Date: 01/11/11 12:07 pm Title: Permission
this is really good. i honestly think you should finish it. i love how honest it is about Bill's condition, and you describe the entire process so well- from the giddiness at the beggining, to the bliss in the middle and the disgust at the end. it's so real and honest, and i really really think you should finish this.
Date: 07/14/10 12:02 am Title: Prologue
I usually HATE stories about Bill being angsty about his father, but yours was different. I could feel Bill's pain and it brought tears to my eyes. Love it!
Date: 07/14/10 12:01 am Title: Prologue
I usually HATE stories about Bill being angsty about his father, but yours was different. I could feel Bill's pain and it brought tears to my eyes. Love it!
Date: 01/21/09 10:33 am Title: Prologue
hey rainbow! i really miss reading your updates. this story is so amazing, as is your other. i hope you come back soon and grace us all with another lovely chapter to one, or both!, of your stories!
Date: 12/15/08 05:52 pm Title: Permission
Your wirting skills are nothing short of amazing and your characters and their motives, perfect. Please update.
Date: 09/13/08 09:51 am Title: Permission
Nothing can let us think that Jorg abused of Bill in the past... But Bill is clearly sick and I can't figure out why yet... Hatred because his father left? No, that can't be JUST that ! Tom seems to be ok. That's just Bill. And I wonder what exactly happened since I can't be sure right now !
Date: 09/12/08 07:19 pm Title: Prologue
I can't wait to know more about this... There is obiously MORE than just dislike now. But we don't really know yet what Bill has been through... or if he has really been through something! I'm gonne read the first chapter tomorrow... It's already 1.20 am in France and I feel like sleeping right now ^^
Date: 09/11/08 01:37 am Title: Permission
that's spectacularly horrific. have you struggled with an eating disorder? because you captured it perfectly.
Date: 08/21/08 11:36 am Title: Permission
You have this rare talent of having the reaction of the reader built right into your words. The feelings you want us to feel? Woven right into the very letters of your writing.
This is so painful to read. So... sad and preventable and inavoidable and hopeless and yet not without hope. But unfortunately I see no light at the end of this dark tunnel any time soon.
The cold rationality in which Bill views his sickness is streched by the abject denial of its seriousness. He's pushed people away, people who haven't really bothered to pry a bit deeper, listen a little longer to his silences and figure out that there is someone broken, confused and crying for help.
Isn't that how it always starts?
You've broken my heart, truly, because like I said, you can tell there will be no help coming for Bill any time soon. He's going to get hurt, and think himself justified in his pain. Hell, he already does.
I'm going to stop rambling now. You're doing a beautiful job, and I really hope you continue with this one. Trust me, your talent will get around and people will read. I know I'll continue to do so.
Author's Response: You can't imagine how humbling this is for me, getting such a kind and detailed review from one of my favorite authors. I'm... a little speechless, and all I can really say at this point is 'thank you'....
Date: 08/08/08 02:37 am Title: Permission
wow, amazing. I'm really enjoying the style of this story, going from past to present effortlessly and beautifully. It's wonderful and I can't wait for more.
Date: 08/07/08 12:52 pm Title: Permission
I don't have a personal experience with bulimia, but I do know what it feels to be out of control with something. You did such an amazing job in this chapter portraying that. It really got to me, shook me up to read this because those the emotions and the things that went through Bill's head felt so realistic.
I think you really showed people that this story is dealing with a very, very serious subject - it's not just about slash or dramatic perceptions of delicate subjects. It's perturbing, ugly, upsetting... It feels real.
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Kadaver. You're an amazingly talented writer when it comes to 'upsetting' topics (Authority will be forever burned in my mind as one of the most disturbingly real stories I've read on here), so hearing from you in this particular fic is very gratifying. Thank you.
Date: 08/07/08 12:32 pm Title: Permission
omg ;__; this is an amazing story and you're an amazing writer. I love what you're delivering in this story and how you're doing it. I'd say more, but I'm in too much shock at your amazingness ._.
Date: 08/07/08 12:28 pm Title: Permission
I love how you explain things so good, you make me feel the same thing as Bill does. It's brilliant.
Date: 08/07/08 11:38 am Title: Prologue
;__; this is depressing... but I like it because it has a good start and it's very well written ^^
Date: 08/02/08 02:11 pm Title: Prologue
This story is really good so far can't wait for the next chapter.
Date: 08/02/08 01:28 pm Title: Prologue
When I clicked on this one, I didn't expect the story to start like this.
Even though more people write about this topic, you have a very original aproach to it. A more realistic one. And that's good, because I can easly relate to Bill, and I think other people can too. ;)
When's the next update going to be?
Author's Response: As always, thank you so much for writing and for your kind comments. Specifics related to realism are... a promised flattery Aha. You stating that you relate to Bill, and that others can, just the same, depresses me a bit. I've known so many people in my life without dependable father figures and it's so unfortunate... (if that was, indeed, what you were talking about). Well... Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. The next update may take anywhere from a few days to a week, depending on how much time I have to really set focus on my work. I dislike just jotting something out and posting it.
rnrnThank you for asking, and I'm terribly sorry I don't have a solid answer for you just yet.
Date: 08/02/08 12:52 pm Title: Prologue
Very, very, good. I usually don't read slash because I hate twincest, I don't think it's right - even though it is very hot. Anyway... I love how you decribed the realtionship between Bill and his father. It makes the story even more iteresting. The pairing between Jorg and Bill always interests me and I know that this story will be a very good one.
I've had an eating disorder and you are extremely right about that. People just make it sound so...UGH! You can't descibe how horrible they make it sound. You would never want to have an eating disorder because it rips you apart. It makes you want to be perfect and you never feel right. I'm very excited to see how you'll write that.
But anyway, amazing story. I can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: First of all, I just wanted to tell you how flattered I am to know that someone that isn't particularly taken by slash came and chose to read this story. It's very... rewarding, I think I'll say, and I want to thank you for giving it a chance. Thank you, also, for your kind comments regarding the story as a whole. Everything you said made me smile. Thank you.
rnrnHowever... I think, in regards to the topic of eating disorders, you may find future chapters a little disappointing. You see, this particular fic will not be catering toward the eating disorders of anorexia and ED-NOS. There will be little to no mention of 'someone wanting to be perfect' and will never, if I can avoid it, put any serious focus on the topic of body image. Instead, the focus will be set primarily on the behavior of compulsive-overeating, food addiction, and compensation for food consumption (mainly, self-induced vomitting); purely for comfort purposes. There will be no mention of calories and hardly anything said about weight. (In a nut-shell, Bill will be abusing the chemicals in food to self-medicate. Anything beyond that is null.)
rnrnThat said, this may not be the 'eating disorder' fic you may have been looking for. I'm sorry. But thank you for taking the time to leave your comments.
Date: 08/02/08 12:38 pm Title: Prologue
You know, I could say you've made my day with this little gem, but it'd be far too little praise for what you've actually accomplished. The last few days in the fandom have been hell for me because I've been bombarded with stories so banal and superficial and just, crappy. You've reinforced my hope in that good writing really does still exist.
You started with the mention of two important issues so I'll start with them too. I'm not reading this for the pairing, though I admit I'm very curious to see how you pan their relationship out. And as for the part concerning eating disorders: thank you. I sincerely mean that and I will most definitely hold you to it. Never having had an eating disorder myself, its been hard for me to connect with fics that express them - in some I was even left going "that's it?" and I know that's not it, and I know that there's a deep, psychological imbalance that causes it and it's certainly not something to be taken lightly. It's just I haven't read many fics that can incorporate what it truly is - being, a disease.
I hope this story will help shed some light on that.
So, technicalities first, it's pretty simple. You know how to write. That's it. At this point I've become so desensitized to the drivel that I've come across that's the basic thing I look for, and you have it. I can't get a foothold on your style yet - it's not lyrical but its not quite simple either; an easy mix of the two I suppose that makes it a pleasure to read. I'm not sure if you write that way on purpose or if it just pours out like that but one big thing I noticed was that the dialogue doesn't seem like a break in the story. It advances the story, doesn't halt it, which makes it flow beautifully.
As for the plot and characterizations, I'll admit I was surprised at how you portrayed Jorg. I guess from the thought of it being a Jorg/Bill fic I expected you to... soften his character. Make him more likeable, approachable, so the coming relationship would make more sense, but you didn't. I'm not sure how I like that just yet. I like it in the sense that you don't make things easy for yourself - it'll be a tough ride, I'm guessing both to read and write, and conflict is a cornerstone of any relationship so this is perfectly realistic. But on the other hand, I see Angst looming around the corner. I hate that critter. D:
But you've got me so intrigued I can ignore it and pretend it doesn't exist for the time being (Denial ain't just a river in Egypt, you know?) because I think most of all I love your characterization of Bill. It's not very often at all that we get to see a bitter, angry side to him, and I really want to see you flesh out what glimpse you gave us of that in this chapter.
I think this could become something brilliant. And we really do need more brilliance these days, so please oblige.
Keep writing, and I'll keep reading. Much love,
Ella
Author's Response: Reading this review creating a multitude of different feelings of me--one, complete and uttery flattery by the details and specifics you pointed out, making my face the color of a tomato! (I'm glad no one was around, because they would wonder why I was sitting and fanning myself off in a room that was probably negative twenty-degrees fahrenheit.) Another, excitement. I was so happy to hear from someone who would be willing to state their exact feelings on what was written--good or bad, and it motivated me just that much more, to fully apply myself to the next chapter.
rnrnAbout the characterization of Jorg--I hope you weren't too thrown off by the way in which he was villanized in this part of the story. My intentions were to put the focus on Bill and the way he perceived his father, and being what he remembered about his childhood, it seemed only right for him to have a 'black and white' perspective on Jorg. He will not be this two-dimensional throughout the rest of the story, I promise. (This perspective will bear many parrallels with the topic of an eating disorder. With any luck, the similarities will not be too obvious, nor so hidden that no one would be able to make sense of it in the end. Again... with any luck.)
rnrnI hope with what this story ultimately involves into, you wouldn't be disappointed.
rnrnThank you again for your intensely kind and specific comments. I was very taken with each and every one of them, and will take what little points of constructive criticism you offered to heart, and apply when possible. You're absolutely wonderful. Thank you.