Date: 08/07/10 08:22 am Title: Chapter 27
Aww poor Bill! More?
Author's Response: Yes, of course there's more. I just have to write it.
Date: 08/07/10 06:51 am Title: Chapter 27
:/
But that's pretty well delivered I'd say.
Now what the fuck is up with Aaron.
Author's Response: Thanks. Sometimes I like it, sometimes it think it's too abrupt or something.rnrnAaron's an asshole with few morals, and he thinks it's so great that he can make Tom mad!
Date: 08/07/10 06:07 am Title: Chapter 27
i didn't expect bill to swear! I know he was mad and hurt but does he swear! lol
i wasn't expecting that.
i must say i found the dinner part a bit boring. i don't really know if there's something you can do or if it's just me. maybe it's because it's mainly descriptive, i don''t know.
i wasn't expecting the reasion for tom being an ass was this, you surprised me :) poor bill, he has everything taken away from him :|
Author's Response: Haha yeah, Bill's not a little lady, he swears (at least when he's very mad). rnrnOMG THANK YOU for honestly telling me a NEGATIVE opinion! I think that's only happened maybe 1 or 2 times ever. So boring huh? Now I have to go back and read it again. The reason I put it in was so you guys could see the process of events that's leading up to Tom being a jerk to Bill. rnrnGlad I surprised you. Thanks for the awesome review!
Date: 08/07/10 05:28 am Title: Chapter 27
I really like the Tom/Bill parts in this chapter, you really did a good job getting the emotions through to the reader.
Keep it up!
Author's Response: Thanks! I actually went back and toned it down a bit. There was origionally too much talk of eyes: Tom's eyes this and Bill's eyes that.
Date: 08/07/10 05:09 am Title: Chapter 27
Ok I'm not mad any more so you can get a better review in my shity English.
Ok I stil don't like Tom! Kinda mad at him stil but yeah.
“How about this: You’re my fucking concubine, Bill. My slave. You’re not a freeman, not my spouse, and you’re certainly not my equal.”
That almost made me cry. How could he say that to Bill. He knows how Bill feels about the whole slave thing. And how can he say that after that Bill gave him self to him.
“Tom,” Bill broke in, and his voice wavered- half in anger, half in sadness, “How can you say that? You know that’s not true.”
Bill is so right there! Tom knows that they at least are friends!
Tom must feel verry confused or something like that to say stuff like that to Bill. Or he just dont want to admit that he is abit in love with Bill.
“Bill, you don’t mean that.”
Well I think Bill dose mean it. Tom needs to apologize and I think that the apologize needs to be a very good one.
Ok I hope you understand my bad English.
BTW A reallt good fics and I hope I get more soon.
Author's Response: Your english wasn't bad. If you hadn't mentioned it, I never would have known you weren't a native speaker.rnrnAbout what Tom said. Maybe he is forcing himself to say it?
Date: 08/07/10 04:53 am Title: Chapter 27
i really love it, every story needs a angsty part, thats what makes it real good. And this is reeal good
Author's Response: Thank you! That makes me happy.
Date: 08/07/10 04:46 am Title: Chapter 27
Oh there is a reason for this and is definitely has to do with Aaron. I am looking forward to figuring out what it is. I feel badly for Tom and esp Bill in the mean time though. Keep up the great work!
Author's Response: I'm glad you feel bad for Tom as well; I think, since I haven't fully explained his irrational thought patterns yet, that many readers feel unsympathetic towards him.
Date: 08/07/10 04:28 am Title: Chapter 27
*faint*
Tom your little bitch! I GONE HIT YOU!!! *Someone holding me back* I'm so mad at him!!
How can he say that to poor Bill! GRRRRR!!! I want more! Give me more!
Author's Response: I understand your anger.rnrnTom has his reasons (convoluted as they may be).
Date: 08/07/10 03:05 am Title: Chapter 27
Wow, that was written most excellently. You made me tear up!
That being said, I too think Bill would have - or at least that's what I would do in that situation - slowly become antagonized in the three weeks. I know that Tom said he was busy, but even so, three weeks is a long time, and I'd become chafed regardless.
Lol I got confused for a second at Tom's reaction to Bill's first "we are nothing". What the heck was he expecting?
Oh, and I strongly suggest making it more clear that Manar is the one who asked if Umhind and the others are staying in the palace. I mean, two sentences later one can figure that out, but it just caused confusion during the actual dialogue.
Author's Response: Are you saying that it did seem like Bill was increasingly antagonized, and you liked it; or that it didn't,and you would have changed it to make it so? rnrnI think he knew that reaction was coming, but it still makes him very sad that Bill now aparantly hates him.rnrnOn that last point, thanks! If the dialogue is confusing some people, I truely want to know so I can fix it. Nobody ever remembers to point out those errors though :(
Date: 08/07/10 02:21 am Title: Chapter 27
I hate Tom!
Well, now that we're over that fact. I think that Bill should've got mad at Tom since the first week and ignore him when he bumped into him at the library. Maybe apologize but still act indifferent towards Tom for not giving him a reason or actually tell him the truth. I'll think it's just cuz it's part of Bill's personality that he acted the way he did. Tho I would love to see him act cold in the near future :3
Like always, it was a lovely update. Waiting for the next.
Author's Response: I kind of agree. It was more of a girl reaction to get so mad like he did, and Bill's a man. But if I'd made him just act coolly and ignore Tom, then it would have taken even longer before the 'big fight,' and I just want to get this story moving. There's more stuff that's going to happen and I'd like it to happen this century.rnrnI do have a part in mind though where Bill will be acting like you want, so sit tight and wait for that.rnrnThank you so much for all of your thoughts and comments!
Date: 08/07/10 01:41 am Title: Chapter 27
OMGGGGGGGG
Author's Response: OMGGGGGG review!
Date: 08/06/10 09:45 pm Title: Chapter 26
Haha, you used the name Mansour, my last name is Al-mansour XD
Author's Response: I just googled arabic names and picked the ones I liked.
Date: 08/06/10 01:47 pm Title: Chapter 1
now i am absolutely, positively, sitting on the edge of my seat. O.O
i can only imagine what kind of betrayal Tom has suffered.
anxiously awaiting the next update! great job!
Author's Response: Thanks for the comments.
Date: 08/06/10 12:08 pm Title: Chapter 26
So Aaron left, and now he's back! Poor Tom, I can only imagine what he's going to have to go through in the next few chapters. I adore this story, and all the long haituses you take basically kill me! I know all to well how life gets in the way of creative things, so remember that when I say: PLEASE KEEP WRITING! XD I van conceive of why this has not been featured yet, so I'm going to go make that happen now.
Author's Response: Wow, Thanks for the vote for featured fic! rnrnSorry about the haituses. I always feel bad about that. I'm going to try really hard to finish this by the end of the summer, but no promises.
Date: 08/06/10 11:38 am Title: Chapter 26
Fuck! Fuck! Noooo! (pardon my expletives)
Oh no, hell is going to happen once someone sees Deena wearing that ornament.
Geez, if Bill wasn't in the position he is now, liked by Tom and his mother, he would probably be killed for letting those diamonds out of his hands. (Although I'm aware if he wasn't in that position, he wouldn't have gotten them in the first place..)
And lol, yeah vagueness.
Author's Response: Sometimes I write thinngs that seem like clues to my readers, when they're really not meant to be.rnrnWell, they're his diamonds now. He can do whatever he wants with them.
Date: 08/06/10 11:35 am Title: Chapter 26
-spoon feeds you the rest of his favorite icy treat- That makes me so relieved. I couldn't stand to not know how this story will ultimately end, I'd go crazy from curiosity. -hugs tight- You are a doll. xoxo
Author's Response: Well, you still don't know how it's going to end. I just told you one thing that isn't going to happen.
Date: 08/06/10 08:49 am Title: Chapter 26
Ehh Bill and Tom need to meet up again..or possibly Tom sees Deena(?) with his jewels and gets mad at her! Now that would be an awesome scene!!!
Author's Response: Hey, good ideas! Thanks for the review.
Date: 08/06/10 04:31 am Title: Chapter 26
I love how you are being so vague, it's keeping me on my toes. I hope Tom and Bill get closer emotionally, I miss it as much as Bill does. One thing I DON"T want to see, however, is Tom thinking that his mom chose the girl over Bill for his hand, I don't want Tom to see the broach on her and assume he HAS to marry her to please his mother. If it comes to that point and his mom doesn't tell Tom that she gave the jewels to Bill and he doesn't choose Bill himself, I will be extremely sad. I will probably be so devastated that I might have to stop reading this beautiful story, but that's only because I suffer from pms worse than a girl. I'd cry off and on for no reason for a month if I have to read about Tom ruining his relationship with Bill because of a pin... BUT! I still love this story, and I adore you. -awaits your next chapter with a bouncy knee and digging into frozen lemonade-
Author's Response: Oh, can I have some frozen lemonade?! *licks lips*rnrnI never thought about that scenario you just presented. Hmmm. Ok, I'll just tell you now that that isn't going to happen. So you can breath a sigh of relief and stick with the story.
Date: 08/06/10 03:39 am Title: Chapter 26
I want more! I want Bill and Tom to talk! Why did you do this to me? Just a chapter where they did't meet
Author's Response: No, they didn't meet in this chapter, but some important stuff happened. I guess important doesn't necessarily mean interesting...
Date: 08/06/10 03:36 am Title: Chapter 26
I've been missing this fic! So happy to see it being updated! ^_^ Hope you don't mind me reviewing the last few at once...
Bill, that seems like a bad move loaning out those jewels. Even if she's a friend and you don't plan on wearing them anytime soon, it's best to keep them safe. I'd been wondering why he didn't tuck those under his bed or something.
Tom, go talk to Bill... you know damn well he likes you! Just watch out for Aaron... he sounds like trouble.
And Jorg... you deserve whatever ends up coming to you.
Author's Response: Bill may be a little too trusting...rnrnI agree with the Jorg comment. All I can say about Tom is that sometimes he's a dummy.rnrnThanks for all your thoughts on the story!