Date: 01/02/09 12:32 am Title: Chapter 11
He walked up the street. The glass was still there on the sidewalk as was a shriveled rose pedal. – I like that this keeps getting mentioned…a nasty day that won’t go away because the evidence is something that he can see.
"He was airlifted last night, we thought we lost him... – Nice add some drama…this story was getting to boring anyway right?! *winks* There wasn’t enough drama in it!
Author's Response: I'm begining to love your reviews! I know the story is kinda boring but it will get better!! I'm one of those people who hate having the charaters fall in love in like the first three chapters... But anyways thanks again for reviewing!
Date: 01/02/09 12:22 am Title: Chapter 10
"I never expected you to forgive me. Not at all. I don't blame you. But I knew you would listen. You always did..." Tom spoke softly in a hushed tone. "I don't need to be forgiven Andreas but I do need to know that you heard my apology." – very eloquently put Tom!
"I have missed you though. Ya know seeing you with Georg and Gustav everyday, it was hard. You were my best friend, not theirs."
"I am your best friend and your mine." Tom – how did the really smart kid and the really dumb kid become best friends in the first place?
Author's Response: Haha, Ya know I guess i never put how they became friends... Maybe thats an idea for a later chapter... Thanks for reviewing!
Date: 01/02/09 12:14 am Title: Chapter 9
Tom needed Andreas though – I like that. He needs Andreas.
Andreas took it all in silence. He didn't have any other friends other then Tom, so when Tom went, the group they hung out with, went as well. – nicely written, make me hurt for Andreas more.
He hesitated as he stared at the doorbell. It wasn't to late to turn back. Tom exhaled deeply, he'd came this far, why turn back now? – Tom is either very brave or very stupid. He’s putting himself out there to people who he’s hurt very badly. People who he’s done major damage to. *frowns* Hum?!
Author's Response: YAY! I loves when people give me insight to how they view my story! Thankies!
Date: 01/02/09 12:07 am Title: Chapter 8
"He should make a full recovery." Tom tensed. 'Should' – they’re never super positive in the hospital that way they don’t give false hopes.
"Don't feel bad. It's not your fault he's here." –oops yeah it is.
Clank. – I like that you use noise to break up the chapters. It’s different I like it.
Yeah, Tom partly wished that would happen but this was real life, it wasn't a crappy made horror movie. – yeah it is but he’s the potential killer. Oi!
Tom needed Andreas... – I thought you might bring him into this…wasn’t sure but it sounds like a good idea to me.
Author's Response: Ohhh! I loves how you made the connection to the movie killer and Tom. Thats something wasn't even thinking about! Thanks for the awesome reviews again!
Date: 01/01/09 11:59 pm Title: Chapter 7
Hum that shop?! I feel like there’s something there, like it’s going to be important but I’m not sure how or why?
There was one slight difference though, Bill was breathing; by himself. – yeah!
Little did Tom know, on the bed, a boy listened patiently. He listened to this stranger's words and wished he could will himself to open his eyes. He wished he could see the face of this man who kept repeating himself. – NICE! *nods head* Nice!
Author's Response: Perhaps the shop will have some signifigance later on.............. No one knows....... haha
Date: 01/01/09 11:51 pm Title: Chapter 6
Mmmhhh naked Tom!
Nice parallel Andreas and Bill not having friends. I like that one is past and one is present.
I like that we're seeing everything...there's no time skips yet we're just seeing everything through Tom's eyes.
Author's Response: I'd like Tom in MY bathroom haha. Yeah I kinda went for the whole going on the adventure with Tom thing. Me no likey time skips...
Date: 01/01/09 11:42 pm Title: Chapter 5
these hands had the power to end a life. Tom didn't like that power so much... His hands shook. – powerful words.
Only because Tom is breaking can you get away with making him so open, other wise you couldn't...so it's a really good use of the breakdown...well done.
Author's Response: Yeah Tom's a little Out of Charater but that's because he is changing so it makes it all okays! Thanks again for the reviews!
Date: 01/01/09 11:33 pm Title: Chapter 4
"I di-didn't know Bill had any friends." – oh pathetic Bill. No friends?
His own name weighted a ton and Tom could feel the silent tears fall down his face. – good description…I can feel Tom’s stress, worry, and fear.
I can’t believe their reaction?! Wow…special family.
"He's alive." The man glared at Tom, his eyes saying everything his mouth didn't. His eyes were accusing. – subtle, nice!
he walked toward the exit, away from the smell of death. – yes hospitals smell like death to me too!
Tom didn't feel strong, he used too. – good line!
****
Hey watch out I keep finding lines where you swtich from present to past tense...keep an eye on that and make sure you stick to one.
Author's Response: Oh Thank you! If you find them can you let me know? Sometimes I rush to get these out and don't go over them very good... You're slowly becomeing one of my favorite reviewers haha.
Date: 01/01/09 09:32 pm Title: Chapter 18
this is amazing. you have real writing talent and you could really go far with it
Author's Response: Whee! That makes me happy! I've kinda always thought my talents were mediocre at best but I'm glad people loves my stories!!!! Thanks for reviewing!
Date: 01/01/09 05:21 pm Title: Chapter 3
Nice I like that Tom is torturing himself by going to see Bill. Bill's parents are going to FREAK when they find out that Tom's the one who broke Bill AND he's coming to visit!
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing ^_^
Date: 01/01/09 05:15 pm Title: Chapter 2
I like that the information about his "crime" is given to us slowly. That we are aware that he's done something bad but you don't tell us specificallly. I guessed he'd hit Bill but it was nice to discover it slowly as Tom was processing the information.
Author's Response: YaY! I loves reviewers like you who acutully talk about what they like/dislike ^-^ Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Date: 01/01/09 04:51 pm Title: Chapter 1
Awesome start. Very well written. I'm intrigued and very interested.
Author's Response: Squee! I'm glad you like it thanks again for the reviews
Date: 01/01/09 04:03 pm Title: Chapter 18
Luvzz. Update soon hun. =)
Author's Response: I wills!
Date: 01/01/09 04:28 am Title: Chapter 18
Very good chapter!
There's one thing I'd like to ask of you. Please no more of these *He was not gay. He could not have these feelings! This wasn't right... * sentences. I beg you. This is meant to be constructive criticism, so I hope you won't get offended, but such sentences always make me cringe, almost all the stories here have them and believe me, there are a lot better ways to express Tom's confusion.
There. I said it.
Please don't get offended. I love this story to bits. Except...you know. :)
Author's Response: Okay! THanks you! I actully appreciate constructive criticism and your the first one to give it me, so I thanks you *bows* Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Date: 01/01/09 01:53 am Title: Chapter 1
SUGAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author's Response: Haha, sugar rushes....
Date: 01/01/09 01:25 am Title: Chapter 1
yes, i am hyper cos i drunk off of non alcoholic champagne..at least tats wat my mommi told me it was....
Author's Response: Haha you sound like my cousin, who will probably call here in bout an hour laughing off her ass and telling me that her mom spiked their non-alcoholic champagne... She does it every year but she just gets sugar rushes... Hehehe
Date: 01/01/09 01:01 am Title: Chapter 18
um.... its so short, more soon please >.<
Author's Response: More is on the way. New chapie tonight or tomorrow... Thanks for reviewing ^-^
Date: 01/01/09 12:22 am Title: Chapter 18
yes, andi is rite.
wait, i thought he told his dad he was gay in like, the first or second chappie. ah well, all this non alcoholic champagne is gettin to me. ^^
HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!! *sees wine* O_O *and makes toast*
no alcohol for me!! i get drunk off the fake stuff!!!!
OMG!!! PHANTOM OF THE OPERA IS PLAYIN!!!!!!!
update and u can pet billa!!!! (my kitty)
Author's Response: No he didn't tell his dad he's gay... not yet at least. Happy New Years! Thanks for reviewings!
Date: 01/01/09 12:15 am Title: Chapter 17
wallowing in self pity can be fun...okay not really but, eh?
YEA!!! I KNEW SHAKING BILLA WOULD DO SOME GOOD!!!! *flatline*oops, that wasn't billa
*skoot* RUUUN!!!
OMG!!! THAT WAS GEO?!?!?!?!?! *strangles and chops into teeny tiny little pieces* MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
*HEY!* oops,WHY DO I KEEP GETTING THE WRONG GUY?! *headdesk while running* yes, i do carry a portable desk around with me. ^^
d:)
Author's Response: It's okay sometimes I carry random shit around to beat myself with too haha jk. Thanks for the reviews again!
Date: 01/01/09 12:08 am Title: Chapter 16
O_O
Author's Response: Reviews is golden... Even something small like this =]