Date: 04/20/12 08:38 pm Title: Kiss me
Ok, so the simple concept of the story is sweet. And I like the moments in time you chose. However, to me, the story doesn't seem very well executed. There are many bits that are too repetitive, and many times I wished you were more subtle, and I wished throughout that you had let your characters explain their feelings more instead of narrating "They this" and "they that"... if u get my drift. The story is beautiful, if only you had kept it more simple. Focus on the moment they're in and what they're feeling through their actions. No need to repeat the lyrics. Just them holding hands or maybe Tom brushing Bill's hair away from his face, little actions like that speak volumes.
Anyways, next time will be better, right? :) Well done. This was a good start. :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much for this! It's a very very long time since I wrote it, so I had to read it through first, and I do see what you mean :) I think if you read one of my more recent stories, you will maybe see that it's not like that anymore :) Maybe, I don't know if it's true or if it's just me imagining things :P But thank you so much for telling me this! I'll be more observant for this next time :) And thank you again :)
Date: 06/03/09 03:33 am Title: Kiss me
That was so sweet. I loved it.
Author's Response: Awww thank you so much!
Date: 02/23/09 07:29 am Title: Kiss me
Aaaaw, I love it!!
xx Chi ^^
Author's Response: Thank yooooo so much!!!!
Date: 01/05/09 01:37 pm Title: Kiss me
Awww this was so sweet, honey. Not that I would have expected anything less from you. I loved it. *hugs* Thanks for sharing. :)
Author's Response: Aww glad that you liked it! Aww you are too sweet sugar! I'm so glad you did;D You're welcome!
Date: 01/05/09 12:50 pm Title: Kiss me
That is so beautiful! Your such a good writer I will favorite! =] xxx
Author's Response: Awww thank you! Awwww *heart swell* thank you so much! <3
Date: 01/05/09 12:04 pm Title: Kiss me
I think there are two ways possible for me to review this story.
The first one is very, very calm and reasonable: I found this story immensely sweet, so cute that it was nearly heartbreaking, I felt every single word in my chest; definitely powerful. :)
Then the hysterical one...
This is so cuteeee!!! OMG I so LOVED IT, it was just TOO, TOO, TOO sweet!! I was like, AWWWWWWWWW all the time!!!! :D
Ooooh my, I won't surely forget about this story!! :'D
*coughs*
Moral: I liked it, I more than liked it, :). It was so full of fluff! Very touching, that's the exact way to describe it, for all I've felt while reading, :)
Can't wait to see your next long fic then ;)
Kiss kiss.
Author's Response: OMG! You made me laugh and smile and wanna cry at the same time! This is so sweet of you! Lol, i like the hysterical one ;D but also the first, very calm and reasonable;D lol. I'm so glad that you liked it that much! It makes my 15 year old heart swell with love and the lust of writing more! I can't wait to post the first chappie! It's gonna be like nothing i've ever done before, so i hope that ya all like it! *blows kiss back* Lol, thank you so much for your very nice review!