Date: 02/10/09 02:42 pm Title: Sick Tomi
aww poor tomi
^^ awesome story!
Date: 11/13/08 10:17 pm Title: Sick Tomi
That was pretty hot.
But that throwing up part makes me feel a little sick too :P
Nice work :)
Author's Response: lol aw, at least i didn't make Tom throw up on Bill. that would be pretty sick. hahaha.
Date: 11/12/08 02:46 pm Title: Sick Tomi
...haha i didn't even notice that 'i' ^^
i wanted to say that i really really loved ittt! :)
i is a fool, i know.^^
Author's Response: lol ohhh! I get it now lol, i was wondering what that was hahaha. glad you liked it! :)
Date: 11/12/08 01:37 am Title: Sick Tomi
Oh my gosh that was so Hot! And your endings are the best. Funny!
Author's Response: :) thank you!
Date: 11/10/08 11:52 am Title: Sick Tomi
What a way to end .. haahaa ... I loved it
Author's Response: lol glad you liked it!
Date: 11/10/08 11:09 am Title: Sick Tomi
i
Author's Response: ?
Date: 11/10/08 08:09 am Title: Sick Tomi
The plot was really nice :) for a first attempt at sex this was rather good ;)
Just some little suggestions; if Tom had been throwing up I'd have made him wash his mouth before kissing Bill XP and also, if I were you I'd separate the lines when they talk, rather than mixing a few shots in a single paragraph.
Author's Response: lol true i never thought of that, rather gross lol. Thanks, I'm still new at writing them, I think im getting the hang of it, but I dunno.
Date: 11/10/08 06:26 am Title: Sick Tomi
Really good!!
The only thing though - I would have spaced it out a bit more and whenever there's a change in people speaking then put a space and then put it on a new line. Other than that .... WOW!!
The sex still has me shuddering. And the thought of rocking himself on Tom is still lingering in my mind. *drool* :P
Author's Response: thanks :) I know im still new at writing them all, but I think im getting better! thanks for reading :)
Date: 11/10/08 05:55 am Title: Sick Tomi
loved the ending, well at least Tom was able to hold it in till the end. loved the Lemon and the story was awesome. ^_^.
Author's Response: lol thank you, glad you liked it!
Date: 11/09/08 11:45 pm Title: Sick Tomi
That was intresting to say the least.
Author's Response: Interesting. I can't tell if you mean that as a good thing or a bad thing, but thanks for reading.
Date: 11/09/08 11:44 pm Title: Sick Tomi
Nice....
Author's Response: thanks.
Date: 11/09/08 10:24 pm Title: Sick Tomi
'i think i'm gunna throw up." i love the ending and you did a great job with the sex ;)
i love this story =)
Author's Response: lol thank you. glad you liked it! :)
Date: 11/09/08 10:17 pm Title: Sick Tomi
hahahah that ending was priceless. this was such a wonderful mesh of cute and smut. i loved it, i keep thinking about the end and laughing. i should have seen it coming but i guess i was distracted by the sex scene. lol it definitely wasnt bad for your first one.
Author's Response: lol thank you im glad you liked it. I thought it was pretty funny, is it lame to laugh at your own writing? Oh well, I did. :) I was a bit nervous about the sex scene, but glad you enjoyed it! :)
Date: 11/09/08 09:37 pm Title: Sick Tomi
ahaha. Tomi has to throw up again. lol.
But it was really good. Liked it. ;] Very hot.
Author's Response: lol thank you, glad you liked it! :)
Date: 11/09/08 08:53 pm Title: Sick Tomi
I had a feeling it was gonna end that way. They wer going to be totally happy at the end and then Tom was going to kill the moment. Way to go.
Author's Response: lol, of course. He was sick after all..
Date: 11/09/08 08:30 pm Title: Sick Tomi
ahhh lolz nice that was funny and hot good thing it wasnt all ovr bill that would have sucked luved it
Author's Response: lol, i love bill i couldn't be cruel enough to let him get covered in tom's puke. gross. lol glad you liked it.
Date: 11/09/08 08:20 pm Title: Sick Tomi
The mental image of Tom all sickly and yet still trying to be smooth made me giggle! Great story!
Author's Response: lol, i could just picture him being that way. haha, glad you liked it!
Date: 11/09/08 08:05 pm Title: Sick Tomi
lol at the last part! I loved it! So romantic and loving! I lvoe Tom and Bill! :)
Author's Response: i love them too. :) glad you enjoyed it!