Simone's head snapped away from the boys and Bill took the opportunity to snuggle his hand a bit closer into Tom's overly large shirt. The action didn't go unnoticed by Tom and he grinned. - *grins and squelches up nose*

"Yes, today actually." The doctor said turning back to Bill as she unbound the very things that had kept him alive for the past ten days. – awesome wordage…unbinding the things that kept him alive, nice! Grammar thing…yes, today actually(comma)” (lowercase t) the doctor….it’s the same sentence not a new one.

"Today?" Simone's smile spilled everything as she glanced at her son, - awkkkkwwwward!! "Today?" Simone’s face showed her every emotion as she glances at her son,

Fear that he's never going to see Bill again. – tense issue… Fear that he would never see Bill again.

Tom's lips were set in a firm line, biting back a full on puppy dog look. - *snorts* aaahhh aha ha so funny.

That in which laid the problem – beta….Which is where the problem laid.

Bill after all, was a minor; Tom was not. – ok I’m a sociopath ok here take a look at this chart and it should help you decided on some details…http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm

Why is Simone with Jorg anyway? I think since Simone is such an important character you should give her some more depth. Right now she’s just a puppet which is fine but she’s nearly as important as Tom and Bill. If you don’t want to give her depth then back her off of the story. Because she’s ending up super Marysue right now, perfect caring mom who does everything she can for her son.

You might switch back to Andreas he was not a marysue character he might be able to help Tom and not be “perfect,” remember make them act like real people, they can be nice, they can be mean, they react badly, they sympathize because they also feel the same way or have had similar experiences.

he didn't want to install false hope upon his boyfriend – I think it might be hard to install false hope…how about instill, ha ha ha

His eyes were closed tightly as the tears escaped anyways. – nice line!

Oh and I think that it’s time that Tom is ok with Bill being a boy. You could keep referencing that if Bill were a girl then blah blah blah, but because he was Bill it was all good. But I wouldn’t do that too much. I would say things like “it just felt so natural” until you think he’s fully excepted it and is ok with it. Until he doesn’t think it’s weird. Cause you know he doesn’t think it’s wrong just different. And he just has to get used to it.

Author's Response: I'm working on giving Simone a bit more charater, that will probably take effect a little more once Bill is out of the hospital. Andreas is going to make a reapparence. He's probably going to come back into the next chapter. Thanks for the beta (like always XD) And the awesome-tastic-uber-cool-golden review! =]

Wow... This chapter... Was so... Strong o.o
Loved it! I'm at the verge of tears! ;_;
Jesus Christ... I really, really, really love the way you write... It's just so fuckin' unbelievable... :o
Oh, and I hope your friend is okay! :)

Author's Response: Hehe Thanks =] I like movational reviews like this XD

Awwww! Poor bbs! :(


*pets*

Author's Response: Thanks for the review =]

*Tears dripping down face* Wow... how the hell are they going to fix all of this... i can't even begin to fathom but I trust that you know so keep it up and no more hospitals for you :P

Author's Response: Haha it will resolve it's self in time *nods* Thanks for the reviews =]

Oh my god! This fiction really broke my heart.. This is so.. so sad, but still it's happy U know. And oh my god I almost cried.
Oh I hope U write more soon. Will u? I really don't know how this website works so I'm not sure do I make myself look like a fool sometimes x3
But oh well this is so beautiful, this story

Author's Response: Most certainly I'll write more! Thanks for the review!

OMG I LOVE YOU FOR UPDATING!
i'm so fuckin' in love with this!

Pleaseee do something extra like the life after bills recovery or something!!
i love this!!

Author's Response: More is on the way, I don't know when because my computer crashed and I have to reinstall everything but more is too come! Thanks for the review.

i thought u wer gonna update evrything this weekend. update this story! its fucking amazing!

Author's Response: I know I'm getting there XD thanks for the review.

"HEL-" Bill was cut off as Georg rammed his elbow into Bill's jaw. - Nice violence!

"Please stop..." Bill's quiet pleas went unanswered as Georg walked over to him and pried his arms from his knees. – very pathetic…someone’s been reading ImNu!!!! I can smell her influence! Have you started reading Poor Baby or is it Transmogrified?

opened his mouth to say something, but instead he was pushed against the wall and Georg shoved his cock down his throat. – ha ha awesome! *claps* sorry I have a bit of a thing for violence!

Tom tried to re-approach the boy but was met with a harsh slap to the face. – nice he bites the hand that feeds him!

"Why?" Tom wanted to know everything about Bill. He was a love stricken; obsessed teenage boy, what other explanation was there? – nice emphasis on EVERYTHING!

Simone knew it would break Tom's heart if he found out She had grouped him with all those people who intentionally tried to break Bill. – capital she? Or is it a missing period?

Bill raised his good hand and pointed to Tom's cheek. Tom understood that Bill was trying to say sorry. "This?" Tom put a hand against his cheek. Simone watched the two boys interact. "It's okay." – cute!

Tom was using all his will power notto touch Bill, he had resorted to pressing his fingers together in a pathetic last attempt to resist temptation. – space between not and two….cute! nice description I feel Tom’s pathetic need! Ha ha

Simone smiled slightly, they thought she didn't know. – I love what she see!!!

No, he marched to a beat all his own and perhaps that's what drew Tom to the dark haired angel in the first place. – I like this for all of it’s implications!

Ok this is the last bit of drama you get to add for a while! It worked. I approve! I had semi similar ideas when I gave you the idea for the foster kid but I knew that you would take it where you willed it to go, I knew it would work out. I only give you huge bits for parts of the story I’m not sure you’ve though out or for places where I see big holes that I’m not sure you’ve filled.

Well done! *nods* you’re doing well. The reason why the abuse works, and why I’m not all up in arms about drama is that isn’t exactly new drama, it’s an explanation for the past. We have always know that Georg was after Bill but this explains why he’s after him now. *frowns* get it I’m not sure if I’m talking my self in cirles or being clear as glass…

Loves ISA!

Author's Response: I Acutually read The Afeard Dystopia of Dolls and Distate,I haven't read her other work but I will ^-^ oops the capital was a mistake... Well I still thank you for the foster kid idea and Thanks for the always-awesometastical-golden reviews!

YAY UPDATE!!

I, yet again, LOVED this chapter!
The emotions are so powerful, you cannot believe how beautiful this is.

I really hope you update more soon!

Author's Response: More is coming, loves the reviews, like always XD

:D

I don't really know what else to say xD

Author's Response: Haha Thanks for the review!