Date: 04/30/23 09:45 pm Title: Prologue
I have left a review on other stories of yours, but wanted to say that I enjoyed this one too!
Date: 06/12/10 04:58 pm Title: Chapter 5
It's amazing! submissive Tom makes it really good:)
Author's Response: Thanks
Date: 11/15/09 05:13 am Title: Chapter 5
Aw, that was a sweet and sad little fic.
Poor Tom. ;-; I'm glad Bill was there for him. :]
Nice fic.
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it, especially since it was my first-ever fic.
Date: 07/14/09 04:41 pm Title: Chapter 5
This is great! I really love how you portrayed Sub-Tom. It's so rare to see, even in fics where Tom acts submissive, he's still usually Top. Great job!
Author's Response: Thanks...this was my first-ever fic...so I'm glad you liked it...and if you like sub-Tom where he's literllay the bottom...then check out my other fics...Tom's ALWAYS the bottom =) IDK why, but I have a kink for it.
Date: 05/14/09 11:02 am Title: Chapter 1
P-Please Bill. Don-don’t be mad. I need you to come get me. – whoa this is very sub-ie behavior already.
BMW 650i Cabrio – is this really a necessary detail?
Bill stopped when he found his brother’s Cadillac. He slammed on the brakes, unable to believe what he was seeing. Tom’s Cadillac, his pride and joy, was smashed to pieces. – whoa
Bill ran back to his car and drove down a bit more until he found a dark alley next to a cockroach-infested-looking motel. – yeah cause there’d only be one of those? I would be on the phone with my brother having him describe his surroundings.
He was afraid that if he opened his mouth to speak, he’d start sobbing. – ha ha
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity to the dread head, the twins reached the hotel. – how pray tell did he do that without the fans noticing? Why are they in a hotel but they have their cars? Why are they going to the hotel anyway? I wouldn’t be driving him to the hotel I would be driving him to the hospital. Tom could try a protest but he’s not really in the condition to fight back or walk away he wouldn’t have a choice.
Author's Response: Thanks for the critique...it was my first fanfic...I just let my mind wander with it, so I didn't really think out ALL the kinks. And, yes, the type of BMW was a necessary detail. I'm a bit of a car fanatic, so to me, knowing exactly the type of car is important.
Date: 05/12/09 06:47 pm Title: Prologue
Oh no Tom!!! *snickers*
Date: 03/29/09 10:13 pm Title: Prologue
I loved your story, the general idea of the story was really good although I think it could have been less rushed... but besides that it was great.
Author's Response: Thanks...and I agree with you (and several others) about it being rushed, but I couldn't really think of anything to fill in the void without people losing interest. I'm glad you liked it though. If I can come up with something I was considering doing a "missing chapter(s)" thing, but I don't know yet =)
Date: 02/04/09 05:05 pm Title: Prologue
Okay, so maybe I was a little bit... okey, a lot, like, really, really mean when I said it would make it alot better... but it would make it better... U can, for an example, tell more about; 1.How David reacted to the story... 2. Telling Georg and Gustav 3. nightmares and hallucination (ordinary after things like rape, and other traumatic things)4. Maybe Bill have to go shopping one day, and Tom is sleeping, and then he wakes up alone... 5. Tom when he's in the hospital, for a check up, and stuff, and then, when the doctor is going to chech his, ass, he panics (again XP)
Yeah, I don't have time to write more nau... But I have to tell you, before you hate me more than, eum, the plauge!
I 100% loved this story, the plot is lovely, and if it wasn't a bit rushed, and lacked of details(can't complain there, my stories have no details at all!) it would have ended in my faves... and only 2 stories have ended up there, and one is deleted*cries* well, night... Please, don't hate me...
Author's Response: I don't hate you. I was just curious as to your opinion. It was my first fic so I was unsure of how detailed to make it. I've read stories with too many details, so I wasn't sure how much to add. I'll keep your ideas in mind for another fic though. And I've never been around someone who has been sexually abused, so I don't know how they react most of the time, I just went with what I thought. rnrnOh, and thanks for liking my story, makes me happy =)
Date: 02/04/09 11:05 am Title: Chapter 5
I like the general idea for the plot - I'm surprised Tom hasn't been thumped by a jealous boyfriend more often , lol.
But it all felt a bit rushed. And Bill and Tom's relationship seemed to sudden.
I think you could have made the fic better by elaborating on their emotions and stuff.
Date: 02/04/09 06:33 am Title: Chapter 3
*giggles* GO MYSTERIOUS rescuer MAN!
Date: 02/04/09 05:18 am Title: Chapter 5
This story was really, really rushed! So, if you write a squeel, I hope it's what happened under those 3 months, you just jumped over... Those are the most important days/weeks, and it would make this story, a lot better...
Author's Response: I know it was kinda rushed. I couldn't come up with anything that would keep readers interested to fill in the months that the story skips over. So if you've any ideas on that, let me know and if I use them in a sequel I'll mention you in the chapter notes. And please elaborate on your last statement? How would it make the story alot better?
Date: 02/04/09 02:16 am Title: Chapter 5
the ending was beautiful.
I love how the whole chapter bill made tom feel so special and loved. the love scene was more sweet and gentle. I felt that you made the atmosphere feel fragile because it was so pure and delicate. I thought your first love scene was better than most you captured the longing for complete sense of belonging. it didn't have to be full out smutt just feel right for the character's feelings at the time and you accomplished that.
and if you have an another idea for this particular sequel I would love to read it. because you keep my intresting throughout this whole story. and I would love to see what happens to them afterwords and if tom has fully recovered on his self-worth.
Author's Response: I'd just like to thank you personally. Your reviews actually help. Most say it was too rushed or omg I can't wait for the next chapter. So thank you for giving me your opinion, I really appreciate it.
Date: 02/03/09 09:41 pm Title: Chapter 4
keep it comin!
Date: 02/03/09 08:09 pm Title: Chapter 4
wow you really know how to channel the rape victims perspective.
I don't think bill is rejecting tom he just thinking about what he said leting the words sink in. and the way tom said it. bill could be confused because he kind of said that he wants bill only because he sounded like he was settling with bill because he can't trust anyone else. so maybe tom didn't phrase it right for bill. he could think it's just the situation that's making tom say things he don't mean. bill could think it is just tom's scared to be alone and he don't really care for bill.
sorry analysizing everything but I really think that your story is getting better each time.
Author's Response: It's cool that you analyze it. You are actually right on. And thanks about it getting better. It's my first Tokio Hotel fanfic so I was a little worried that people wouldn't like it.
Date: 02/03/09 06:40 pm Title: Chapter 4
TO RUSHED!!!
Author's Response: I know...sorry...but I couldn't think of anything interesting to really write about and make into a chapter for during the six months it skips ahead. I've read too many stories where the author tries to fill in the blanks and it gets kind of boring and I didn't want to bore my readers with filler chapters.
Date: 02/03/09 06:23 pm Title: Chapter 4
Oh boy you update really quickly feels like yesterday I read the first chaper and now there is five YAY I love it, cant wait for the next update :)
Author's Response: That's because it's already finished and I just have to type it up on my computer. Every story I plan on posting I will have finished before I even post a first chapter. That way readers won't have to wait weeks adn weeks to find out what happens.
Date: 02/03/09 03:31 pm Title: Chapter 3
Did Bill just kick some ass? Love it!
Date: 02/03/09 03:21 pm Title: Chapter 3
cant wait for the next chappie!=D