Date: 11/02/08 06:28 pm Title: [1] Bill
WOW! u have an iPhone!!!!!!!! whooo! I love iit! my mom promissed me one for Christmas.. if she buys me one I`d be thrilled.. even though this would be the only present I would get for the christmas holidays FROM MY ENTIRE FAMILY (that is.. if Mother keeps her promise...)
[sry about that.. ahem.. back to the story..]
how to break the ice.. well that`s a toughy ... make Bill and Kayen break up .. ( I guess that won`t be THAT tough afterall.. xD ..)
Get bill and tom in some action ( not a DIRTY action.. ) .. I mean in some robbery.. in somethin` dangerous .. in some crime scene where tom could be shown in the light of Superman/Batman/Spiderman/EdCullen (the last one could hardly be called a super hero... {{that`s because he is MY hero.. :d :D lOL}} BACK TO MY POINT.. again -__-' .. ) aaaand when there is danger.. intimacy could not be excused..
well.. this is the EASIEST way I could think of.. I bet there are a lot other ways.. but for that case.. someone with bigger imagination should answer ur question ;]]
as for the chapters `till this one.. I LOVE IT.. I don`t know about U GUYZ .. but I felt so.. I can`t describe it.. it was so loving and warm the way they kissed...
ugh sometimes I can`t believe what a hopeless romantic I could get WHEN I`M DRUNK ..
[not giving any more details] ... bye ..! lotsa luuv =]
-Steph *
Author's Response: Not an iPhone, an iPod touch - It has a lot of the same things as the iPhone except I can't call anyone with it. Lol. I use it mostly to get onto the internet when I am kicked off of the laptop. I end up on it til late at night, early the next morning. Ooopsies. ^^ Oooo thank you soo much for the nice review, hunn. :) Makes me smile.
Date: 11/02/08 05:55 pm Title: [16] Beneath the Stars
Curious as to see where this goes :)
Author's Response: Thank you for the review hunn. :)
Date: 11/02/08 02:54 pm Title: [16] Beneath the Stars
It's time to completely break up with Kayen.
Next time Bill and Tom see each other, Bill can look miserable and confused or something, and then Tom gets him so far that Bill tells him everything about Kayen. And then Tom tells something about himself. That might break the ice?
You've already done pretty well, I like this story.
Author's Response: Yes it is time. Now I just got to figure out how. I think I have somewhat of a clue now with the release of the new chapter. :P
Date: 10/28/08 02:16 pm Title: [1] Bill
LO LO LO LOVE this story!
Seriously, I don't think I read a story of Bill working in a sex shop before this. It's so great!
Please update soon (A)
Author's Response: Hee-hee. Thaank you soo much. I'm having a blast writing it. I didn't imagine this would be so popular. Makes me happy because this story is doing better than anything I've ever written before. ^^ Thank you for the review. *hugs*
Date: 10/27/08 07:15 pm Title: [16] Beneath the Stars
banner is gorgeous!^^
"Discovering your son is gay doesn’t automatically mean it's time to go all hell-joy at Princess Party Palace in hopes to get the daughter you never had."
lol @ that line xD
let them go on a date!
Man you write from your ipod 0_o wow, that's so cool!
Author's Response: Thank you. ^^ Lol. Yea I found that line pretty amusing - So I wrote it. :P Yea, I have an iTouch so when I am kicked off the computer for the night I just sign onto my iPod and type it up on there. I have an option of emailing it to myself from the Notepad on there so I can post it when I get back onto my computer. :) It's time consuming, but it works.
Date: 10/27/08 06:29 pm Title: [16] Beneath the Stars
Oh this was so cute ^^
Author's Response: Thank you. :)
Date: 10/27/08 05:59 pm Title: [16] Beneath the Stars
AH I think Bill should just leave! lol or no kick Kayen out and send him to his girlfriends house! lol thats what I'd do! hmm no idea how you're going to break the ice with them. Tom will figure out how, thats all I know.
Author's Response: Bill is going to get him back for what he's doing. :P Hee-hee. Hmm .. I'mma' have to keep thinkin' then.
Date: 10/27/08 05:13 pm Title: [16] Beneath the Stars
i still think kayen is cheating on him......... Can't wait 4 next chappie!!!
Author's Response: You think so? Lol, me too. ^^ Thanks for the comment hunni.
Date: 10/27/08 10:11 am Title: [16] Beneath the Stars
I love your banner =D And I love this chapter ^^ Bill should have taking his mobile with him bleh...How to break the ice...Bill gets all emotional (as usual xP) and runs to Tomi...then he tells him everything and admits that he likes him...and that after a few chapters from now :P I hope you continue soon ^^
xx Chi
Author's Response: I plan to start right away. :) Thanks for the review.
Date: 10/27/08 10:03 am Title: [16] Beneath the Stars
I love the banner!
Okay, breaking the ice:
Have Kayen and Bill fighting, and have Tom like walk in or something, and then have Kayen go to hit Bill, but then have Tom stop him and beat the shit out of him. Then Bill can be like "Oh you protected my honour!" LOL! And have them kiss and get together like that. :P
Author's Response: Ooo. Maybe, maybe. Thank you for that. :Prn
Date: 10/27/08 09:53 am Title: [1] Bill
ack.. and I forgot to say I liked the banner!
Author's Response: Thank you. :)
Date: 10/27/08 09:53 am Title: [16] Beneath the Stars
Poor Bill.. I hope Kayne doesn't get that phone and break it before Bill realizes Tom called him.. The again Kayne strikes me as the scream 'who is this Tom guy who keeps calling' type...
Author's Response: Kayen is a buttmuch. :P Haha
Date: 10/27/08 12:33 am Title: [16] Beneath the Stars
I love this story. One of the top five long ones I've read. Please update soon.
Author's Response: OMG! Realli?? Thank you so much, that's so nice of you to say. ^^ *giggle*
Date: 10/26/08 11:27 pm Title: [12] A Walk In The Park
Yes! Snail's pace! Hot sex please.
Author's Response: Hot sex is coming. :) I'm just as eager for it as you. LOL
Date: 10/26/08 10:59 pm Title: [9] Just Walk Away
"Backup?! Kay, it's a date! Not The Assassination of Jesse James: Part 2!! haha!
You keep changing the weather from freezing cold to stifling hot. Is this a mistake or are we bypassing large amounts of time between interaations?
Author's Response: Just trying to get across how hot it is in the day, but as well really cold at night.
Date: 10/26/08 10:43 pm Title: [7]
Your transitions in time within and between sections of text are not always perfectly clear. I'm not always positive if a change has taken place, or if it has, how far in the past or future you have jumped.
Author's Response: Yes so I've noticed. When I first uploaded, in the code I left plenty if space, but now its morphed it all together. I have to go back and put clear marks in between instead of spaces. :/ Sorry bout that. Thanks for pointing that out though.
Date: 10/26/08 10:22 pm Title: [6] Bitch!
Hey, where are you from? How old is Bill in your story? Bill has black hair!
What the hell kind of store is this? Why should an employee have to buy the stock?
Author's Response: I purposly haven't specified age yet (not sure if I will), its up to the reader. ^^ Because the boss is a bitch that's why.
Date: 10/26/08 10:14 pm Title: [5] Mr. Shipment Man
Sexy delivery man Tom!
["Is there anything I can help with?" He really hoped the man would say no. The varnish on his nails was still drying; he didn't want to smudge them.]-This perfectly characterizes Bill to Me.
Author's Response: Mmm. Yes. Sexy sexy!! *drool* ^^ Haha, ya, I thought it was perfect for Bill too. We all know how whiney and upset he was when Jumbie got stuck. LOL. Something tells me if he'd just spent a good amount of time doing his nails and then something smudged them, he would be pretty pissed. :D
Date: 10/26/08 09:58 pm Title: [2] Kayen
Good job so far. The plot is interesting, anf I'm already anticipating Tom walking into the shop. I like that you are giving the story a nice long introduction.
Author's Response: Really?!! I'm not rushing it here? *Phew* Thank goodness. ^^ Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate 'em muchly. :3
Date: 10/26/08 07:43 pm Title: [16] Beneath the Stars
ooh! they should share a really embarassing situation together like bill getting mad at him for something mistaken. or bill could do it for revenge, tom finds out, gets mad, big argument then boom! it happens lol. I agree on the whole touch thing. pisses me off most days lmfao.
Author's Response: Hmm. That could work!! Thank you. ^^