Date: 12/17/08 07:17 am Title: Chapter 1
It was goood! =P
def good(=
Date: 12/13/08 12:12 am Title: Chapter 1
that was good very and it wasn't one of those half assed endings it was a full fleged ending very good
Date: 11/18/08 06:23 am Title: Chapter 1
...0.0.....0.0....wow...umm...ok....0.0....I'm speechless...but it was good ^.^
Author's Response: haha thanx my friend just like u said 2day <3
Date: 11/17/08 03:17 pm Title: Chapter 1
It was not bad at all! It was great actually!
Date: 11/16/08 11:00 pm Title: Chapter 1
The title and this Fic itself is fucking brilliant!!
Loved it!!!
Author's Response: thank you my sis helped me come up with it lolz thanx 4 ur review
Date: 11/16/08 09:41 pm Title: Chapter 1
I love this!! It was hot ;)
Date: 11/16/08 09:30 pm Title: Chapter 1
a few grammar mistakes but it was gud;]
Date: 11/16/08 07:18 pm Title: Chapter 1
I'll just tell you this - I will never take a math test the same way again. Which is a good thing, I swear. =)
I'll be smiling in math class tomorrow. This was really cute!
Author's Response: yah i know what u mean day after writing this i got in trouble for laughing during math class cus i was thinking of it lolz
Date: 11/16/08 06:45 pm Title: Chapter 1
HAHA That was THE most adorable thing I have ever had the pleasure of reading!! Hehehe awww that was amazing! So well written. I love you!!! XD
Author's Response: lolz thanx hun it was kida difficult 2 write but i could nver beleave id get this many positive reviews lolz <3
Date: 11/16/08 05:18 pm Title: Chapter 1
Just try being a bit more descriptive =P It seemed as if you were moving too fast. You want the reader to be able to see what you see. Other than that... there were just a few grammatical errors, but nothing serious. Other than that :) you did just fine
Date: 11/16/08 04:58 pm Title: Chapter 1
I thought this was pretty good, just make sure you slow down and give more little descriptions as to what's going on. Dont worry I have the same problem you wanna get it all out, but you have to make sure readers cab fully picture what you've got going on in your head.
Date: 11/16/08 04:48 pm Title: Chapter 1
It was fine. Not the best but certainly no where near the worst. Some grammer mistakes, (Gordon and me) and the flow stuttered a bit but smut wise it was good. The math test felt like an excuse to write the smut though and therefore maybe wasn't needed. You could have just had them come home from school and started from there but I'm assuming you were going for a bit of a plot.
Not bad at all really. Sorry I can't be more constructive.
Date: 11/16/08 04:43 pm Title: Chapter 1
You had a few minor typos, like "party's" when it should've been "parties" and I remember one or two misused apostrophes, but really nothing was majorly wrong gramatically.
For you, I'd focus on being descriptive. You don't have any problem envisioning a scenario, but you could definitely slow down and take time to describe the setting more.
You know what I mean?
But don't think I didn't like it. Even though young Bill/Tom kinda squicks me, I liked this anyway. It's a hot mental imagine. *nod*
Date: 11/16/08 04:02 pm Title: Chapter 1
I think this moved way too fast. Maybe you meant it to be that way?
Author's Response: yah a little it wasnt supposed to go so fast as it did but it sounds like it did im really no good at prolonging things i like getting right to the point it seems thanx for ur review <3
Date: 11/16/08 03:24 pm Title: Chapter 1
Gotta say, I like it. ;)
Date: 11/16/08 03:04 pm Title: Chapter 1
Teehee!
So naughty yet so kyut!
Lurved it!