Date: 01/05/15 02:04 pm Title: V
I knew it!!! I had a feeling that thats how it would turn out ever since Tom picked up the cyborg (or he picked up Tom). The end was positively heart breaking.
Date: 02/12/13 01:19 am Title: V
I still keep thinking about this story. It really touched me.
I'd like to think that cyborg 571 lived longer than any other experiment because Bill that still lived in 571 wanted to get back to Tom.
I kind of wish that 571 did not die and took Tom with him, that instead Tom learned to live with this new reincarnation of Bill.
I hope Gustav will expose the Universal somehow and the madness will be stopped.
Date: 02/11/13 11:19 pm Title: V
What a tremendously sad story. It made me tear...
Date: 02/06/11 02:20 pm Title: V
Just... Awesome.
The final part it's just so perfect, so right after their death.
Beautiful story.
Date: 12/08/10 08:54 am Title: I
i really didnt see it coming......an end like this punch me in the guts..... but I think that happens to you when you read a really excellent story.....thanks for writing it ..... now if you excuse me I'm going to throw myself through the balcony :P
Date: 11/11/10 04:47 pm Title: V
what an absolutely stunnung story. it left me so speachless at the end, yet so desperate for more. a little part of me was hoping it would continue, but the way you ended it was perfect. how could a sory like this continue without the lives of the main characters? it was simply beautiful:)
there have been many stories on this site that made me cry, for example "Open your eyes" by kelseykatamine (who sadly took down her story like many others after the whole situation a few months back) as well as "i will be" by knw. but this story not only made me cry and say to myself "it was so lovely, im going to favorite it right now!", but i was left with this aching feeling in my whole body. an unbelieveable dissatisfaction at first. im not quite sure what i was even thinking at first when i read the last lines of the story. this intense emptiness of longing for a happier ending was taking over my mind. i so dessperatly wanted a joyful ending to this story. one where maybe bill lives on as a human there after and he and tom are finally reunited. the bitter sweet ending of Desideratum ive come to terms with, and one that i have accepted is the ACTUALL ending is quite possibly the most satisfying yet heartbreaking ending ive read in many years. its a sad story i will never forget for many more years to come:)
Date: 10/30/10 10:50 am Title: V
Very sad but beautifully written =)
Date: 10/30/10 10:32 am Title: III
Poor Bill, what did they do to him?
Date: 05/30/10 02:11 am Title: V
That was so sad! But so touching. Oh and I was right, I'm sure everyone guessed it but I'm going to be conceited and say I knew it from chapter one and the summary, go me. Anyway, OMG! That was so sad, I know I'm repeating myself. I absolutely loved this. The Sci-Fi in it was great and I don't think I hate ALL Sci-Fi, just the things on the channel.
I cant imagine writing that, it was heart clenching.
Date: 05/30/10 02:00 am Title: IV
God, now I have fear of copying you guys too much. I do have to say though that this story is slightly, shocking to read. Most of the time you guys are more romantic and lovey, and yes this has those elements but it's completely new.
Date: 05/30/10 01:48 am Title: III
I hate to speak too quick and make myself look like a dumb ass, so I will just continue reading.
Date: 05/30/10 01:32 am Title: II
I really like this line "Tom wonders how many ones and zeros make up concern in a robot's mind." It's those types of lines I hope to be able to write one day. I love how well you two blend. There is NO seam AT ALL, no one would ever be able to tell it's two people. I really love how this is going it's definitely good and I'm glad I started it.
Date: 05/30/10 01:10 am Title: I
I have to say I wasn't expecting this AT ALL but I'm very excited for it. I can see the whole sci-Fi thing like you said (Meg) but it's desirable. I do believe I am really going to enjoy this a lot.
Date: 05/17/10 03:55 am Title: I
that is so sad... but wonderful at the same time.
Date: 04/27/10 04:00 pm Title: V
So sad. So wonderful. I really liked this.
Date: 04/22/10 02:09 am Title: V
I've been switching back and forth between THFiction and fictionpress for stories, and despite the fact that (I think) fanfiction is generally considered to be the lesser of the two for literary value, it's simply the truth that I find the writers on THFiction to be better on average, and this story is a great example.
Now, when I say great, I would like you to imagine that I said it in a very petulant, cranky tone (but not sarcastic). The unfortunate thing about good writing is that the best and most powerful ending is not always the happiest, not often at all. And unfortunately for me, the many great writers on THFiction recognize this. The end of this story gave me the same painful knot in the stomach that I really can only relate to "I Will Be" be knw, on the spot anyway (I think the ending of the "Hell" series will no doubt result in the same feeling). I'm hoping both of you have read that and understand the significance of what I'm saying; what a brutal, painful ending that is the only one that would really work, much to my regret.
(God, stories like this always leave me having to search for something more cheerful, otherwise I'll be left for the rest of the evening reminiscing and rehashing the empathetic pain your story created.)
I'm not sure how other people read stories, but it is so important to me that I can visualize the story as it happens; I'll often go to youtube just for a quick reminder of what Bill and Tom sound like and how they move and such. Obviously, some description is necessary for me to able to enjoy the story this way, but I've found that the atmosphere and mood created is much more essential to me being able to imagine the story as it happens. So this comes out a lot in my reviews.
No doubt, it is the combination of the mood and the theme of "Desideratum" that resulted in me imagining it as I did, and I hope you won't find it too offensive when I say that I could have easily imagined this story as a short film a la "The Animatrix", although probably more along the lines of the darker stories, such as "The Second Renaissance" and "World Record". Besides the inherent tragedy of the twins' love for each other and desperation I feel their death contained in your story, "Desideratum" also left me with a strong sense of unease. This unease is similar to what those two short films left me with, but similar also to the residue left by "The Handmaid's Tale" and "1984". Yours is one of those stories that takes the grandiose, theoretical ideas and applies the consequences to specific, emotional situations to demonstrate the folly of such generalized perspectives.
As a microbiologist, it's actually something that comes up quite often in the ethics of what we study. Of course we love to explore all avenues of invention and progress, and it's so easy to just say, "Oh, well it's possible that there could be some negative consequences of such discoveries, but here are the pros! Look at all the great and wonderful things that could be done if we just figured it out," and just brush away the possible societal damage as statistics.
(Oh, I know, I know; you guys aren't necessarily trying to change the world or make a huge statement or claim to be anything other than what you are -two authors who love to write- but I always feel its important to let the authors know what kind of impact they're having on their readers.)
As far as your narrative goes, it's really the memories framing the chapters that solidified the emotional punch of the story. I've read a few other reviews that spoke of crying, and I have little doubt that it's the final flashback to the camera scene that really did it for everyone. Ugh, I can NEVER be concise, but if I had to choose the most significant emotion you created that caused people to cry, I bet that it would be "regret". Regret for what could have been and what was lost and why and how and on.
Anyway, your story has combined all of these elements for me, and while it's small, it's still a very stark reminder of the devastating consequences that progress without humanity can have, and I think it's especially effective coming from such an unexpected source.
(I'm glad I read this before I finished all my finals as opposed to after. I'll have to use the elation of completing the school year to get me over some of the stories I've read over the last few weeks.)
Thank you guys so much for writing all that you do!
Author's Response: What a nice review, thank you. :) And we can assure you, our AUs always have themes and they are always intentionally inserted, so it's nice to see how it affects the reader, especially from a reader who recognizes the effect themselves.
Date: 01/21/10 11:47 pm Title: V
that was amazing. and the ending was beautiful. i guess Bill did wait for Tom in a way...im actually crying right now and i think that out of all the stories i've read on THF, yours was the first to make that happen. thank you :)
Date: 12/30/09 03:22 pm Title: V
I'm shutted down, too, rigth now.
Thank you both for ever writing this. It was absolutely amazing.
The characters' development and the plot, everything was terrific.
Something to keep on memory, too.
Date: 11/30/09 10:33 am Title: V
By the gods... I've been reading (and re-reading) this, and I can't help but break to pieces every time. It's so heart-breaking and oh-so-beautiful at the same time.
Date: 09/14/09 05:06 pm Title: V
Sad and Sweet and peaceful in unexpected ways. It's excellent sci-fi!