You want to be torn into? *smiles* ok great!

I was always so weak. – good starting line!

The slightest breeze of the cold, dark night sent me shivering and freezing to no end. The worst nights were those when the window is left open, making the wind blow within with all its glory. There was no mercy when the wind blew with fury. – you switched tenses the previous sentence is present tense the following sentence is past…choose one.

The slightest forlorn moments of childish Disney movies made me cry and sob to my breaking point. – ha ha

Girls would be in a small circle in the hallway and they’d giggle as I passed by. – girls are bitches!!! OMG

I always gave in to my emotions. I never knew how to control them.
That’s what made me weak.
Yes, I was weak.
But I was never afraid. – this is good the spacing between the lines gives each line emphasis remember to not over use this.

chaste – good use of vocabulary!

soft kisses on any areas of my exposed skin: soothing my broken soul. – broken soul good…the ambiguity of the kisses *eehh* tell us where he gets kissed and edit the sentence a little “soft kiss on my exposed skin, the crook of my neck, my wrist, the back of my hand, my furrowed brows.” this is option but it can make this part more intimate.

calming my furious being – calming my rage…furious being make him sound…funny.

You were everything and anything I needed you to be. You were everything and anything I loved. -nice

People always asked me why I loved you so much. They always asked me what was so special about you. – I do like the ambiguity of this you ( I don’t think you have) told us who these people are specifically it could be Georg and Gustav for all I know. *grins*

Whenever I could never sense you near – woah awkwardy phrased!

I felt like a fish out of water, gasping desperately in an attempt to breathe. – good imagery but also past/present issue here as well

Nothing ever felt right when you’re not around. – perfect example of present past tense confusion…the first part says past, the second part says present. See what I mean?

People we knew thought I was mentally ill; bipolar to be specific.
I’d be living in hell one moment, then soaring into heaven the next. – woah lets not make him sound crazy.

They only realized my high during this one time when Mom and Dad had a party at home for Mom’s cousin or something. – this one time at band camp…*shake head* be specifically ambiguous ha ha. They only realized my high during a party for Mom’s cousin.

I couldn’t pick out your essence from the crowds. – a bunch of people together is not a bunch of crowds it’s one crowd but they could be clusters and groupings of people.

I immediately scooted closer and hid my face in your neck, clutching onto your shirt for dear life. – I don’t’ know that I would have made it a family gathering. I think you can hide more in a party with strangers they don’t expect you to behave or play the roles which they’ve always seen you in.

Since then, relatives kept telling me how happy I looked when you were near and how devastated I seemed when you weren’t. – I might have left this one out…you’ve more then prove this; it doesn’t need to be stated.

I was always broken when you weren’t around but my pieces seemed to fit and mend when you were.
I never smiled without you. These last two lines are good!

Well done!

There you go an overly commented on oneshot.

Author's Response: Wow. You are an amazing reviewer and con-critic. x) I love it! Thank you soooooo much for the con-crit. Forgive my extreme errors of past and present tense use. I've always had a problem with that. :p Twisting words around is also a huge prob of mine. I overly elongate sentences. Which is a big flaw of mine. I also tend to exaggerate the simplest of things. Dunno why though... ): But, really, thank you SOOOO much for the majorly awesome review. English is not my first language but I don't think that's an excuse for my amazingly abundant mistakes. Btw, you're one of my fave authors and 'Captive' is of the few fics I actually bother to read still. So, you have no idea how much it means to me that you gave me this slawsome comment. :DDD

I thourght it was really good ^-^ you got the emotion across well, cant wait to read more from you :D

Author's Response: Really?! I'm glad I was able to do that! That's like my dream as an author! Thank you so much for reading! There will be more from me soon, hopefully!(:

Awwwwe. That's so beautiful!! :) *applause*

Author's Response: Thank you! Thank you! You've been a wonderful audience! Thanks so much for reading! I'm glad you liked it!![[:

I like ur fiction very much.
Although I can't understand some words.
ahhh~

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it!! Try having rhymezone.com on another tab while reading then look up the words you can't understand there. That site is helpful, really! Thanks for reading, though! I'm sorry you couldn't understand some words. Try looking them up? Okay?(:

wow...this was really really good. i loved the way you make Bill seem....like he couldnt live without Tom, that feeling of hopelessness without the one you love...it was really good ^_^

Author's Response: It's kind of what I sense when I read interviews on Tom about Bill and Bill about Tom. It's like they really need each other to go through life and so I took that and kinda exaggerated it. I'm so glad you liked it! Thanks so much!

I'd love to work as a beta for you sometime. (: You have a lot of potential and this fic was just too cute and heart wrenching.

ps. The titanic makes me sob every time.

Author's Response: Really?! Thanks so much! I'll inform you if there're any fics that need beta'ing. Aww. Thanks so much for saying I have a lot potential. This is one awesome morning I'm having!rnrnP.S. Same here[[: