Date: 06/01/12 01:06 am Title: “You can hurt me if you want.”
Your work is sublime.
Date: 02/07/11 02:39 pm Title: “You can hurt me if you want.”
I’ve never been good at expressing myself, so I need to preface what I’m going to say, that it may not make sense to you, and I apologies ahead of time.
I have to say…I do all i can to fiercely avoid reading your stories. Always, every single time i come across this penname, i scroll away quickly, just a glance and I know. As a reader, i put my faith in you, the author. i hand you my heart and my mind and sign the contract saying 'do what you will, but please don't bore me'. You never do of course...i dont think i could every use the words bore and Melancholia in the same sentance fairly.
But, you can call me a coward if you will...you write so well you scare me away. Each time i give in and read a story of yours you stun me, break my heart, fuck my mind so badly i literally need a good five minutes to recover. And then everything else just seems to pale in comparison.
I’m not sure I’m eloquent enough to give the review this story deserves. To be honest, I don’t usually review unless there is something in a story that truly touches me. It was so brief, but so potent. You’re an inspiring author. You write for a small audience with a rare talent that I’ve only ever seen in one other person, and they were too ashamed to claim it. I hope you never stop.
Author's Response: "thank you" doesn't seem sufficient enough, and yet they're the only words i have. sadistic as it may seem, i am profoundly grateful that what i write touches you in that way. so thanks for that, and thank you for letting me know. :)
Date: 07/16/10 04:01 am Title: “You can hurt me if you want.”
love it, it's simply beautiful...
Author's Response: thank you! again. ;)
Date: 05/17/10 12:39 am Title: “You can hurt me if you want.”
once again, amazing!!!
Author's Response: once again, thank you! :)
Date: 07/09/09 09:26 am Title: “You can hurt me if you want.”
This is pure fucking poetry made prose. Pardon my French. This is like splitting open a watermelon, pouring in salt, and getting blood in your teeth. This is fabulous, and I will read it over and over again.
Author's Response: thank you so much. <3
Date: 03/17/09 06:57 pm Title: “You can hurt me if you want.”
Okay, just added your story to my favorites and I realized that it was Tom/Bill. *sigh* I always feel bad when I interpret stories differently than the author intended, and it makes me feel so much better that I saw it the way you meant. Yay.
Reread my review, and 1) sorry for the rambling that gets progressively more impassioned, vulgar, and confusing as it goes on. 2) I used 'their' instead of 'her' somewhere in the first part (just bothers me, sorry). 3) I forgot to mention another part I loved (I know you thought I quoted the whole thing, but I didn’t!)..." Your solid pieces reeked of vulnerability; your soft places begged to be splintered.” God, describing ‘solid’ places as ‘vulnerable’ and having ‘soft’ places that ‘splinter’ – how the fuck did you come up with that? It obviously should be the other way around (and at first I though, hmm, she should switch those), but after I thought about it I realized that like everything else in the story, you chose these words deliberately and when I examined the line further, I understood how outstanding and wonderfully grotesque the implausibility of it is. Soft things don’t splinter and hard places shouldn’t be vulnerable, but it just emphasizes the surrealness of the story as well as how Bill transcends humanity and how Tom struggles with the confines and limitations of the world. Have I told you you’re brilliant? 4) 768 words? You’ve got to be kidding me. You managed to completely kill me in 768 words, and each time I read it I uncover something new.
I thought about begging you to write the prequel, but I almost find this story perfect as it is... not knowing what happened earlier in their relationship makes the dynamic between the two so much more intense (at least in my opinion...a lot of people will probably get mad at me for saying this). Of course if you post the prequel you know that I won't be able to read it fast enough, but in truth, I just don't see how this story could be improved.
Author's Response: Sorry to break it to you, but I'd never be able to handle writing something that's not mainly Bill/Tom (in one way or another, be that romantic or not). Anyway, I'm really glad you went ahead and read this without knowing which pairing it was, and yet manage to inpret it correctly. Makes me feel good. (: Um, how I come up with it? Go hunt down my muse, I'm sure she'll be happy to explain it to you (pfft, or not, the bitch never does anything she doesn't want to do). Wonderfully grotesque... oooh I like that. Bill transcending humanity and Tom struggling with the "confines and limitations of the world" is actually how I see the twins in RL. 4) That's one of the reasons I was hesitating while posting this; I myself don't often find well written fics in told in so few words, and in any case I do prefer the long ones, but I perhaps I am glad that you think I did a good job. Also, that you uncover something new every time you read this is one of the kindest compliments one can give me, because I do the same with prose I am completely in love with, so really, thank you. About a prequel, well, I can't say that I don't have ideas for one, but most of them slip through my fingers like water or I wake up and am left with only fragments of what perhaps could be a tragic, surreal story. But oh well, what can you do. Thanks for the review, again. =)
Date: 03/17/09 05:58 pm Title: “You can hurt me if you want.”
When I review (which I do embarrassingly infrequently), I have a tendency to write a lot (just as a warning). I like to explain to the author what I found so unique about their fic/writing style and go into detail so the author understands how amazingly talented I find her. Now I’ve read this fic at least 10 times (wish I was exaggerating), and I still haven’t reviewed (well, until now).
Each time I read I expect to be able to come up with at least some coherent feedback, but every time I finish all I can think is ‘Fuuuuck.”
Okay, here’s my best shot.
First off, writing style. DEAR GOD!! I am always so jealous of people who can abstractly and subtly paint storylines, and you did this with seemingly no effort. The way you choose to describe things is just so fucking brilliant that I almost want to dislike you because I am so jealous(I’m a bad person – sorry :(). I’m going to pick several of my favorite lines that were just so beautiful that they wrenched my heart out and stomped around on it until it was ground into the floor.
1)“…and then sighed smoke over your shoulder. You wore your cancer well, and I envied you for it. Not everyone is brave enough to die, even slowly. These days we are all in such denial.” Just… fuck. You had to do this to me right off the bat. Your fucking word choice, how the smoke was ‘sighed,’ how he was ‘wearing cancer,’ how tender but tense this moment is between the characters is just unbelievable.
2)“You might have been plain without it, except that you weren’t, you didn’t know how to be, maybe.” Yeah, I know that this is basically one sentence later, but it’s not my fault that it’s just exceptional – you wrote it, you know. This specific sentence I find represents the narrator’s personality, who is observant but just so fucking confused and unsure of himself and hurt and weak. I read the narrator as Tom in a non-twincest AU, just because of the complexity of the relationship between he and Bill…I don’t think you wrote it that way but it’s just how I see it (sorry). To me, this character of Tom is just so overwhelmed and enamored with Bill and he is just grasping for something solid to hold onto in order to regain control and understanding in his life. Bill, on the other hand, is just tired of going through the motions and no longer really reaches for anything.
3)“Love letters, you purred. And suicide notes. All the same syllables. Just rearranged.” Fuck, please tell me you didn’t come up with this by yourself. Just so fucking genius. Fuck.
4)“You can hurt me if you want…Of course I wanted… I could tear through your lipgloss to the tragedy beneath… I wanted you to know what helpless felt like. You’d beg for me. You’d beg for more. I could press my thumbs into your cheeks until you couldn’t forget me. Forgive me. All of the above.” Do you understand that I am quoting EVERY SINGLE LINE? Jesus!
5)“The subway was empty and you drew pictures in the fog, worlds born from your breath against the cold glass windows. Or maybe not; maybe they were secrets, confessions, lies. There was no use in wondering: you wiped them away when the train stopped and led the way to a one bedroom apartment on the side of town best known for sirens and the morning after. Your boots crushed broken glass all the way up the stairs; the door didn’t lock behind us. Before you even told me what name you went by now, we took shots from a bottle with no label, and it burned like the look in your eyes. Drink me.” Yep, every single line, but this paragraph was my favorite by far. So goddamn brilliant it makes me sick. I fucking see them sitting on the empty subway, Tom’s leg bouncing up and down from habit as Bill looked out the window at the darkness, both surrounded and almost muted by the type of isolated quiet that you can only feel in the middle of the night in big cities. I can picture Bill’s apartment exactly - I can see the impoverished neighborhood and the kitchen table with one leg too short that is surrounded by two, maybe three mismatched chairs from the seventies. The fridge is old and Bill pulls the bottle of cheap liquor from where he keeps it on top of it, and gives it to Tom without saying anything. How the fuck do you do this? In this paragraph you painted multiple multi-layered scenes, dedicating only a sentence to each one. A sentence! And not only that, but you just flooded us with a heart aching sense of cold, loneliness, quiet, and confusion, all these emotions wrapped in a fog that the reader can’t get out of. You don’t allow us to grasp onto your characters or your story line – you make everything so fucking intangible. It is like we are trying to make out a shape in the fog or trying to remember a dream that just gets further away the harder we try and hold onto it. Seriously unbelievable. Fuck.
6)“Maybe that’s why I wasn’t bitter about the windows wiped away. You lost my secrets that night, too.” Perfect example of your brilliance in creating a blurred, intangible story. I have a love/hate relationship with this line because it is beautiful but I don’t understand what you meant by it. I tell myself that it wasn’t meant to be understood.
7)“I looked into your eyes and saw fire blazing across darkened skies; I looked and saw myself in you.” This is the other line that formed my picture of the narrator (in my mind, Tom). Tom is lost and swimming and looking for something tangible, and he sees that Bill was once like him but has already descended into the next level in which he can’t be reached. Tom fears/knows that he will soon follow him there.
8)“I could have been walking backwards all along.” I don’t have anything to say – I mean, what can I say? I guess I can just mention how you completely mastered the use of the first person in this fic… you somehow avoided all the limitations of it and just used all its advantages. I just want to hug the narrator so fucking bad.
9)“For real, this time. The only thing left for me was your smile, and the sirens, getting closer.” FUUUUUUCCCK. Seriously!
Okay, now that I have written a review that is like 10x longer than your story and horrendously abused the word ‘fuck,’ I think that you get how obsessed I am. In all honesty, there are writing journals that publish stuff of way lower quality than this and I truly think that you should think about submitting this to one of them. You might want to have a writing professor or someone take a look at it for small suggestions, but I really think that this needs to be read by more people outside the TH fandom.
Just so fucking brilliant.
Author's Response: You did not consider my ego when you wrote that review, did you? Because, well, mine just doesn't fit into this room anymore. (Enjoy it while it lasts, they say.) First of all, THANK YOU so much for this incredible review. Honestly, I think you manage to grasp this... story better than me, and I wrote it. Secondly, don't feel bad. I feel like that all the time when I read something that is so gorgeously written that I feel light headed. Also, when that happens, I want to quote just about every line but, different from you, I manage to control myself. ;) 2) yes yes yes, you understand it perfectly. 3) Er, um... *blushes* 5) You just about made my life. That's exactly what I was trying to do, and that I think I never quite succeed with, and I am so glad it made you think and feel and interpret it that way. 7) Oh, Tom's not the only one. I'm on my way, as well.
Okay, so, once again, thank you so very much for your stunning review, and for sharing all your thoughts with me. I can't quite explain how much that means to me. (:
Date: 03/06/09 03:25 pm Title: “You can hurt me if you want.”
gimme twincest 0,0 (twincest addict much xD) I loved it Ö
xx Chi ^^
Author's Response: Thanks. :)
Date: 02/08/09 11:47 am Title: “You can hurt me if you want.”
You have such a way of expressing feelings that i can't help but be amazed.
Your subtlety is natural, and it flows so freely in the story it's obvious that you weren't trying to be perfect in your writing, you just are.
Author's Response: And you don't try to be amazing when writing reviews; you just are, right? ;) Thank you so much!!! :)
Date: 01/03/09 11:22 am Title: “You can hurt me if you want.”
Well, shit. You pwn me any day. *adds to favorites*
Author's Response: I really don't, believe me. ;) Thanks, though!! :)
Date: 12/31/08 01:57 pm Title: “You can hurt me if you want.”
I get so lost in your stories...they're just so beautiful and unique. Much love for this.
Author's Response: Thank you so much!! :)
Date: 10/23/08 11:01 am Title: “You can hurt me if you want.”
*loves all over this gorgeous piece of writing*
don't ever stop being amazing!
Author's Response: Aww, thank you, I'll try not to. ;-) <33
Date: 10/11/08 02:25 pm Title: “You can hurt me if you want.”
ooooh, this is very cool and beautiful, I am going to read the next part immediately :) :)
Author's Response: Oh wow, thank you!! Don't get your hopes up, though. ;-) Thanks for the review! <3
Date: 10/06/08 03:59 am Title: “You can hurt me if you want.”
WOW. like really, wow. I am literarly speechless. This was.... oh, gott in himmell, I think I need a second to properly form a coherent sentence. This is so beautiful and well-written and orginal and at the risj of sound repeatative, just wow. I am in awe and shall remain so, I believe, until you write something more. And then I shall just sink further into it xD Thank you for writing this. *adds to favs* Amazing.
Author's Response: Wow, don't give yourself a heartattack on my account, eh? ;) But really, thank you so much! I've written a prequel to this, actually, and I'm working on a couple of more. Actually, I'm working on too many things at the moment.rnThank you so much for the review, and for adding this to your favs. It means the world to me. <3
Date: 10/03/08 10:09 am Title: “You can hurt me if you want.”
Someone wrote about me. Haha, what fun!! But, in all seriousness, or silliness, this is fragmented, in a beautiful way. It's ethereal, fluid, like walking through moonlight.
Bill, like me, leave behind nothing but his smile. I like that. Maybe I have finally found an equal.
Author's Response: I wasn't aware that I wrote about you. You (or whoever you are, can I trust your penname?) inspired me, yes, but I could just as well be writing about the mad hatter. An equal in me or in (this) Bill?rnThanks for the review. It was entertaining. And nice, of course. =)
Date: 09/30/08 02:41 pm Title: “You can hurt me if you want.”
I'm impressed... definitely amazed at your talent, hun...
"Love letters. And suicide notes. All the same syllables. Just rearranged."
That line is probably one of my favorites, though there were many, many good ones in there.
I also like the fact that you never say any name, it makes the story more mysterious, almost... I don't know, maybe ethereal, if the word means that in english. It's like walking, or reading through a dream. My congratulations on this, I bow before your talent! Now what on earth did you feed musie?^^
Btw, your translation of the poem verse seems very good to me, that's exactly what I would have said.
Author's Response: Aww, Marine, thank you so much!! <3 I'm so happy you like it. The name thing, that was intentional. Ethereal? I think that's one of the best compliments I've ever gotten. I love that word xD I have no idea what I fed her!! Not too much chocolate... No Red Bull... It's strange. ^.^rnReally? That's great. French isn't my forte, as I said, but I really tried on that one. xDrnOnce again, thanks for the review!! <3
Date: 09/28/08 07:17 am Title: “You can hurt me if you want.”
I really don't know what to say. *iz speechless* gah, this was just amazing. It literally took my breath away, it's that good! <3
God, I'm not really into oneshots, but this.. this is the best oneshot I have read, in like.. I don't even know, forever! O: <3
You have a gift for writing and you should never ever stop writing, or else I will come and kick your *whispers* ass <3
This was amazingly written, an I loved it to the last bit!
I really hope you'll write more.. soon. :)
I actually read this over and over again. I can't stop reading it! Great <3
Saki <3
Author's Response: Aww, Saki!!! You're the best <3 That's such a huge compliment, coming from you. Haha, but what if I get a writer's block? xD I'm trying to write a prequel to this, at the moment. So we'll see. :)rnAgain, thanks a bunch for the nice words. I'm gonna have to face my dad in a little while and this gave me strength =D Thanks. <3
Date: 09/28/08 05:28 am Title: “You can hurt me if you want.”
*speechless*
you're that good..
Author's Response: Oh my god, I made someone speechless!! *proud* Thank you, hun, that means a lot. Thanks for the review.<3
Date: 09/28/08 01:23 am Title: “You can hurt me if you want.”
welcome to our haven of pervasion and debauchery, hope you enjoy the stay. lord knows i've never left. i like your style very much. you write the way i like to read. like you're painting something bigger with the words instead of just depicting a moment in time. if that makes sense instead of sounding completely retarded, but that's the best way i can think to describe it. and it's fragmented in the most wonderful way. i'll be watching for more from you.
Author's Response: Thank you, I do. That didn't sound "completely retarded", though the things that makes least sense are often the ones that I appeal to xD Thanks for the review!! <3
Date: 09/28/08 12:45 am Title: “You can hurt me if you want.”
Absolutaley amazing, dearie. Just absolutely positively amazing.
Author's Response: Thank you!! That means a lot. :)