AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

SHIT,h MEET FAN!!!!!

:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Oh man, I feel so horrible for the both of them right now! Because how horrible it will be to want to fuck your twin so bad when you're supposed to be bonding with each other?

ACK, and just when both men realize they're in love, awwww! I just wanna cry!

O.o

Author's Response: 0.o
rn W

rnLOL

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!
I literally felt the emotions and everything. Haha no way in hell Tom would get a new car and puppy then everything go smoothly. HA!

OMGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Tom was getting some ass tonight!" Best line ever... Well, not really but it made my day. And I just noticed ur from Miami! Yay, I from Homestead, and I always feltlonely cuz I could never find a TH fan, but I did nows!!! And next chapter, I have a feeling all hell is gonna break loose...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

OMG OMFG OMG.

heilig scheisse....

Author's Response: Heilig scheisse indeed! :}

oh crap...........

Author's Response: Exactly....!
rnUm and your username is hilarious! Extraho? Really? LOL

Oh my god!!! That's so exciting O.O

Author's Response: Nice name! And thanks!!! :}

Lets be honest here? When do I ever not over analize a chapter? Never! lol...oh and if a story/chapter bothered me enough I would just stop reading and tracking the story. If something starts to bug me enough I just don't bother to finish it. *sits and waits in your closet for the next chapter* O_o

Author's Response: Right, you do overanalysed. but I love it

Nawh uh lol this is so funny!!!! I have my itunes open and playing randomly and I decide it’s time to review this chapter…I’ve read it but I was focused on other things so I didn’t review…anyway I open this chapter and Can’t Get You Outta My Head is playing on my itunes in the exact place that you have posed up. Ha ha

Bill had a dastardly fitful sleep, tossing and turning, punching and kicking the air, wishing it was the dumb-ass named Kaulitz. – *giggles*

“I should’ve just stomped him on the nuts,” – that would have been super mean!

Bill cursed under his breath as he rolled lazily out the bed, successfully falling on his gorgeous face with a dry and quick thud. “Fuck!” – ha ha

Once successfully in the restroom, Bill dug in his boxers, and flicked on the lights.
He screamed and quickly stuffed himself back into his boxers. – ha ha ha ha ha *snorts and holds sides*

The one to his left spoke first. “Hi, I’m Natalie--the make-up artist, and she’s Nakasha the hair stylist.” – My only problem with this is that they are sitting in a dark bathroom completely silent…but didn’t Bill lock the door to his room? *sigh* little details are what throw off a story, they can make or break you.

chocoalte-skin – I love this kind of description for brown anything…it makes it that much warmer and makes me feel all snuggly…oh go and fix the spelling on chocolate and make it right.

“Well, Tom wanted to surprise you. You’re doing this Ed Hardy shoot today, and it’s down stairs. So get your adorable ass in the shower so we can work,” – cute and they wouldn’t want him to wash his hair…impossible to style unless it’s dirty.

“Forgive her, she’s just a horny cougar.” – I think cougars have to be over the age of 50 to be considered cougars…just to be technical and annoying. *grins*

“I’m the creative designer for photo shoots, love. I ran into Tom yesterday and thought he was you, isn’t that cra-zy?!”
Bill snorted. “Why would you think Tom was me?” – this is too much…unless I’m unnaturally perceptive…hasn’t everyone else also figured out that Bill and Tom are twins?

“Well, go on and wash your ass, we have a shoot to conduct!” – there would likely be more of a reunion then this, they haven’t seen eachother in many years and they were very close they would ask all sorts of questions and take forever, they would likely have to force themselves to stop or someone would have to stop them…too late to fix…*shrugs*

they walked into the den which was san all of the usual white couch…- they’re doing it in Tom’s house? That’s odd…why not on the roof or near by park or lobby or…*shrugs* ok going with it!

It was nine AM, and Bill was tired as hell, four outfit changes, hairstyles and make-up switches worn him out to the bone, but he still smiled as he walked he staff to the door. That’s it? No no no no more like 4pm !!! I promise for that many outfits and new hair deff more time is needed!

“Zoloft? Why are you taking such a strong pill?” - *makes a face* not that strong.

“Prozac?! Tom, are you junkie?!” – what? Why would Zoloft and prozac make him a junkie…more like pain medication makes you a junkie that’s all brain fixing meds…it would be more like Tom are you psycho???

“I…I have a co-dependency complex, okay? And I’m…I’m depressed about it.” – depression I buy but co-dependency complex??? *makes a face and groans* *waves a finger* research you need to do research before you assign a made up someone a made up mental problem! I promise research is very important. Because co-dependence is: The codependent is a person who perpetuates the alcohol or drug dependence of someone close to them in a way that hampers recovery. That’s not what you mean. What you mean has something more to do with stress, anxiety and depression.

Their fight feels contrived…unnatural. Tom seems so mary sue and Bill isn’t angry enough.

“No, you‘re being dependent again, go in your room!” – ha ha!

“Okay, okay…geez.” Tom snickered – Tom can’t be both funny and pathetic…or can’t switch so fluidly between the two it has to be more awkward.

Bill should be torn between loving it and being angry.
Tom should be more apologetic and trying to use humor to avoid fully explaining his true feelings.

This whole time, Tom was a little off…that explains much. – beta fix…that explained a lot.

Andreas’ mansion in Berlin – do they have those in Berlin?

Their table conversation isn’t much to note on…new information here and there but nothing that really struck me other then what’s below.

“To your brother,” Natalie whispered to Bill, who choked on his salad.
“ADOPTED. I was adopted, I just so happened to fall for my adopted brother! – lol ok that’s funny.

“Have you noticed?”
“Noticed what?” Tom asked unaware of anything he was suppose to pay attention to.
“You and Bill…look strikingly alike.” – this seems like a really good spot to put the note about them looking a like…it works here.

“You can sleep next to me, tonight.” – awh that’s sweet.

Author's Response: Thanks again for your review, but I think you're over-analyzing this chap. I did my research and I'm right on the money because Tom is only revealing what he wants to reveal to Bill. Later in the story Ian tells Bill why he prescribed Tom depression pills. You're being too meticulous to a fic that's half-done. This is one of my off-chapters that I did in a slight hurry and as much as I appreciate critique but this was just too much of a dissection. I'm not trying to make M.O.B not the typical fanfic for a reason. Tom's not being GaryStu-ish, he's just being unsure of how to act and Bill's not angry enough because he's just as confused. He can't leave Tom--he'll have no where to go. Bushido makes him sick and Georg is obsessive. Just let the story flow; if it irks you that much I'll try to conform it a little, but I just might not. Don't take this offensively, I love your reviews--I await for them everytime I post--but let the situation blossom before he claim I didn't research or the characters are being Stu/Sue-ish.