Other than a few places where you failed to capitalize the letter "I", I think you have a lot of talent. I don't want to see Lily become a Mary Sue, and with balance I know she won't.

I'm interested in finding out why Tom is so indifferent toward her, and why Lily's feelings are so serious, when he's never given her another look over the years.

This has potential (especially if you don't "announce" the POV in the beginning of the chapter), so I will check out the next chapter.

Author's Response: Well my Microsoft word thing doesn't correct the "I" 's so i didn't wanna re-read it.rnNo, Lily wont be like that ;)rnrnI tried to make it like one of those girls who is weird, and not pretty and geeky, that follows the guy she likes and never lets him or anyone forget she loves him through her actions.rnrnThank you very much, i'll use your suggestions :)

sad

Author's Response: Okay...