
xx
Author's Response: *Beams* Thank you so much. It made my day to hear that!
Date: 04/25/09 11:57 pm Title: Chapter Eleven
So, won't it be an issue for Tom when he realizes that Bill can't carry a child to term?
Author's Response: I'm glad you picked up on the fact that was never mentioned. I was curious to see who would.
Date: 04/25/09 11:00 pm Title: Chapter Eleven
I was SO waiting for this!! I'm dying to see if Bill gets pregnant or not!! I hope he/she does!!
I love this story a lot!
Please update soon! :D
Author's Response: Yay thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I'm glad you liked the much needed chappie
Date: 04/25/09 03:32 pm Title: Chapter Ten
I shall threaten the heck out of you if you do not update soon! This was an amazing chapter, not to mention the one I've been waiting for, lol. They do need to talk though.
Author's Response: No threats, please O.O And I think by the time The Talk is over (is up, but is just waiting to be validated), you will probably never want anymore talking chapters from me. . .
Date: 04/25/09 06:39 am Title: Chapter Ten
Ummm... I have a feeling that Bill is going to end up pregnant...
Author's Response: It IS a possibility . . .
Date: 04/24/09 02:28 am Title: Prologue One: Modern Day Berlin
i meant to say boy....
Date: 04/22/09 08:26 pm Title: Chapter Ten
can you believe i just notice you updated this story.i remember you telling over msn but it wasn't up yet so i didn't have a change to read it that day!!!!
SO OUR LITTLE TOM DID LIKED WHAT HE SAW HUH???i knew that little bitch *just playing ok?* was gonna try to seduce billa and of course he's gonna fall;-)
awwwe i love gusti, he's such a sweetheart!!!!I LOVE HIM=D
8 stories???*heart attack*
i Want more!!!!
random comment:god i feel so fucking tired.it had a horrible day=(and to top if off i got my monthly visitor today!!!
ok why the hell am i telling you this you may ask???i'm really moody right now!!!!!and don't have anything else to do!!!!bye
Author's Response: How DARE you not pay attention to my stuff, woman! And of course Tom liked what he saw. And yeah, Gusti's kinda cute. I know you love him. Aww *huggles* Mine came today too...And I just love how this is online so everyone can read XD
Date: 04/21/09 04:19 pm Title: Chapter Ten
I didn't have a time to write a review to last few chapters but I have been reading every one of them. And with every new chapter I just love this story more and more!
I'm so happy that things are progressing between Tom and Bill. Tom seems to really like Billa, he doesn't care about his boy parts. And they had sex, it was hot ;) Can't wait for The Talk. But things are looking good at the moment :)
Can't wait what you have in store for us! (your last reply, the mpreg stuff).
So very good!
xx
Author's Response: Yay! I'm so glad to hear that. And yes, they did have sex. Glad you thought it was hot XD
Date: 04/21/09 08:42 am Title: Chapter Ten
yay!! the truth came out and bill survived!! and they finally got together! yay! keep up the good work, i look forward to more. i think your writing is improving as this story develops. keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Yay for Bill surviving. You know, I thought I responded to this, but apparently I didn't. Thank you SO much for your feedback. I'm glad to hear I'm growing as a writer.
Date: 04/19/09 05:36 pm Title: Chapter Ten
AWW THIS WAS SOSO CUTE=] PLZ UPDATE SOON THX
Author's Response: XD I'm glad you liked
Date: 04/19/09 02:22 am Title: Chapter Ten
omg..i just wanted to say that when i saw this update i felt my heart stop. XDD i am spazzing so much right now~ i am so glad that Tom didn't reject Bill~ :DD yay~ for them having sexy time~ ;DD but...i dunno know...i have this nagging feeling that they should have talk first. *shrugs* oh~ thank you so much for this update~ :DD
Author's Response: Noes! Your heart is not allowed to stop. Who's gonna review if it does? Everyone needs sexy time every now and again XD Lust often overpowers reason, why should this be an exception?
Date: 04/19/09 02:06 am Title: Chapter Ten
Yay!! An update!!!XD AhahahaXDXD Goodness!XD Will Bill get pregnant on their first time? LMAO ahahaha...XD I want mooooooorrreee!!XDXD
Author's Response: That would really suck and OMG! for some reason, reading that just gave me an idea o.O THANK YOU! . . .even though you don't know what it is yet XD
Date: 04/19/09 12:18 am Title: Chapter Ten
Ooh yay, tom isn't angry! In fact, he's just incredibly horney... poor man, so many choices :P I'm really glad you updated this, I'm always waiting for it and BAM there it was tonight, you totally made my day! Thank you XD *Squee*
Author's Response: XD Wouldn't you be after seeing Bill's bits? And you are most welcome! *huggles*
Date: 04/18/09 11:36 pm Title: Chapter Ten
Wow. You make it sound almost scientific in your descriptions of Bill's "girl bits", and that just makes it that much more interesting.
I enjot this so much.
Author's Response: XD Haha yay. I'm totally making it up as I go along. Based loosely off an LOTR fic (for the boy/girl bits), but other than that, that's what my brain comes up with. Glad you liked!
Date: 04/18/09 10:52 pm Title: Chapter Ten
"Billa? We may as well have that talk you requested."
Tom is such a moodkiller, hehe.
This chapter was great, paced well, and just... :D My brain is kind of useless right now, so I hope you're happy with just that. ^^;;
The whole intersex thing is still so intriguing, although I wish that Tom had been a bit more conflicted/confused/demanding of answers. But well, maybe that'll come next.
...I wonder if Bill gets pregnant.
Author's Response: The Talk is going to happen next chapter. But if you were in his place, would you not be distracted by Bill's nakedness? XD
Date: 04/18/09 04:31 pm Title: Chapter Nine
please update soon??
i miss this story*cries*
Author's Response: I have the chapter done. It's been done for like, a week. But there is a huge betaing problem. I got confused on part of the first beta, so I asked my english teacher friend, and she was all "you don't need to change most of this stuff", etc. So I'm just waiting for her betaing to finish and yeah *wipes brow* Lotsa work.
Date: 04/12/09 05:37 pm Title: Chapter Nine
Hey! :) It's as amazing as always, really:) It's going so weeell:) I hope that Tom will be fine with it and that the bell thing isn't something really bad...So....You made my day, again:)
Author's Response: XD Yay! I'm glad. And as for Tom. . .well, we'll see XD
Date: 04/09/09 09:33 pm Title: Chapter Nine
Wow. That was a really intense chapter. They are probably both so confused right now, but I guess Lord Tom had more important things to deal with...
I can't wait for more!
Author's Response: Yeah, unfortunately he did. I'm so glad you like it!
Date: 04/09/09 07:37 am Title: Prologue One: Modern Day Berlin
Well, as for Bill being intersexed, don't worry about it. There's a thing that writers have called creative license ;) As long as it sounds like you know what you're talking about, no one is going to care if you're wrong.
There were couple of things I thought could use more description but I don't remember them all. One though was the time jump, which didn't have enough build up and was slightly confusing, plus it might have had more effect if Georg had had a line when he caught the staff. Instead it seemed like he just appeared to catch it and he didn't have any reaction to it at the time, so the reader gets the image of Georg walking up and stoically catching the staff, which isn't like his character. I would think that he would act more surprised when he caught it. Even if it was just a grunt, not a quote, otherwise I think of Agent Smith from the Matrix. Maybe though you intended it like that, and I'm nitpicking.
Also I think Bill storming off at the end of chapter three [technically five] seemed a little forced, like you were looking for an excuse for him to do so, but I didn't find the provocation adequate. Maybe if you had mentioned that Bill was touchy about his father [or if you have, I clearly forgot and then a reminder within the chapter could have been used] then it would seem more in place. Or, you could have written a small blurb about why Bill got angry before he spoke and left. Basically just to make it flow more realistically to the reader, because even if that is how he would naturally react, if you don't spell it out for the reader, the reader won't notice.
Anyway, it's just small things like that. Your description of the setting and the characters is fine, just some parts could use a little filling to help the flow. :)
I hope that was helpful!
Author's Response: Actually, that did help. thanks!