Date: 08/04/09 01:16 am Title: Broken Pen
that was...wow pretty much the best i've ever read fantastic!
Date: 03/02/09 04:22 pm Title: Broken Pen
OMG you made me cry.
That was so sad.
Wow, I've never read a fic like that before.
That was lovely, but so distressing, in a good way.
Date: 08/25/08 05:07 pm Title: Broken Pen
*sniff* That was so sad. D':
Author's Response: Dont cry *huggles*. Thankyou so much for the review. xxx
Date: 08/25/08 04:55 pm Title: Broken Pen
not confusing at all!
just incredibly sad:(((
Author's Response: Aww thankyou for the review. Glad you didnt find it confusing. Thanks once again xxx
Date: 08/25/08 04:52 pm Title: Broken Pen
That is amazing. Absolutely freaking phenominally amazing!! I followed it, mostly. I think I got lost once, but just at the beginning, because I didn't understand who's eyes were saw from. After the first paragraph, it was like: "Oh, it's Tom!"
Very few mistakes, considering the complexity of everything. A couple missed punctuation, spelling on a couple words, nothing major, I assure you. Common mistakes, but they take nothing away from the pure beauty of this.
Bill... What can I say? He scared me, really. He was the pen, shattered and bleeding, but you can't help but want to reach out and comfort him. You portrayed the broken idol very well. I loved the scene near the end with the pigeon cooing.
We have an autistic boy at our school, and I have a class with him. Periodically, we'll hear an odd sound and look over at him, and he'll be on the floor acting like and animal, or he'll be dancing around the room like a bird. Then, seconds later, he'll be acting like any regular teenager. We've learned that giving him our attention makes him stop sooner.
Tom.... I loved how he was portrayed. He has this guilt and anger at himself for doing that to his brother, but it's not totally his fault. Part of the blame rests on Bill. Bill was the one who was smoking. Without that cigarette, then none of that would have happened... But then we wouldn't have this plot... I'll stop that thought there. xD
But no matter the cost, Tom takes care of his brother, and that's a beautiful thing.
My brother has vision and rage problems, and I've often been the brunt of his assault. I've only hit him back once, and only because I really feared for my life (he's half my size, my age, but so very strong). If anything happened to my brother, I'd feel it was my fault for not noticing or not intervening before it happened, and I'd probably do the same as Tom and take care of him.
It's the bond of family and friendship that bonds us together in this warring world. The base of both of those is love. With Tom and Bill, it is a mixture of their love and Tom's guilt that keeps them in that gravitational tug which we call commitment (but not in the way that one might think). You made that a conscious thought in our minds, and that is an amazing thing.
Sorry for the ramble and rant; I kinda got carried away.
Author's Response: Oh my. That review made me gasp. Sorry about the first paragraph. I should of put a hint in it to identify it was Tom. Did I miss some punctuation and spelling? eek sorry. Stupid Word didnt say anything. Aww your poor brother. My young cousin used to have rage problems, So I know its hard to take the brunt of their rages. I thank you for that rant, I love the review and I'm glad that I was able to portray all this to you. It means a lot to me thankyou xxx
Date: 08/25/08 04:09 pm Title: Broken Pen
This wasn't confusing, it was really sad though. All that was caused b/c of anger over smoking. So much painfull damage, it was so sad.
On a more practical, medical note, the things Bill's suffering from arn't right. You can't get Autims from a fall, it probably has to develop before the age of two, maybe one. The skitsofrenic stuff might be possible I don't know, more likely Bill would have had a lot of brain damage that would have been similar to someone who got into a really bad car crash involving serious brain damage. Memory loss, possibly reverting back to baby behavior and being unable to grow up ever. Loss of speech, loss of certan movement capabilities, mood swings for no reason...
You had the right idea and actually said a whole lot more w/ Bill's actions than w/ your diagnosis which only proves the point that showing is better than telling and also shows that you've mastered that technique.
Good job.
Author's Response: WOW. What a review. I thankyou for the constructiveness. Schitzophrenic behaviour is possible after a fall it happened to someone close to my family. Ack...With the Autism bit I meant with the behaviour and actions it can be collectively named as autism. Thankyou for the fantastic review. I'll keep all that in mind. Thankyou once again xx
Date: 08/25/08 03:48 pm Title: Broken Pen
good lord, i've never read anything like it. it's utterly fantastice.
Author's Response: aww thankyou. that means a lot. Glad you liked it. Thanks for the review xxx
Date: 08/25/08 02:34 pm Title: Broken Pen
I liked it. Keep up the good work.
Author's Response: hehehe thankyou :D thanks for the review xxx
Date: 08/25/08 02:26 pm Title: Broken Pen
wow
that was so... good, I don't know how say it. I'm amazed.
Good job, keep writting
Author's Response: Aww thankyou :D I'm glad you liked it. Thankyou for the review it means a lot. Thankyou xxx
Date: 08/25/08 02:08 pm Title: Broken Pen
OMFG!
that.was.amazing.
i got teary-eyed.
it was cute.
very cute.
good job!
Author's Response: EEK thankyou :D I'm glad you liked it. Thankyou for the review xxx
Date: 08/25/08 02:05 pm Title: Broken Pen
WOW, that was reall good :)
Author's Response: Thankyou :D Glad you liked it. Thanks for the review xxx