Date: 02/17/09 02:25 am Title: Game Over?
So I have a question.
How on earth can a chapter that is so hot and intense, a chapter I've been waiting for for so damn long, have me bloody crying in here? Huh?
This was a perfect way to do this. I don't know if I feel absolutely broken for Bill (that scene with him falling apart in the shower is one of the saddest I've ever read) or whether I want to slap him hard. Tom, darling Tom just makes me cry :(
You did all good with the smut, trust me. I love this fic, I hope you know that by know, but I have to say that this chapter was the best one, it was so intense, you nailed both their feelings so well, and I'm really emotional right now. You did superbly with this, and with all the building up in the previous chapters and I'm sure from pressure you've probably put on yourself too, you should be so proud with how you executed this. One of the most touching things I've read in a while.
We're halfway through? This is getting so amazingly intense I probably won't make it till the end.
And I think you have every reason to be pissed. Those things you mentioned would tick me off a whole lot as well.
And no, I'm not just doing that to encourage you to be pissy and give us more long chapters. Of course I wouldn't.
Author's Response: Yes! Did I make you cry? I made parallelheartz cry. XP I was proud of myself. Yes I put intense pressure on myself for this chapter, it being my first real attempt at a sex scene. ._.; Yep, about halfway through. Plus the possibility of a sequel... XD
Date: 02/17/09 12:53 am Title: Game Over?
Oh, it was great first off and, poor Tomi. Awwww. Dammit, Bill, just dammit. That's just ridiculous, I can't believe him. He better fix this. Is it wrong that I wish Tom slapped him after the fact?
Author's Response: XD Yes, it is wrong, because it would make the next chapter make absolutely no sense. XP Though I can understand your point. But I think it adds to the emotion of the scene that Tom doesn't attack him, or even say anything to him at the end, because there's no release of tension. Which just adds to Bill's guilt level, mwahaha.
Date: 02/17/09 12:47 am Title: Game Over?
That was Amazing, my eyes hurt, I want more! the sex scene was good. better than what I am writing to say at the moment... The emotional torcher on Bill is horrible. I dont know why but it even Bugs me. and poor Tom, Heart broken. I hope things get better between them.
Author's Response: Of course things will get better between them! ^_^ It's a romance! And I promised a happy ending! ^_^
Date: 02/17/09 12:30 am Title: Game Over?
GIVE ME MORE!!!!!!!! NOW!!! Im so in love with your story give me me more!!!
Author's Response: XD I'll post more soon, don't worry!
Date: 02/17/09 12:23 am Title: Assumptions
Hey. I'm not reading your story, but your author's notes and a couple of review replies were brought to my attention by some site members, and I wanted to tell you to please watch what you say and how you say it. Your author's notes are very abrasive and inviting of all kinds of reviews. They're very demanding and rude, and it seems like you're looking for fights. Consider this a warning; please try and calm your tone down. We don't tolerate name-calling (for example, calling someone a bitch when they're offering you constructive criticism). This is a site for writing and reviewing. If you can't handle that, then you should not post here. Anyone is allowed to review your story, even if they haven't posted something of their own. And unless they are outright rude to you, as you have been in your author's note, then you have no reason to treat them the way you have.
Also, it is very tacky to demand that your readers feature your story, and then complain when it doesn't happen. You have enough reviews as it is. Most stories are featured because they are outstanding yet unnoticed by members of the site. They are featured so that they can get more attention.
Maybe your author's note shouldn't be as long as your story. I suggest you get a blog. It seems like you have a lot of stuff to say. This site is for sharing and improving writing, not breeding enormous egos.
Again, consider yourself warned. If we see this kind of behavior again, your account will be locked.
Author's Response: My sincerest apologies, I don't mean to be demanding and rude, and I believe that I am not, for the most part. I try not to be. That author's note was written when I was under a bit of stress, but I will delete anything offensive from it immediately. The review response in question was also written in a moment of rash impulsiveness brought on by anger, which I should have had better control of, and I apologize for that and anything rude I said, because I truthfully did regret saying it after I had posted it. On your other points I believe you are being slightly unfair. I have never demanded to be featured. I mentioned that it would be awesome if it did happen, AFTER it had been suggested to me by more than one person. And I also apologize because it truly did not occur to me that there was a popularity limit involved, I sincerely believed that it was based upon the story's merit alone. As to the length of my author's notes, I don't have a blog (one that I use anymore anyway) because I really don't care about the people who read it. I DO care about my readers, however, and believe it is important for me to connect with them on a more personal level than simply 'author- and- reader' which is why I do write my excessively long author's notes (I am quite aware of my author's notes being excessively long) and make an effort to reply to every review. Personally I love reading other people's author notes and getting an insight to the person behind the story that a bio alone cannot provide, I am always disappointed when I don't see any author's notes on a story. In turn, I have never gotten a complaint about the length of said notes, I have actually had several people tell me that they enjoy reading them, or that my author's notes are the only ones they bother reading on this site. If my need to connect with people offends you, then I apologize for that, but since you don't read this story anyway, then this shouldn't be a problem. Also, I shall make an endeavor not to exhibit rude behavior to any more reviewers, which shouldn't be a problem, since this has caused me to adopt a new way of looking at things. Thanks for that~ And thank you for taking the time to point out my error when I had forgotten myself and said things I shouldn't.
Date: 02/17/09 12:19 am Title: Game Over?
haha well its a truthful compliment! wah, meanie for psyching me out! >< haha but i forgive u for not ending the story! ooh, you think i could have ur email so maybe we could talk more and not in reviews since you have so many to reply to? mines porzelandoll@gmail.com
Author's Response: Hehe, I've been wanting to psyche people out with my fake- ending chapter practically since I began this story. My email is misa.sugar@yahoo.com
Date: 02/16/09 11:45 pm Title: Game Over?
Urgh!!! Stupid Bill!!!!!!! But such an amazing story!!!!! I'm sorry you've had a bad week, mine's been craptastic too!! >.< But I hope my review that says, "You're amazing and deserve ten bags of tasty chocolate because this story is AMAZING and I love gettin an update!!!" makes you feel a little better... XD
Author's Response: Aw, sorry to hear that! And thanks for your support!
Date: 02/16/09 10:53 pm Title: Game Over?
Ah, he's such a dick.
But Tom knew what he was getting himself into.
*shakes head* Great chapter, though. I wouldn't mind if Tom gave him a bit of 'what for.' xDD
Hope your day gets better!
Author's Response: Good call. Tom did know what he was getting himself into. I was tempted to make Bill say something along those lines, but decided against it. And while Bill definitely deserves the 'what for' Tom's not going to give it to him. Misa has other plans... Mwahahahaha...
Date: 02/16/09 10:42 pm Title: Game Over?
TOMMMMMMMMMMM
=((((
the sex scene was fine btw.
OMGOSHH TOMMMMM
lol.
thats all i can think right noww.
and BILLL.
needs to stopp denyingg that he has a hearttt :PP
Author's Response: Yeah, poor Tom, poor Bill... Bill is human, he just won't admit it. XD
Date: 02/16/09 10:42 pm Title: Game Over?
Oh gawd. Saying the end nearly gave me a heart attack. There's more I must know!!
Like why is bill being such an ass.
Author's Response: XD Haha, psyche! Yeah, there's lots more. Bill is an ass because he's a stubborn idiot who is in denial and refuses to accept the truth.
Date: 02/16/09 10:39 pm Title: Game Over?
mein got!! My stomach hurts!!, and my heart torned apart, I soo sad!!! I just can'd wait to know what0s Tom going to do about Bill? My dark side says that he tries to kill himself and hurt Bill so fucking much.
Ah, you know how much a hate him, right? XD
I can't wait for the next chapter, and... screw that people, honey, I'm not even writing an story in this page, because English isn't my natal, but I have experiencie in this, and belive a lot of thing just hurt, yeah "feature" must be so wonderful but, is it as important as you think? You have a lot people that read you and review you, so, what's the matter?
Calm down, it's not the end XDD and I really hate Bill.
Kissus
Author's Response: No, Tom does not attempt suicide. Nor does he take revenge on Bill. In fact, Tom is a fucking SAINT. Seriously, he is. No it's like, 'feature' is to me what Tom is (was?) to Bill. The final conquest. Only I won't be a bitch and leave this story to cry while I go take a shower. XD I just want to prove to myself that I can do it.
Date: 02/16/09 10:38 pm Title: Game Over?
I
Love
it
Author's Response: Thank you~ ^_^
Date: 02/16/09 10:09 pm Title: Game Over?
love this chapter a lots. tons of emotions flowing.
Author's Response: Yes, this chapter had a lot of emotional conflict and angst, and made me happy. XD
Date: 02/16/09 10:03 pm Title: Game Over?
that was a smexy and such a powerful chapter. tom really did have some feelings for bill beside lust. i feel what tom is going through. bill is a meanie, but a good character :D. thank u for such a great chapter-made my day muy muy better.
Author's Response: Glad you mentioned that Tom had feelings for Bill, I don't know if know one's noticed that or no one's mentioned it, but it IS there. Glad I made your day better! ^_^
Date: 02/16/09 09:45 pm Title: Game Over?
Dude that has to be the cruelest thing ive ever read. I cant believe Bill would do that, well maybe a little lolz. Update soon hun, and dont be mad about those people, they wern't worth your dedication anyway. People luv you u no matter what, if they were true fans they would have read and saw the dedication. Well update soon luv, hearts
Author's Response: That's the thing, I think she DID read it, and just didn't bother to say anything. >< Oh well, whatever. Update eventually, with more angst, and then some fluff, haha. XD
Date: 02/16/09 09:31 pm Title: Game Over?
**sniffle sniffle**
That... sad! Poor tomi. D:
It's still an amazing story. :]
Author's Response: I like this emotional agony. I think it improves the story, gives it meaning more than just smut. XP
Date: 02/16/09 09:13 pm Title: Game Over?
oh my gosh..... that is so mean..... i am so upset at slutty bill right now... how could he do that to tom? doesnt he know tom loves him? tom gave up his morals for him and what does bill do?!?!?!? crush him..... but i still love slutty bill.... oh and the sex scene was good i think..... not to shabby..... anyway laterz...
Author's Response: He did it on purpose BECAUSE Tom loves him. If Tom didn't care, this wouldn't have happened. ^_^; And thanks, I'm glad the sex scene was okay.
Date: 02/16/09 09:12 pm Title: Game Over?
I'm sorry you're a little upset. Cheer up soon, it's a very nice chapter you have here.
This scene was definitely worth waiting for! 12 chapters and coming down to this. *_*
but ;____; poor Tomi.
Author's Response: I'm doing better now. Told you I'd be okay. ^_^ Yeah, and we're only halfway through! Don't worry, I shall fix things... ^_^
Date: 02/16/09 09:11 pm Title: Game Over?
OMG! I think I am in the same mood as you.
I am about really to kill someone.
I kinda feel sorry for Bill... =(
Author's Response: XD Yeah, I know, right? I just ripped a reviewer a new one... ._.; He/she kinda had it coming, in my book, though... <_<; And THANK GOD, at least ONE person feels sorry for Bill. Everyone's like, "I feel sorry for Tom! I hope he gets revenge!' And I'm like, "Dude, Bill's going through shit too... And no, Tom doesn't get revenge for this..." XD
Date: 02/16/09 09:09 pm Title: Game Over?
MisaMisaPepperoniPizza,
you make me wanna LA-LA! Just letting you know.
Your sex scene: AMAZING, though(and I have a problem with this too) It would have been nicer,longer. x].
Your characterization: AMAZING. Though Bill was cruel and I hate him right at the moment, and I probably wont have nice dreams about him tonight, it was nessicary and I see that.
Tom: Poor Tom, I see his pain. Like you make me want to turn into an Emo kid and cut, and just might after reading this.
Their Love:...is so broken, and I can't wait to see you patch it up! Seriously... I can't!
b29;
most def.
and just letting you know I think I have fallen in love with you!
Oh, and your little... one shot thing... exerpt from Sex Ed. is comming in like three days.
Haha! I hope you'll like it!
Imma try and Feature this story NOW, and I want you to know this is the first time I've tried to feature.
This story is just that good!
xoxo, Russia
Author's Response: Sorry, it's hard to make a long sex scene, but you'll be happy to know that the entire second chapter of Agent Provocateur is sex. XD When we ever get it up, that is... Yeah, their love is kind of dysfunctional... And yay, fallen in love with me? ^_^ Three days? ._.; And yay, thank you! ^_^