Date: 08/10/08 03:36 pm Title: The fifth chapter
What is up with he pineapple????
Well, anyway...
A few after thoughts!
I never thought Jorg to be evil in this story, what I meant was, that he let his prejudices hurt both Tom and Bill. He is, as you say, stuck in his own way; in his own upbringing... But we all can learn to adjust to new ways.
I don't really know enough of the real Jorg to form an opinion of him!
The poetic phrasing, wasn't just what Gustav was saying, it was the whole story, maybe with the exception of the first chapter, I don't remember.
It made reading a truly enjoyable experience!
There is a quote from "The Matrix" that would fit, but I'm not sure it would be appropriate to say here...
It would be hot, the whole sex slave thing, IF, and only if, Bill had his free will, to chose when and were he would give it up to Tom!
What I said about the first chapter...
I didn't mean anything towards you, it was just my reaction to the whole notion of slavery! It was difficult to read!
I meant what i said in the first review!
You REALLY are getting better at writing, not that you were bad before, just that you are improving on all levels...
You make me curious to what you will write next... :)
When are the next chapter of "The Kaulitz residence" coming? No rush, just me asking!
You have me confused... Is it Luce or Lucy???
Oh.. BTW I didn't understand this word, and I can't seem to find it in any dictionary: "achient" Misspelled perhaps?
I could go on and on about this story, it's that good!
If I let myself go, I would probably write a review as long as the story itself, but then you would send the police after me and have me put away in the luny bin for being a total whacko! We can't have that, can we? ;)
Hugs
Anders
Author's Response: the pinapple is an Alva thing, just to check and see if anyone really read my bio ,) it's always fun when someone does ,p about Jorg, I really pictured him being the old school you know? someone who is so tied to his habbits and so afraid of change that he will do just about anything to make himself ignore the fact that the world is about to change. As for the poetry *blushes* I love writing poetry, have written 63 poems, but I really wanted to let that out in my writing as well and this story was just perfect for that. I relly felt as if I could just let my fingers float and carry the story along as they wanted to, it was great xD lol, inapropriate quotes, please fill me in ? never watched the Matrix actually, going to but just havn't had the time (spend to much time on my lap top) and about the Kaulitz recidence, I just need some inspiration. when I write, I write on feeling and if I lose the feeling for a story I just have to wait until I get it back. Hope it wont take long though, it's killin me having wb on hat one. Oh and yeah, my name is Lucy, but everyone calls me Luce, so it's a nicname ,) not really a shortening, but it sounds that way. Lol, achient is supposed to be ancient, as in really old ,) sorry bout that! Really hope you'll like my next xtory, I'm in love with it already ,) thank you so much for this Anders, I appreaciate it A LOT !!! love <3 luce/lucy
Date: 08/09/08 07:24 pm Title: The fifth chapter
(That damn cursor is blinking again...)
In awe...
I don't think I was ready for it to end so soon though... Took me by surprise...
What follows are a review of the whole story beginning at just that...
There... at the beginning... I was not happy, to say the least!
Disgust, repulse and a overwhelming feeling of being dirty for reading it... I felt outraged...
Slavery do not sit well with me, not even the fictional version of it...the mere thought of it makes my blood boil...
And to top it all of... Tom buying Bill to be his sex slave! NOT hot at all...
That is why it took me so long to decide to continue to read it...
Some said it was a light and airy chapter, but I only found it dark and ominous...
But... It was very well written! And in a twisted sense i fond it intriguing... and it was challenging me... I knew that you always write really good story's with happy endings... I just could not see any, at that point... sorry! :(
Again, I must say that you should feel proud, that you managed to get me all rallied up like that... Not many writers have managed that... ;)
I later learned that you probably have same view that I have, on the whole matter of slavery.
Stupid me, I should have known that all along...
In the second chapter you put some of my worries to rest, and I was happy to see Tom treat Bill with kindness. Especially after revealing Bill's childhood...
Not much to say really, about that chapter, except the sex was nice! There had to be some sex, after all... Bill was a sex slave... But it wasn't brutal rape or commanding from Tom's side! That was nice...
Third chapter: Three weeks has passed in the story and I started to relax... Only to find Tom rejecting the whole notion of love, just because Bill were a SLAVE... " A bloody slave, Dad?"
And I felt like I had to take back the words I said about Jorg in the first review...
Bastard....
BUT... Tom coming out as homosexual and defying his father, was rather fantastic, YAY!!!! :D
(had it anything to do with little old me?)
I liked Gustav a lot! He did not see or treat Bill as a slave at any time!
The whole flower/love analogy were marvellous! :)
This chapter is also were the words really start to fall like poetry from your pen... fingers... keyboard... (What ever) And it became such a pleasure to read.
Chapter four: Time's moving on... The fall arrives and the story just gets fluffy and so, so, romantic! The talk and the consequent proposal were sweet and heart-warming!
And, in the beginning of the chapter, it was very nice to see that Bill were treated so kindly by the other staff!
On to the fifth and final chapter!
It is probably the best and most romantic chapter you have ever written!
After all, it is a wedding!!!
Not even the meting between Bill and Jorg could make it anything but romantic!
The setting of the white winter wedding with snow and all... just perfection! Made me almost squeal of happiness!!!
BIG Smile! Big Smile! :D
The snow falling on Bill making it seem like he was covered in diamonds...
Big Smile... And a huge Awwww...
I want to have such a wedding...
But...
"The clear stars of wintertime blinked on the midnight-blue sky above them."
And...
"Then it began to snow"
It clouded over pretty quickly, didn't it?
But, then again... maybe the Gods intervened...
End of review!
A huge THANK YOU for this one!
I am eternally grateful that I stuck with the story till the end!
I don't think you have ever written anything with such poetic phrasing before?
I would like to say much more, but I'm very tired right now, so I will just end with:
Give me more story's like this one! Please!!!!!!!!
And sorry I doubted you in the beginning!
Thank you!
Yours
Anders
P.s I'm honoured you mentioned me in your resume!
And... Pineapple! D.s
Author's Response: that is...the biggest review I have ever recieved OO and I am so extreemly GRATEFUL !!! oh my GOD you spoil me xD shit! gosh, okay, I agree with everything you said on slavery, it being HORRIBLE and foul and unhuman, exept one thing, Tom having Bill as his sex slave...*whispers* that's hot *hides* okay, moving on! about Jorg, in the beggining I really wanted him to be a nicer version of what my Jorgs tend to be ,) but I don't know, I don't think he ever really turned evil or anything because his prejudice was all because of the world he lived in and the way he had learned to live. So I don't know, didn't like him all that much, but didn't blame him too bad either. Lol, Tom coming out as homosexual xD I just had to write it, it was inevitable. And I'm so happy you liked Gustav in this! I really wanted to write something a little more poetic and achient than what I normally write and his character just gave me that opportunity! oO I seriously didn't notice the weather thing! I think that was me getting far to caught up in writing that I didn't see the logic (or rather lack of it) when it all came down to it, but yeah, we'll just say that it was holy intervention ,) I have a feeling you will like my new story as it will be longer than this one and rather...original (at least I hope so) thank you so, so much for reviewing me !!! much love <3 luce (pinapple)
Date: 08/09/08 05:07 pm Title: The fourth chapter
The bad feelings I had at the beginning of this story, are slowly fading away!
The deep frown is turning into a shy smile :)
I am happy I decided to continue to read!
It was touch and go there at the beginning... Reasons for that will be reviled at a later time.
So far it is a beautiful and peaceful story, written with a subtle poetic fragrance that leaves you with a desire for more...
Thank you!
Author's Response: *blushes* and you say I write poetic ,) I'm really happy the story is growing on you, I hoped it would. I realize the subject can be a little tough, but you know me, the end is always good ,)
Date: 08/09/08 04:08 pm Title: The third chapter
(The cursor is blinking at the top of the page)
(It is doing so, because I am at a loss for words)
It really is a story that makes my feelings run amok... And not always in a good way...
(Be proud of that... Over the course of 10 years of reading story's on the Net, it's you and two others who have achieved that)
But rest assured... I like it! :)
A lot!!!!!
Author's Response: wow, you serious ? that's a big honor, I must say so ,) I hope you will enjoy it in the end though, really do! love <3
Date: 08/09/08 03:46 pm Title: The fifth chapter
Thank you for this story.
I loved it, it was all sweet and adorable.
Author's Response: awww, thank you so much, that means a lot to me <3 luce
Date: 08/09/08 02:48 pm Title: The second chapter
It is getting easier to read so I will continue...
It is very well written, it almost feels like poetry...
Thank you!
Author's Response: poetry was what I was aiming for ,) thanks, you know it means a lot to me !
Date: 08/09/08 12:31 pm Title: The fifth chapter
Hey luce!
OOOOOOOOOOH, it's over. *sob* Damn that's to bad. This story was so lovely romantic and full of smut =D and I totally adored it :-p
All though I would have liked more chapters I really adore a sweet love story that is as nicely written as yours ;-) Your brilliant you know that right =D
Oh and I will mail her again.
But well I'll mail you when I do okey, gotta ask you something ;-)
Anyway as for they last chapter that was *sigh* so romantic I almost melted at the spot =D
"Where anyone could get flowers this time of year, Jorg did not know. But all the same, the white roses were there."
After reading it again I see more to this sentence :-p Because Jorg does not see love when it's right in front of him ;-) All though he does not see, it doesn't main it isn't there ;-) I probable read to much in this sentence but it makes me think ;-)
"“Tom will find another, Bill, he is capable of loving someone else…” Jorg paused a moment, knowing his words would sting. “…someone better.”"
Grrr, I want to hit him. Like some people or better than others. But I know he just said what he believe it's still very heartless towards Bill. *slap him*
He said that Bill didn't deserves anything, that was just cold O_o
"“You know yourself, my Lord. And you expect your sons to be just like you, but they’re not, and maybe it’s time for you to ask them why.” With that, Bill rose from his seat, making his way over to the door without so much as a second glance in Jorg’s direction."
Jeah, way to go Bill. Serves him right ^^ I hope it gave him something to think about!Because I know he loves his son ;-)
"“Do you really think I can make him happy, Gustav?” Tom looked up from the table with big eyes, it was almost heartbreaking to see how much in love the boy was, but in a good way."
Like aaaauw, he is so cute XD *squeeze him* I love how you gave Tom such an innocent look ^^
"The clear stars of wintertime blinked on the midnight-blue sky above them."
I just had to highlight this, beautifully sad ^^
"“I love you ,Tom.” Bill tilted his head farther as the dread-head’s mouth traveled a hot path down his neck, kissing and sucking, bound to make marks. Tom’s tongue flicked out, tasting the skin and Bill practically mewled."
That was like the perfect combination of love and hotness in this scene. ^^
"“God, I love you.” Tom pressed a desperate kiss to Bill’s lips, laying down on the smooth, firm body beneath him and feeling how every limb fitted into each other perfectly where he rested between Bill’s spread legs."
Is it hot in here or what :-p I love the way you described there lovemaking. It just seems so perfect ^^
“But now,” Tom’s hand placed itself on Bill’s chest, right over his heart. “Now, this is mine.”
OOooh, *dreamy look* again:-p you made me do that a lot through this fic ^^
That really a beautiful way for Tom to say that know there heart belong to each other and there equals now ;-)
"“I’m yours, Tomi, always.” Bill kissed the dreadlocked boy’s lips passionately, whispering softly into the kiss. “And you are mine, as well.”"
That's just what I mean ^^ Now they belong together and not only Bill to Tom. Bill can have Tom as well ;-)
"And one of those snowflakes fell onto a rose. But the rose didn’t wilt, the snowflake melted."
O_o really Wow, I love your choice of words this ending was just beautiful you know ;-)
And again thanks for writing this ^^
I'm looking forward to reading your new story =D oh jeah before I forget Pineapple! =D I like the poem at the beginning at your bio, really how to you come up with it ^^
*BIG hugs*
-xXx-
Author's Response: weeeeeee *squeals of happiness* long review xD mail away darling, I'll be here until thursday ,) I'm so glad you're able to see Jorg from differnt sides cus I really tried to make him...well I don't know actually. I just didn't want him to be completely bad, but not too good either. Like he was raised in a bad way and didn't dare to fight his believes, but that he cares a lot about the people around him. and LOL to Tom being the sweet and goofy love struck teddy bear he is ,) that is just too damn cute xD *blushes* God, reading my lovemaking scenes in your review, I feel dirty !!! lol, but in a good way (if there even is such a thing) so thank you for that ,) God, I'm so happy you saw the whole belonging to EACH OTHER and being equals and stuff, tried to highlight that ,)awwwwwww PINAPPLE xD lol thanks girl, didn't really expect anyone to read it ,) happy that you did and thanks about the poem! love ya girl (mail me soon about the thing you wanted to ask me about?) lots of hugs <3 luce
Date: 08/09/08 03:38 am Title: The fifth chapter
firelucy! As with all your works, you are creative and sweet. I want to give you some constructive criticism and I'm only saying these things because I want to take your writing to a whole other level. At Chapter 3, I thought you had everything spot on. You built up the story very nicely -- there was tension, drama, and real potential. Just when I thought you were going to raise the bar, you played it safe. While I love your works, I was anticipating you to work with your characters and really get inside their heads; it would've given you more complexity and allowed more chapters. In any case, I did enjoy reading this a lot. Thank you very much :)
Author's Response: I always feel really honored when someone cares enough to want to help me, so I'm gonna start off with a big thank you! I know I played it safe as I tend to do that with all my stories. I'm still learning and after writing the more light hearted fluff stories for a while I've just recently began exploring the depth one can put to stories. I can promise you that for the next big story I am going to write I will use your advice and not back down when I feel I'm getting to close for comforts, one time's gotta ne the first right ,) I'll maybe wright a couple of more lighthearted stories and one shots before giving a try at something a little darker. Hope in many ways you will find your way to that story, I'm very gratefull though, it really helps to get constructive criticism every now and then and this piece of advice is something I am absolutely going to follow, thank you !
Date: 08/09/08 12:03 am Title: The fifth chapter
This was an amazing story I loved every bit of it and you are an amazing writer. I loved it so much I can't wait to read more from you.
Author's Response: thank you so, so much ! that means the world to me <3 hope you will like my next xtories as well !
Date: 08/08/08 09:54 pm Title: The fifth chapter
Pineapple! I used to hate pineapple, but one night I was really hungry and there just happened to be some pineapple cut and ready on the counter so I ate a piece and now...I love it.
And I love you, Luce! But I can't believe it's over. It just began! I even sent an entry to try and feature this fic, but I didn't know it was going to be over so soon. D:
I must say though, you ended this magnificently. The whole chapter was just beautiful. The heated conversation between Bill and Jorg was so intense. The description of Tom and Bill's winter wedding was just stunning. And of course the end scene, where Bill and Tom ~*make love*~ for the first time as man and...Man? =P Phenomenally, breath taking.
How do you do it Luce? How do your words flow so smoothly, every description like poetry? Now of course you don't have to explain. These are just my rhetorical questions that help you to see what I see when I read what you write, because the writer doesn't always see what the reader does. ;D
I hope you do become a writer and I wouldn't be surprised if you did because you are obviously, as I read, very passionate about it and very amazing at, if I may say.
Just a random question, do you prefer to write in English or your native tongue? Because I think you told me English is not your first language, so I was wondering whether there was a reason or you just write in English because that's what many people speak, and of course this site is in English.
Anyway, I can't wait for the new story you have for us. I am very excited as to what you came up with this time Luce. ;)
Have a great weekend wherever you're off to. =)
Committed and addicted...always,
Andi
ps. Thank you for the mention in your bio, made me smile =) And sorry for no updates, I'm working on a new three parted fic for my best friend as a present because she's on exchange in Denmark D: =) so look out for that!
pps. Oh! And did you say you lived in Norway, because I'm going on a trip there next summer because my best friend's sister's wedding. She moved there from Canada because she met someone there. =) Just a random thought I thought I'd share with you. =P
Author's Response: oh my God, Andi <3 you do wierd things to my heart girl! first off THANK YOU and what am I thanking you for? well, lets see: the pinapple, reading my bio and all of that ,), trying to feature my fic OMG that is so SO sweet of you!!! LOVE you for that, for reviewing in a way that makes me blush from head to toe ,p, for saying all that stuff about poetry now that meant A LOT to me !, and omg the comment about me becoming a writer that is über cute of you (I wonder if I can) THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU good God, you're spoiling me xD oh and yeah, I love writing in English, I don't write good in norvegian, it just dosn't...flow you know ? lol and I really hope you'll like my new story, it's my baby at the moment ,p looking forward to the new fic, but I still want my update and sequel girl ,) and yes, I live in norway, hope you'll like the country although I have to admit thatI'm getting rather sick of it ,) lol and hope that the wedding is indoors as we tend to have rather...shifting weather xD much love <3 yours luce
Date: 08/08/08 07:54 pm Title: The fifth chapter
Lucy, this last chapter was beautiful. I know I told you all this, but again, I feel like I need to say it in public.
The imagery was gorgeous. The setting for the wedding almost made me wish I'd had mine in the winter.
This was so beautifully written, I was sorry to see it end. Thank you so much, again, for sharing your writing with us. It truly brightens my day.
Author's Response: oh Mel <3 you do realize this means so, so much to me right ? I mean, I can say that it means the world to me and people'll roll their eyes and say 'yeah right'. But it really does mean a lot. It's a way for me to explore and search for something inside myself and express some of my sides that I could never show in real life. So it does mean the world to me, just not the world I'm living in ,) much love <3 yours luce
Date: 08/08/08 03:55 pm Title: The fifth chapter
OMG! I AM SO SORRY I DIDN'T REVIEW ALL THE CHAPTERS. I was on vacation lol. I'M SORRY!!!! But this story...God, it's...A-FREAKIN'-MAZING! I loved every little word of it!!
I must admit, I was scared you were gonna make a sad ending but that happy ending made me one happy twincest fan. and a fan of YOU! seriously, this was amazing and i loved it. your writing is amazing :).
Author's Response: LOL girl stop apologizing ,) you are totally forgiven because of this great review xD thank you so much! lol and yeah, I could have ade the ending sad, but that's just not me, I don't have the heart for it ,) hugs
Date: 08/08/08 03:44 pm Title: The fifth chapter
omg amazingly cute i cnt beleave jorg would try to make Bill feel like he would make Tom sad or w/e wut a douche i loved it
Author's Response: I have no idea what a douche is, but I totally agree with you ,p thank you so much for reviewing !
Date: 08/08/08 03:16 pm Title: The fifth chapter
*wipes tears and bursts out crying again* I-I-I...I love happy endings..! *sob* ... so b-beautiful..!
OMG I LOVE U LUCY! *glomps u*
THANKS GOD U HAVE UR INTERNET BACK!
I was missing ur heart melting stories already!!!! ^///^
*jumps happily* they got married, they got married!!!! *sings*
Author's Response: LOL and I've been missing your beautiful (and slightly...okay, very crazy) reviews xD girl I don't even know how I've been managing without you ! *joins you in jumping around* and I've got a new story for you girl ,)
Date: 08/08/08 02:45 pm Title: The fifth chapter
God Luce,
you took my breath away girl
i thought that you are leaving the site.
Oh i just trembled reading your bio.
thank god:))
Babe
that story is one of my favorites of yours.
i admired every word, every scene that rolled in front of my eyes so real.
i adrmired the last cpt cause of the beautiful honey night of the boys.
i always love your unique way to write love scenes and sex scenes .
i felt the anger of Bill during the conversation with tom s dad
and i always can smell the vanilla because of you:))
love ya my girl for that treasure that you wrote.
i hope to have a great weekend
i ll miss ya so much
i ll waiting for u for agessssss.
take care hun
yours
chris
p.s. almost forget it
i love your responses too , your last in my review was just a poem:)
Author's Response: You know Chris, you take my breath away…makes me sad that I can’t always stay…it’s like you’re always here for me…make me believe that I can write poetry…so thank you, for always reviewing me…it’s too hard writing without you, you see…and you know, I’ll always be there for you…cus baby know that I love you, too !
Date: 08/08/08 01:33 pm Title: The fifth chapter
D'awwwww... *hugs you*
That was way too cute!
Author's Response: oh thank you so, so much !!!
Date: 08/08/08 09:38 am Title: The fifth chapter
I can't believe that I missed this o_O"
Anyway. It was so sweet. I'm also happy that Gustav played an important role in this!
Oh, and I wanted to tell you that I really don't like pineapples... :D
Author's Response: lol, I love Gustav, and pinapples ,) thanks for this and for reading my bio ,) loves <3 luce
Date: 08/08/08 08:58 am Title: The fifth chapter
aw..I loved the last sentence, where you were like refering to what Gustav had said earlier:D so sad it's over=( loved it^^ and looking forward to the new story! =)
Author's Response: so SO happy you got the point with the last sentence, I have a thing for endings ,) thanks you so much for this and I really hope you'll like the new story !
Date: 08/08/08 08:27 am Title: The fifth chapter
Such a perfect end! *-*
I liked how Bill spoke to Jorg! Fortunately, he has character! ^^ *loves him*
Awwwwwww~ nervous!Tom was just adorable! ^^ This moment with Gustav was just too cute!
The wedding under the snow! *melts*
The atmosphere was soooo romantic! *-*
And in their chambers! *giggles* So cute!
And as the two newlyweds made love in the faint glow of the fireplace among the silken sheets of Tom’s bed, the snow whirled outside the window. It was carried on a soft breeze, sending it dancing through the air before it fell down towards the ground again.
And one of those snowflakes fell onto a rose. But the rose didn’t wilt, the snowflake melted.
*-* So sweet and beautiful! *melts once again*
Maybe I would have hoped for an epilogue (just to know what is going to happen to Georg, Gustav, Jorg, and Bill and Tom of course after that --> I was just wondering, is Tom going to free Bill ? because in this end, he's still officially a slave, isn't he?), but it was nice this way too! ^^
I'm really looking forward to reading your next fic! :D
Author's Response: Epilog for Paris: ~*~ As the winter grew on, it became evident that not only Bill and Tom’s newfound happiness was going to grace the Kaulitz mansion with its presence. Georg had soon after the wedding announced his engagement to Lady Lydia and there was much talk going around about Master Gustav and the wonderful Evangeline as well. Lord Jorg had a hard time adapting to the fact that with his new status as Tom’s companion for life, Bill was no longer a slave and would not be treated as one. Simone though had a far better relationship with the newlyweds and had without question accepted Bill’s presence at the table in the main dining hall. And the winter went on, giving Tom and Bill numerous opportunities to make wonderful love before the fireplace. ~*~…and they lived happily ever after, how’s that ,) hope you’ll like my next fic as well girl, much love <3 yours luce
Date: 08/08/08 07:50 am Title: The fifth chapter
Pineapple! Love the story!
Author's Response: lol, thanksies, pinapple ,)