Date: 03/11/25 09:29 pm Title: Chapter 1
I am a Chinese fan who came a bit late. Discovering this website is the happiest thing for me in recent years. I used to use bookmarking as commenting. I must say that I have read and bookmarked this story. Reading this story is undoubtedly a pleasure! Today I plan to leave a comment. Thank you for your story. You are an amazing writer.
Date: 08/10/12 06:31 am Title: Chapter 1
it didn't suck,but i think you should have made it more detailed,more complex...
Date: 03/31/10 04:31 am Title: Chapter 1
:O
This did not suck.
It was very sweet and cute and fluffy. It was so simple but at the same time you really grasped how much Tom loves his brother. It was terrifying reading about Bill and how he got hurt, and the way Tom reacted was just precious. The brother bond between them really showed in this.
It was very beautiful, I loved it <3
Date: 12/30/08 09:15 pm Title: Chapter 1
Don't listen to your sister this is great and you said that you don't originally speak english what language do you speak
Author's Response: oh thank you! :D yeah, i speak finnish. :)
Date: 09/26/08 07:09 pm Title: Chapter 1
i like ur story its good and i hope u will do more.
Author's Response: thanks :D i've been thinking of a new story, let's see what happens :)
Date: 08/11/08 01:16 am Title: Chapter 1
It didn't. When I started writing fics my English was WAY worse than this. Good thing I got better! Anyways. I did stop a few mitsakes, but nothing big, nothing that made me want to stop reading.
Now, about the actual story, I loved it. I think it's the thing I like the most in a fic, when the twins say they'll never have to be alone because they have each other. I find that so cute and it's not even fiction, just look at them in interviews or something, they do have each other. And I find that so very beautiful and I am jealous.
I just loved it.
Author's Response: I so much agree with you about the twins! I've always wanted to have a twin XD And thank you, thank you, thank you. :D
Date: 08/10/08 11:22 pm Title: Chapter 1
Very nice! Well not "nice" as it was heart wrenching to feel Tom's worry and sorrow, but luckily it ended well :) Waiting more to read from you!
Technically, it was a bit confusing at some parts before I realized that some lines were song lyrics - maybe you shoul consider changing the to Italics, just to be more clear? No biggie problem that, though.
Author's Response: Ooh thank you :)) yeah well, as I said I tried but... well at least I tried :D
Date: 08/10/08 08:12 pm Title: Chapter 1
Your sister was wrong - that's such a sweet, wonderful story! :) Your English is really good too!
Author's Response: thanks 8) I'm glad you liked it ^^
Date: 08/09/08 11:50 pm Title: Chapter 1
Pffft that's what she thinks. I love it! :D
Author's Response: thank you, thank you! :D
Date: 08/09/08 09:59 pm Title: Chapter 1
I loved this! I've only read a very few fics in second person. I spotted some mistakes, but it was mostly that the dialogues were all together and that was a little confusing when reading. It's easier if you put one dialogue per line.
But your English is great! And the way you write is really good. I found myself not being able to stop reading, which is hard since I ADD all over the place! But yes, looooved it.
Author's Response: Thanks :D Yeah, I tried to edit the text but my computer didn't like the idea and shut down. When I tried again (with the song words), it freezed completely and I decided not to fight with it anymore. So, I hope you'll forgive me :)
Date: 08/09/08 07:15 pm Title: Chapter 1
That was such a sweet story! I think you did a wonderful job with this...it doesn't seem as if this is your first story at all!
Author's Response: thank you :))
Date: 08/09/08 07:07 pm Title: Chapter 1
Pfft. It doesn't suck! ^^
For a non-native English speaker, that was pretty damned good! ^^
I liked the plot too! Tres cute! ^^
It's really really good ^^
Author's Response: oh you have no idea how worried I was about the language! THANK YOU :D
Date: 08/09/08 06:30 pm Title: Chapter 1
aw... the ending was so sweet
Author's Response: Thanks ^^
Date: 08/09/08 02:57 pm Title: Chapter 1
It was cute. I liked it. (Ignore your sister. My brother hates the ones I've posted, too.)
Author's Response: Thanks 8) and oh, i will :D
Date: 08/09/08 02:30 pm Title: Chapter 1
Ohh darling, what a nice story!
I must say, this was a really good fiction itself, but for being a first try... hell, you're good! I must say your sister should give this a better look ;)
I really liked the idea and the tension this gave me, though I feel like I must give you some advice, if you want to post again on the site - and please, do it, you've got talent :)
- when it's a songfic, I think you should put the lyrics in Italics, so that they're better recognizable.
- dialogues should go line by line, block after block, so that it's more fluent and understandable (even though it was very understandable here too :) it's just that people here don't like walls of text.
There! All you have to know for a first try! My compliments again :) and girl, you actually didn't need a beta ;) I spotted two mistakes at all :)
GOOD JOB!
-Silvia.
Author's Response: Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I'll keep this in mind :D
Date: 08/09/08 02:21 pm Title: Chapter 1
Aww.
'You were right there, I could see you, touch you, feel you – but you were too far to reach.'
That was so sad.
Very nicely written :-)
Author's Response: you're making my day better here. thank you! :)