Date: 10/15/10 12:25 pm Title: Chapter 35
This took me three days to read the entire thing (I have no life this week. I really don't)For a good chunk of this fic I was ready to reach inside and slap Tom around some for his stupidity and just dumb assyness. But then when he made it up to Bill and everything I admit I flutter clapped for a minute then flailed around on my bed like Bill does on stage. Thank god I was the only one awake in my house or they would have heard the squeals I was making during that entire chapter.
My theories on who's the jerkoff poisoning Tom and Ankara and Farah is that it's Aaron and Jörg doign it together. But I did think that it could be Hessa or whatever Tom's oldest haf brother's mom's name is. It's hard to keep up with all the names of these people. It really is, but I remember the names that are the most important and easiest to learn.
I just have a question. How do you categorize the concubines. Ankara was Jörg's second one right? And the royal bitch one the first? But does the status thing come from who's favoured most or who gave birth to the first child? (In Jörg's case anyways. I know Bill is the higher standing one for Tom).
Also, what about Bill's parents and that? How come they haven't been mentioned at all? Wouldn't they be worried that Bill just disappeared like that in the middle of the night?
This fic originally didn't interest me because the summary didn't catch my attention but after Thea and Neko kept telling me for weeks on end that I needed to read it, I caved and now it's my favourite fic right after For Charity. Honestly, amazing work! You're doing such a great job pacing and developing the characters and working your way through your plot.
As for this chapter, it was amazing. I like how you have the situation between Tom and Bill somewhat similar to that of Tom and Aaron because it shows that their worries overlap in small ways. But I like how you have Bill still so reassured that he's the only one that Tom loves and will love. And what's happened to Deena?! I like her! Don't kill her off! At the least just have her get hurt. Oh and I think that Anis has something to do with all this bullshit going on with the guards and stuff (I hate the new ones by the way). I'm havign trouble picturing Bushido being such a jerkoff because how I see him is the way Syn and I depict him in our Flamer series. It's hard but I like how you have his character for this story even if it is hard to imagine his face there.
I'll stop babbling now and just say that I absolutely LOVE this fic and that I can't wait until you post the next chapter.
~*~ Tomi
Author's Response: Since Jorg isn't married to any of his concubines, his childrens' status goes by birth order. Tom's on top since he was born first. BUT, if Jorg were to marry one of his wives, then that woman's children would be elevated to the top.
Date: 10/14/10 04:46 pm Title: Chapter 35
Ooh my Gooood! What is happening? What is with the sudden cliffhanger? Please tell me it isn't Tom.
Why would it be Tom?
I DON'T KNOW! Please tell me he isn't it.
I don't really think it's him, though. Can't be, he is to darling for that. It is one off the creepy people who do those creepy thing that sometimes happen in and around the Harem. Like the money transportations, the room-seeking, those people talking about weird stuff...
Which is making me think, Bill still never gets money, does he? Did I miss that part?
Ok. Now a few things I wanted to quote:
"“Oh no, that was me playing hard-to-get.”
“Oh.” Tom didn’t get it."
- And me neither. What is not to get Tom? Damn, and that will be King (or lord?) of Bagrah...
"He turned, “How do I look?”
Tom stared.
“Thanks!”"
XD That was just epic.
And, something deeper:
"“I understand your reasoning,” he admitted softly, “I know it’s true.”
Tom kissed the top of his head. “But you disagree,” he anticipated.
“No,” Bill sighed, “It’s not that I disagree. I just hate that you’re right.”"
I just loved that part. Did we all not have had some sort of situation like that? Were there is this... fact, you just can't go around. And it is there, and it makes you unhappy, and you can talk about all you want, but it won't make it any better. Cause it won't go away. Because it can't.
Just loved the way you described it, it's all so real. The story wouldn't have been complete without Bill moaning (with reason, mind you) about it. Because people just don't except that kind of stuff, its just not in our system. We have to much emotions for that. Poor Bill and Poor Tom. I really feel like he would quit them if he could. It's just that he CAN'T. Those girls have been there for ever, what would they do if he just kicked them out? And he can't ignore them either, that's just cruel. Not until he and Bill are married, that is. Than there is a reason for it all. Than Tom better stops seeing them, (in intimate ways) because that is just cheating!
And last but not least:
I'd chime in with a
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
With a sense of poise and rationality.
-That is just stuck in my head after reading your chapter end notes. And I'm so nice to share :]
Okay, that was my totally incoherent review. I apologize on my behalf. Really. I'm sorry. I don't get my mind either. ;)
Author's Response: *sigh* I love long reviews.rnrnThe playing hard to get part where it says Tom doesn't get it is just meant to illustrate how sometimes guys can be desne about women's machinations (I know Bill's a guy but... whatever)rnrnI'm glad you liked my reasoning and presentation of the whole monogamy issue. Tom is all Deena and Mahtob have, and he's sort of responsible for their happiness. There are two extremes that I wated to avoid: one was Bill being too accepting of sharing his man, and the other was Tom immediately dumping his other concubines in the dust for Bill. Neither option is realistic.rnrnThank you so much for taking the time to tell me all your thoughts on the story. I loved reading your review!
Date: 10/14/10 01:02 pm Title: Chapter 15
I love Bill's tattoo =)
Author's Response: Me too!
Date: 10/14/10 05:38 am Title: Chapter 35
and why can't they speak lower?! xD
I liked this chapter very much, really :D
Author's Response: They probably could, but then my story wouldn't work. So they have to yell.rnrnGlad you liked it, thanks for commenting!
Date: 10/14/10 04:14 am Title: Chapter 1
I thought that you would've understood what I was trying to say. I thought that my first message was a sweet way of telling you how I felt at the time. I usually write something like that instead of lurking when I think someone deserves a review, but I don't want to sound like a broken record. I just don't want to NOT leave you something. Pretty much I was trying to say that I wonder what Bill saw, but I know I have to wait to find out. So I started playing with my brother's hair(his head is on my lap, he fell asleep due to medication) and that I hope you update this soon. Would you rather me just keep repeating myself, I could if you wanted me to... Next time, I just wont review if I'm annoying you. Sorry to bother you with my useless review.
Author's Response: I was in a bad mood so I got a little snippy.
Date: 10/14/10 03:03 am Title: Chapter 35
~nudges Bill's shoulder to take a glance and gets ignored, then proceeds to play with his hair until you update or Tom comes back. whatever happens first~
Author's Response: Um... ok. Maybe you could leave an actual review next time? It kind of annoys me when people offer me cookies or type emoticons. That's not what the review box is for.
Date: 10/14/10 02:29 am Title: Chapter 35
omg how can u be ending the story soon when something good is going to happen
Author's Response: I know we like stories to go on forever, but that isn't what's best for the story. There'll be one more chapter and then an epilogue.
Date: 10/14/10 12:25 am Title: Chapter 35
Lol, your chapter end notes reminded me of that Panic! At The Disco song, "Haven't you ever heard of closing the god**** door..." (I know that's not the song title, but with those crazy names, how in the world am I supposed to remember "I Write Sins, Not Tragedies") lol....
Author's Response: I don't know that song, I'll have to listen to it.
Date: 10/13/10 11:50 pm Title: Chapter 35
i wonder the same thing! lol nice chapter! :)
Author's Response: Everything will be revealed next chapter!
Date: 10/13/10 11:14 pm Title: Chapter 35
WTF is going on?! Hope Bill doesn't find himself in a bad situation since he saw some of what happened...it will be real bad if Tom is involved, you know, since he didn't make it back to watch the eclipse with Bill.
Author's Response: Yeah, it could be bad...
Date: 10/13/10 11:07 pm Title: Chapter 35
I suppose its cause everyone knows what goes on in there...but thats only a guess...very good chapter...poor Bill being too sore to sex it up more with Tomi. I get the distint feeling Deena didnt do the smart thing and act dumb to the people in there with the plan of telling Tom asap...cat wai for the next chapter this fic is sososso good so far!!!
Author's Response: Well him and Tom have been boning like rabbits so, yeah. rnrnDeena wasn't dumb, she was just chasing her cat in the wrong place at the wrong time.rnrnThanks for the review.
Date: 10/13/10 11:06 pm Title: Chapter 35
anis? Aaron? Salim? Tom's father???
Author's Response: All excellent guesses, and I might add, relevant candidates. I made very sure to cultivate a number of suspects for this part of the story. I didn't want people to feel like they knew the answers.
Date: 10/13/10 10:57 pm Title: Chapter 1
Also I can understand Tom sleeping around because it's not fair for Denna and Mahtob and it is actually his duty to keep them happy! I wish I could kick Aaron, Jorg and Salim and cut their balls off!
Author's Response: Yep. The situation is what it is, but it sucks for poor Bill.rnrnI think Tom expressed that same desire a couple chapters ago. They're all jerks, but who's the the biggest jerk, aka the true villan here, hmm?
Date: 10/13/10 10:54 pm Title: Chapter 35
You know I wonder how much you've researched about harems and everything cause most of it is true! :D I
Author's Response: Oh I get most of my facs right? Yay! Glad to hear it. I just research as needed for this fic, on cultural things such as food and clothes and social positions and such. I want it to feel real, not like fantasy.
Date: 10/13/10 10:17 pm Title: Chapter 35
Yeah, why can't they close their doors? :P
I feel bad for Bill, having to share Tom, but I understand Tom's situation, too. It wouldn't be fair to Deena or Mahtob for Tom to just ditch them.
And now you've got me really worried about Deena, not to mention wondering what on earth is going on in this place.
I am very much looking forward to the next chapter!
Author's Response: If they closed their doors you wouldn't see half the stuff you see. It's convenient for me to make them forgetful. rnrnI'm glad you're able to understand and agree with the way I've laid the whole "infidelity" issue out.rnrnGo back and read how I described the moon. There's some foreshadowing imagery there! The shit's going down in this next chapter, that's all I'll say.
Date: 10/13/10 09:58 pm Title: Chapter 35
Why can’t people in this harem close their fucking doors?!
I know, right??
And omg omg @ Tom still sleeping around. MEN!! Just can't keep it in their pants. And yes, I'm already aware of the argument he gave.
I got a flashback from the This Hour's Duty series when even though Bill was his betrothed/spouse?, he still had a duty to sleep with the concubines to beget an heir.
Author's Response: Well, it isn't really about Tom being a philanderer or making excuses so he doesn't have to give anybody up. Like he said, he'd gladly give Deena and Mahtob up, but they're people too and he's all they have and it wouldn't be fair to them. Plus, like you said, children are necessary comodity.rnrnOh hey, yeah. I never thought about that but I suppose the situation is kind of similar to The Hour's Duty. Except perhaps the concubines in this universe have higher status.
Date: 10/13/10 09:39 pm Title: Chapter 35
yikes! I love that things are happening though, keep up the great work, I can't wait for more!
It would totally suck to be in Bill's position. I dont know how he handles it so well.
Author's Response: Bill isn't happy about the situation, AT ALL. But he's able to not hate/blame Tom for it. You'd be surprised what you can put up with when you love someone.rn
Date: 10/13/10 09:09 pm Title: Chapter 35
Closed doors are no fun :P
Exciting stuff coming up :D
Author's Response: Ha, yeah. Just think of all the stuff we'd miss if people weren't forgetful with their doors. And yes, the shit is going down next chapter.
Date: 10/13/10 09:05 pm Title: Chapter 35
Aaaww Bill *pats* It does suck when you have to share. At least he has Tom's heart.
AND WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING...O___O OMG Deena...D:
Author's Response: Sharing sucks, but I am desperately trying to avoid the monogamy trap (Monagamy trap=all competing love/sexual interests conveniently disappear) as well as the happily ever after trap (happily ever after trap=perfect bliss and no negatives forever more). Like you said, Bill's got Tom where it counts.rnrnGrinninng big time here. What's happening? The majorest plot point in the whole story, that's what!rn
Date: 10/13/10 08:54 pm Title: Chapter 35
Noooooooo!!!!!!!!
Author's Response: *Pets head soothingly* I know, I know. Everything will right itself in the end.