Date: 02/08/09 01:37 am Title: {11}- Accident
omg so sadd!!!! :'( ash!!!!....now make somethign good happen!!! *sweet smile* please?
Author's Response: -ponders- MAYBE!!! Maybe not. You'll have to wait! But i'm so happy u got ur computer and got to read this! That makes me uber happy! GET BETTER!
Date: 02/06/09 09:54 pm Title: {11}- Accident
longer! lovely! i always look forward to stories like this, particularly since i don't have to wait forever between updates. the reactions were a little.....bland and fast....i've suffered loss of family members before, and it isn't just crying. and the accident should have a somewhat diffrent reaction. for an accident, it's initial shock, you're kinda out of it, not crying, panicked, worried, wide eyed.
she'd probably call devan rather than stop, let alone run accrost a road. in a turing point like this, bringing the feelings accrost and letting the reader feel them as well is VERY important. if it's blunt, lifeless, without the cliff hanger feeling, you don't get as nervious.
for death.
the police were fairly good, but more detail.
steps of emotions- shock and staring, usually openmouthed, disbeleaf, denial, bottom lip quivering, then droping to knees, blubbering, colpasing on the floor-ness and all out crying like someone just took your soul.
otherwise, great, keep it up!
Author's Response: Thank you. Yeah, i've had family die too, but it was when i was really little, so my reaction was different, and i was super close to him. But i was also a child. I dont really know how to portray death. But I will keep this in mind if i decide to do another death again. Thanks.
Date: 02/06/09 09:48 pm Title: {11}- Accident
awqw :'( poor tom. make it tragic but not tragic for devin like i like the fact that bill has warmed up 2 him so dont loose that in your story. lol it was FABOULUSH
Author's Response: I didnt realize that Bill had, but yeah, I guess he did huh?! its all in good fun! thank you so much!
Date: 02/06/09 10:18 am Title: {11}- Accident
i almost...almost cried
Author's Response: just... just almost? I sorry!!! DONT HATE ME!
Date: 02/05/09 10:10 pm Title: {11}- Accident
OMG -tears- WHY!!! T.T
YAY for Devin ... :D and yeah ...
Author's Response: it is something that had to happen! and yes! Devin is amazing!
Date: 02/05/09 09:50 pm Title: {11}- Accident
Aww, so sad. Tom didn't deserve to lose his parents and sister. *sniffles*
You should have warned to have a tissue handy.
Author's Response: Lol, i should have. Did you really cry? Im sorry! I really am! and no he didnt, but it all works out
Date: 02/05/09 09:48 pm Title: {11}- Accident
OMFG>>plz update soon.....thx=] i uvz u and this
Author's Response: lol.. i will!
Date: 02/05/09 09:34 pm Title: {11}- Accident
omg ok so i know i like to say you should kill so and so off but DAMN!!! this one can right out of nowhere and omg this chapter is so sad poor tom *hug tom* and Julie too *hug her to*
Author's Response: Lol. Im glad Im not kill worthy lol. And yeah. I needed to bring MORE drama in!!! lol.
Author's Response: Lol. Im glad Im not kill worthy lol. And yeah. I needed to bring MORE drama in!!! lol.
Date: 02/05/09 09:27 pm Title: {11}- Accident
OH NO! That's so terrible they died. I really hope she can get custody of both boys *frets*
Author's Response: HEEHEE! that makes me think i should have done a poll, but maybe not! Thanks for reviewing!
Date: 02/05/09 09:25 pm Title: {11}- Accident
Huh... WHy am I supposed to hate you??? It's sad but i don't hate you for killing Tom's parents. Dude come on... sheesh. Good chapi. Keep it up
Author's Response: I hate myself for killing his parents AND A BABY! GOSH!!!! but, thank you!! I'll keep writing
Date: 02/05/09 09:24 pm Title: {11}- Accident
T_T T_T T_T omg...hon...like...there are no words...there just aren't...amazing chapter...and...-sniffles- luv it; honestly
Author's Response: lol.. DANKE SHUNE! I love u guys!
Date: 02/05/09 12:28 pm Title: {10}- Not as planned
georg should be a sweet guy, but kinda shy at first
Author's Response: Lol, Let's see!
Date: 02/05/09 11:28 am Title: {10}- Not as planned
Aww i so love ur story & love when ur Tomi is all protective ^^
So today seems to be DA day :p I review ^^
Georg? A gOOOOOd guy for sure :p Yeah coz he's... Georg, nope? ^^
&... Where's Gusti? =)
Anyway, good job girl, thats gr8! Bye!
Author's Response: AH! as far as Gusti goes, its just one step at a time. Yeah, my tomi is the prtective kind. Im glad you took the time to review! I'm hit and miss with reviewing too! And Geo, well, we'll just have to see!!
Date: 02/04/09 09:10 pm Title: {10}- Not as planned
More!
Author's Response: Lol.. ok!
Date: 02/04/09 09:03 pm Title: {10}- Not as planned
lol update plzz
Author's Response: Im going to start workn tomorrow!
Date: 02/04/09 03:19 pm Title: {10}- Not as planned
i think georg should be like a funny, but also a protector for tom and bill when they need it.
Author's Response: Hm, i like that... We'll just have to see though!
Date: 02/04/09 01:17 pm Title: {10}- Not as planned
sweet guy!
Author's Response: lol.. Alright.. Read up on the next ch for the answer!
Author's Response: lol.. Alright.. Read up on the next ch for the answer!
Date: 02/04/09 09:45 am Title: {10}- Not as planned
of course a sweet guy to get along
bill and tom already suffered enough dont you think??
xDD
Author's Response: No, not yet.. maybe.. IM NOT TELLING!
Date: 02/04/09 04:09 am Title: {10}- Not as planned
georg has to be sweett its georg after all ^-^
Author's Response: hehe... We'll have to see!!!
Date: 02/04/09 02:04 am Title: {10}- Not as planned
I vote for sweetie pie. Anyways, I love this story. I was really skeptical on reading this, but Im so glad I did!
Author's Response: Well, I'm deffinetly glad you did! I know I have my prefrences in stories too! danke!