Date: 09/23/10 12:16 pm Title: Chapter 1
that feels like theres gonna be a sequel. is there? could there be? i would love one. that was sooo good. you might consider re-reading this though and fixing some of the spelling and such though. it wasnt too bad but I'm finicky like that.
Date: 11/01/09 02:43 pm Title: Chapter 1
Wow, I really, really hate to say this, but I absolutely agree with Ying Fa and Spilled Milk. However, I hate leaving bad reviews so I hope you'll just see this as constructive criticism.
I just...I think you need a beta reader. Seriously. This had a lot of potential, it really did. You just really need to fix all those grammar and spelling mistakes.
*cringe*
Just get rid of those, tidy it up a bit, and I'm sure this would be at least 10 times better. :)
Date: 03/27/09 04:31 pm Title: Chapter 1
that was fucking messed up but i fucking loved it so erotic and i really like how you put yourself in Bill's place man you made tomi bad Lulz "i was nice meeting you, myname is Tom Kaulitz" just Gold.....
Date: 01/20/09 10:51 pm Title: Chapter 1
So it was all an act? Bill was totally terrified though.
Date: 01/17/09 05:15 pm Title: Chapter 1
I liked it!
It was rough, but kinda hot too.
I just adore the end!
Date: 01/17/09 11:16 am Title: Chapter 1
I think the story has some slight potential if you got a BETA READER and FIXED YOUR MISTAKES!
Mistakes can really just ruin a story. You had so so SO many it made me cringe every single time I came across one.
Also, it's very unrealistic, you clearly don't know very much about rape, but I guess not everyone researches to actually understand what they're writing about.
Overall, I just really wish you would fix all of your mistakes and have someone clean the mess up for you so it's at least readable.
Date: 01/16/09 08:56 pm Title: Chapter 1
I'm sorry, but that was prolly one of the grossest things i have ever read.
Not only are there terrible spelling and grammar errors throughout the fic, the use of the word 'cum' is so disgusting i just shudder every time i read it. The story is underdeveloped and immature. Also, its unrealistic. Even on drugs, a man cant possibly get it up that many times and come half as fast. And if Bill were truly frightened, he wouldnt be able to get hard himself. Even if the prostate is stimulated, i doubt he would go from burning pain to uncontrollable orgasm.
Sorry to leave a bad review, and i dont want to tip your cloud, but really.