Date: 07/30/10 05:58 pm Title: VIII. Recovery
Reviewing as I go along:
I was under the impression that Andreas walked on all fours, like an actual dog. it makes me feel better that he does walk normally !
I'll bet that Tom has been entering and leaving the palace for years now, pretending to be Bill?
Midmorning bath? This makes me think of the cleaning ritual. Since he had yo go through all of that, he must take many baths a day? (Just a question)
So overall, this story appeals to all of my senses. I find myself paying attention to every tiny little detail, and actually taking my time through the chapter, instead of rushing and thinking for only a few minutes. :)
Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much. It really means a lot that you find it worth it to read slowly. Regarding the midmorning bath, I meant that he takes his bath once a day, during the middle of the morning, but I can completely see how it reads the way that you understood it. I'm glad you pointed it out to me - something to be careful of in the future :)
Date: 07/30/10 04:32 pm Title: VIII. Recovery
Mm, I would probably have nightmares too. Poor Bill.
And poor Tom getting tortured.
Aw, Saki's dead. That's kind of sad.
“There’s a rat, isn’t there,” Bill stated blankly. “Someone within the palace who helped him inside.”
O.O
...
It's Andreas.
Lmao, let's immediately guess the people it couldn't possibly be XD
Author's Response: Lool this made me giggle. As always, thank you for your review :)
Date: 07/30/10 07:16 am Title: VII. Cleansing Ritual
I like this story, it is intriguing and makes we want to read more. The plot feels orginial and fresh even though this kind of premiss has become popular. I'm looking forward to the next chapter :)
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm really glad to hear that the plot doesn't seem overdone (I was a bit worried, bc as you said, there has been quite a few fics written along similar lines). So happy you're enjoying!
Date: 07/28/10 04:33 pm Title: VII. Cleansing Ritual
Ugh *shakes head in pity for Bill*
Also, that's a tiny bit funny that he'd be having impure thoughts about Tom during the first part of the ritual.
Author's Response: Lol I'm glad you noticed :)
Date: 07/28/10 01:42 pm Title: VII. Cleansing Ritual
Wow.
So forgive me for being a bit slow, but does it actually make his skin peel off? As in, his old impure skin is gone, so he has new , pure, untouched skin?
I absolutely love the way this story is written, so mellifluous.
Author's Response: lol no, his original skin is still in tact, just a bit raw :) And thank you - it's sort of a weird style to write FF in, but I've always really liked this type of writing so I'm trying to emulate the people who are actually good at it lol. I'm really glad that it seems to be coming through for you!
Date: 07/26/10 06:28 pm Title: VI. Audience
Ugh, I'm getting a feeling of dread about the cleansing they're talking about. I wouldn't be surprised if they dunked him in scalding holy water.
Author's Response: Not far off :)
Date: 07/26/10 06:09 pm Title: V. Celebration
Very good background information.
Lol, so holy scripts can be written by any priest? I don't know if that's a good idea XD
Pshh, it's not Bill's fault a bunch of people saw him in an indecent state. It's not like he invited them in. But whatever, people are paranoid.
I like how you describe the clothing. Effective without too much detail. Usually people describe clothes in great detail and I'm unable to picture it.
Author's Response: Yeah, about the holy scripts, not the brightest idea, right? And thank you :) I really appreciate that you mentioned clothing description, because I'm working at finding a line between not over-describing things like that, but still giving the readers a clear picture. (I tend to want to include eeevery single detail, like "oh, and on these robes there is loop stitching on the hem." I have to go back and delete like 90% of stuff lol)
Date: 07/26/10 05:58 pm Title: IV. Intruder
:'( My gosh
“I kneel for none but the Beloved.”
Well at least he's goddess-fearing. I don't know what I was expecting.
I would probably have a similar reaction as Bill, if my potential killer was circling me, and I couldn't see him. I would probably faint at some point, though, since my consciousness seems to be directly linked to my nervousness.
Mm :/ I'm sorry to say one's beauty would probably stop me as well. (taking away good and bad in that scenario)
Author's Response: I have to say that Bill was a lot braver than me lol. I'd be the one shrieking and throwing things and crying miserably...it would not be pretty. Tom would have killed me straight away lol.
Date: 07/26/10 05:52 pm Title: III. Citysquare
(Ugh, Perez)
I don't quite understand what was happening when Bill got grazed. He was...trying to leave?
That's a shame about the doppelgänger not showing. Innocent ppl were killed but I suppose in the grand scheme of things he's more important.
Author's Response: lol, I thought of this fic fooorever ago when all the Perez drama was going down, and I ended up adding the character just for him (the advisors were meant to play a more behind-the-scenes role originally). And yup, Bill had a mental break and tried to flee the platform when he wasn't supposed to, which left him unprotected. It's sort of meant to be unclear because it's being told pretty deeply from Bill's POV and he wasn't thinking about what he was doing at all, he just did it. So basically, it makes sense that you're somewhat unsure of what happened.
Date: 07/26/10 05:42 pm Title: II. Into the City
I noticed this barely has any reviews, and that's not right!! So I'm gonna leave a review on each chap. (Technically this is for chapters 1 & 2, since ch1 has so many reviews already, and I'm OCD like that)
Chapter One I was totally surprised to find that Bill's "pet" was a human Andreas. The entire time I had assumed it was a cat. But that was the whole point, I suppose.
With the whole look-alike thing, I immediately got a Prince and the Pauper feel. But I bet this will be better.
Bill indeed gives off the air of a child upon whom has been thrust a ton of responsibility. They don't grow up well.
Chapter Two Hmm, so this nation is religion-based...?
And wow, Bill is like a prophet to them. But I suppose that's not surprising, him being "child of the Beloved".
He was afraid that Tom will say that Bill was the imposter? O.o
Hm, so they expect the lookalike to show himself at the execution...
Author's Response: Awww *hugs you* I sometimes feel this way about fics that I like that don't get very much attention, so it's really flattering that you feel this way about this one. I'm going to respond to all your comments when I get a chance :)
Date: 07/26/10 01:02 pm Title: VI. Audience
i don't leave many reviews and i'm sorry for it, but i just wanted to say how much i enjoy this story. the world you built here is so complex and captivating and every new chapter leaves me dying for more. can't wait for the rest (:
Author's Response: I am awful about leaving reviews (I mean truly awful), so I completely understand. It means a lot that you took the time to tell me that you're enjoying the fic so far, and that you find the world interesting. I sometimes worry that it's a bit too complex with all the history and stuff, so it's validating to hear that you're still able to connect with it. Thank you so much!
Date: 07/26/10 12:48 pm Title: VI. Audience
What do they do to bill with this so call cleaning ritual? I need to know!
And poor bill, kept like a caged bird.
Author's Response: *pets poor Bill*
Date: 07/26/10 12:09 pm Title: VI. Audience
Wow, this is enthralling! Tracking!
And oh my god, Tom is definitely the bigger man here.
Author's Response: Loool yes, Tom certainly is :)
Date: 07/26/10 10:31 am Title: VI. Audience
Mmm this is so good! God I lo e this universe you have created...and the little bits of absolutism history you have incorperated!
Author's Response: Thank you! I've never written a story non-linearly like this (where I am constantly going back into memories and the past), so it's great to hear that you're liking it!
Date: 07/26/10 09:57 am Title: I. The Imposter
WOW! I really love this. It´s a really extraordinary story, makes me wantint to find out more about what you´ve created here ^__^
WOW! I´m VERY intrigued so far. And I have one question. Bill´s to remain pure? And what about his "relationship" with Andreas?
Author's Response: Thank you! Regarding Bill's purity, it's sort of an ongoing issue throughout the story, but in short, Bill is expected by most everyone to remain a virgin. His relationship with Andreas is purely platonic, very much like an owner and an animal. Hopefully that helps!
Date: 07/26/10 07:55 am Title: VI. Audience
I love this so much (:
Are you going to put the first verse in? I want to read it.
Author's Response: So happy to hear that :) And yes, the first verse is written out in a later chapter. It's a bit long and I didn't want to shove it down readers throats immediately lol. It makes me really happy that you're excited to read it--it's one of the reasons why I find writing this fic is so fun.
Date: 07/24/10 02:58 am Title: V. Celebration
Ok Clarebear, another winner! This is so rich with depth and beauty. I can actually see this story in my mind - and it's beautiful! Xoxoxoxo
Author's Response: Awww thank you :) This is a diff story than I usually write (meaning it has an actual plot lol), so I'm really glad the imagery is coming through for you! xoxo
Date: 07/22/10 05:25 pm Title: IV. Intruder
Reading this story is delightful! Your writing is so fluid and easy, it just sucks you right in. Really, I can't wait for the next chapter :)
Author's Response: Thank you! It truly means a lot that you mentioned the style with which this is written, because I'm having a lot of fun trying something new. So happy you're liking it so far!
Date: 07/22/10 10:08 am Title: IV. Intruder
I was so absorbed in this AU, please update soon.
*hurry to press the track button*
Author's Response: Glad you're liking it - thank you!
Date: 07/14/10 05:04 pm Title: III. Citysquare
cliffhangerrr! love it :) xo
Author's Response: lol I have a weakness for cliffhangers. Thank you!