Date: 07/30/08 06:33 pm Title: The second chapter
Hey Luce
Finally I got time to review the second chapter =D me want vacation to :-p
When I came back I immediate read it. I just went straight for my computer . Couldn't stop thinking about it while I worked (which is good so I had something to think about=D)
What can I say about this chapter :-p What else can I say that it was again amazingly written. Yeah I'm running out off compliment ;-)
I love the lyrics at the beginning and ending of they story. I wonder if you thought of it yourself or if it's from a song?
"He would be bought, he would be taken care of and he would obey and spread his legs whenever necessary."
It's pretty sad being a slave for whole your life, can imagine that he didn't like it. It's humiliating.
"He had been through a couple of owners before, always going back to his salesman when his masters got married or grew bored of him. "
That's just awefull. It like you do your best and please them as good as you can while you can get dumbed the next day, it's like having now control over your life whatsoever. They decide what's going to happen to you. This idea just horrifies me a bit. And to think that it's not so long ago that slaves did exist. (lots of thinking here :-p)
"It must have been Bill’s lucky day, though, because the dreadlocked male that had paid up lousy fifty gold for him was certainly not bad looking. He was rather…handsome, Bill decided. "
I would rather like it to that my master is handsome :-p Imagine some creepy old guy that bought him. If that didn't happen already :o
"It seemed Tom was not concerned of what other people thought of him, which was weird considering he was a rich-man’s son and therefore had an image to uphold."
It seems that Bill is very observed but I think he must be so that he's a bit better prepared what will be waiting form him. I think he learns a lot by doing so ;-)
"And judging from Tom’s young age, maybe he would get to stay there for a while if he only behaved. And Bill was good at behaving, if not annoyingly passive."
It's a bit sad that he has to keep in line all the time and not screw up or else he risk being send away. Always he will have to act a bit. Reacting how they want him to, speaking when they ask that of him. Must be hard.
"Tom knew that it wasn’t common for masters to treat their toys with such care, but he thought that Bill deserved it. "
I think Tom's a sweetheart. He's already seeing Bill as a person here, not just a toy. Well that what I'm sensing =D
"It almost made Tom blush a bit."
It's really weird thinking of Tom as the virgin :-p It's cute.
I'm glad that Tom does think about slavery like that and don't just except it. ;-)
Again Simone is so sweet and teasing =D love her character;-)
Love the details off the chamber girl you putt in there ;-) gives us more details =D
"This, of course, surprised him even more, as he had never before enjoyed anyone’s touch all that much."
I loved they way Tom seems to know how to make Bill relax and lure him in. I really happy he now knows that when someone touches you it can feel this good =D
"He could still see hesitation in the young boy’s movements, the lingering knowledge that Bill was not doing this out of his free will hanging over them both."
This was kind of bittersweet actually. The tension between them the heat your captured it good, I don't find they word to described how great I thought it was. Great just doesn't cut it ;-)
"Somehow, it was different with Tom."
Loved how you showed how different Tom was from his former masters ;-)
It's a big dail that Tom said that he wanted Bill to want him. Other men would even have thought of Bill in anyway, they were just after there one pleasure.
The sex scene was just trilling, I actually got goosebumps =D really admire you ;-)
" Bill had never before experienced the pleasure of mutual satisfaction, it wasn’t in a slave’s place to ask for something in return."
Wonder if it's going to cause any trouble.
They ending was just really sweet *sigh*
What else can I say beside that you should continue as soon as you can because I'm despaired to know what will happen. *begs* ^^
Wow this review is quit long ^^ I got some time and thought what better ways to spend it that praise you =D
hihi anyway
*hugs*
XXX
Author's Response: OO that is long! love it ,) The lyrics are from a song called 'standing' by vnv nations and the story is dedicated to el_garden because that's her favorite song ,p but yeah, those lyrics really are great and so...deep! lol, happy the story made you think things through ,p that's always fun to hear. I agree with you, how horrible it must be not to own your own life, but rather some other dude paying for you and then being able to sell you whenever they feel like it oO crazy! and yeah, I imagine Bill being rather the observer, always paying attention to his suroundings and stuff, just so that he won't screw up. God, it was so wierd writing Tom as a virgin oO especially with Bill being the experienced one! but yeah, he is really sweet about the whole slave thing, I wanted to make it seem like he didn't really know how to treat a slave and therefore treats Bill as if he was a 'normal' human being and not only a toy and of course, Tom dosn't know that that's wrong. I'm really happy you liked the whole bittersweet thing about their relationship because it was something that I worked a lot on! hihi and you got my point on the 'want you to want me' thing, I really wanted to make Tom special from other men. Love you so much for doing this for me hun! lots of love <3 yours luce
Date: 07/29/08 11:02 pm Title: The second chapter
How very kind of you to sum up Bill's back story for me in less than two paragraphs I think! I think I got all my questions answered other than who Bill's father is, and it's a fairly irrelavent question anyway.
So Tom's rich. Nice house. Can I move in? I want a house like that.
The smut in this chapter was good, but for some reason not quite as forfulling as usual. I think it was actually b/c of the bitter sweetness behind the relationship. Bill's been basically abused his whole life and obviously desperatly wants to be free and be loved. Tom's having feelings for Bill now, and I fugure over all it will have a happy endng b/c it's you writing it but still. I can't help but think about the fact that Tom might have to get married some day, or he'll lose interest in Bill, or something like that. It was more or less sex out of lust. I'm looking forward to when it turns into love and both partners know it.
It was really cute that Tom said that he wanted Bill to want him. I loved that. I love the lymric/poems at the beginning and end of the chapters. They really pretty and basically sum up the chapter in a very beautiful and metaphorical way, getting the characters emotions just right!
Hoping for the next chapter soon (thursday at the latest, please!)
And just to let you know when I read your email I went strait to this site and went searching for your story, I literally blew right over two pages to find yours! Just to tell you how much I love your story.
Another thing. I can't for the life of me guess where you're going from here. That's why I don't have as many questions as usuall. I'm going to just have to sit here and wait for the nest chapter to see what's going to happen and it's driving me nuts!
Author's Response: just so you won't worry bout it ,) Bill's father is a noone who won't be mentioned in the story anymore ,p you can only move in if you don't mind hearing Tom and Bill go at it at night time and you wouldn't want that now would you *innocent* I actually contemplated the sex scene a lot because there was so many things I had to take in consideration. That Bill had been a sex slave for a long time, that Tom was a virgin, that they weren't allowed feelings of anything but lust, but that none of them knew that and so on, it was hard ! I'm so happy you like the lyrics from the song because those are just OO the BEST !!! naw, poor Queen have to wait for answers instead of asking questions *pets you* hope you'll like the answers you get though ,) lots of love <3 luce
Date: 07/29/08 09:47 pm Title: The second chapter
"I want you to want me! I need you to need me! I love you to love me!" *dances and sings* XDD Sorry Luce, i just had to do that..I don't know if you know that song, but i randomly started singing it when i read the line "I want you...to want me."
Fuck that was soooooo good lucy! OMG *favourites* I know I always say this, but this is the best story I have ever read. They just keep getting better and better =)
This chapter was really well written and explained, it answered all my questions that the first one caused me to ask.
*Randomness ahead* When I was reading this, the part where Simone was asking/teasing Tom about Bill, I said to myself, I love how I am not shocked, appauled and/or confused about how they talk about Tom's sex life so casually and don't make a huge deal about Tom choosing a boy instead of a girl, because if something like this happened in real life everyone would be like O: BLASPHEMY! XD (Not that i have anything against it! I am aaaallll for it! =P)
But i guess thats the awesome thing about TokioHotel Fiction, its fictional and its HOT! LOL =P Just a random thought.
The steamy scene with Bill and Tom, UGH! *melts* I could just picture so clearly what Tom's bedroom would look like with the night sky covered in golden stars, kinda reminds me of Harry Potter actually O____O, and Bill in a matching robe...sexi sexi! ;D
And i just awwwwed over Bill's "actual 'for real' feelings that hes never got before" for Tom DD:
I can't wait to see what happens, I'm sure something like Tom and Bill will get yelled at for having actual feelings and Bill will be taken away or something D: *tears*
Anyway! Can't wait for the next chapter!!!!
Update soon, bitte! =)
Yours truly,
Andi
Author's Response: "I'm beggin you to beg me" *sings along* I LOVE that song !!! that was actually where I got the line from ,) *blushes...badly* wehihi I'm so happy right now xD God, Andi, you're spoiling me and me likes it ! lol blasphemy xD in norway it wouldn't be like that, but yeah, I get your point ,) but I have to admit, I don't think a lot of teenagers feel comfortable discussing their sex life over breakfast ,p hihi happy you liked the sex scene, and I want a roof lke that !!! hope you'll like the next chap love, hugs n kisses, yours luce <3
Date: 07/29/08 04:51 pm Title: The second chapter
i definitely enjoyed that it was amazing and sweet and sexy all at the same time. everything i could have ever asked for. lol it was really good and i cant wait to see how this progresses!
Author's Response: thank you so much! it means a lot to me that you take your time to review this and I'm extreemly happy you liked it <3
Date: 07/29/08 11:51 am Title: The second chapter
so cute! I love it:D particularly the last part: "Unknowingly, the two boys were thinking the same thing. They both wanted the world to just stay like this, to just leave them be. Just for a while."
ah..love
Author's Response: wehi ,) you got a favorite line, love it when readers get that ! so happy you reviewed, lots of love <3 luce
Date: 07/29/08 11:26 am Title: The second chapter
This story is soo amazing.
I can't wait for more. :]
Author's Response: Thank you, that really means the world to me ,)
Date: 07/29/08 11:18 am Title: The second chapter
I am sooo happy that this was updated so fast! This chapter was...ridiculously hot *-* Honestly, I didn't think we'd be lucky enough to get smut so fast XD But I'm super glad we did! I'm adding this story to my favorites because it is wonderfully written, fast-paced, and sexy! :D Can't wait for an update (on this and on The Kaulitz Residence, hehe). ^^
Author's Response: shit oO I forgot about that story again, sorry! anyways *HAPPY FACE* God, it means so much to me that you like this one, it's so much fun to write! and hey, what's a sex slave if you can't have smut right away huh? ,) that's me and my naughty mind anyway ,p *hugs*
Date: 07/29/08 09:10 am Title: The second chapter
Great job, Lucy! No, really, I enjoyed it fully! :* Update soon, please.
Author's Response: aw ,) thank you so much Bojana, that really does mean a lot to me !
Date: 07/29/08 08:35 am Title: The second chapter
Uggvgghhh Lucy, this is soooo amaazzzzing.
Sorry for the incoherent review, but im now late for work thanks to this! ^^
Oh well, it was a good reason. XD. ^^
Author's Response: hihi sorry for making you late for work, but I have to say I'm extreemly grateful you took your time to review this (duh, like you didn't know that already) so thanks ,)
Date: 07/29/08 08:05 am Title: The second chapter
Simone made me smile! ^^
The way Tom behaved when they arrived to the house was just too sweet! *melts*
And awwwwww~ their first time was just too cute! I loved their uncertainties.
I particularly loved that :
"Somehow, it felt as if they had broken some unspoken rule. Bill didn’t know what it was, but as he played with a blonde lock, twirling it between his fingers and listening to Tom’s heart beat under his cheek, he wondered briefly if it really mattered.
He found that, no, to him it didn’t matter at all. Tom’s hand made soothing circles at the small of his back and Bill kissed his chest softly in return, feeling content and safe in Tom’s arms."
*-* So adorable!
I like these Bill and Tom so much! And I can't wait for more! *-*
*hugs*
Thank you for writing such a beautiful and interesting story!
Author's Response: ooooooooooooh *blushes really badly* my God, thank you so much! naw ,) I'm so happy you liked my Simone, she's always a nic character o write. And yeah, tried to make their first time special, wierd writing Tom as a virgin though oO but fun none the less! *hugs* lots of love, luce <3
Date: 07/29/08 07:44 am Title: The second chapter
It's just so nice, oh god, really nice.
So many great sides in this one story, I really need more of it.
Oh god..
Author's Response: hihi, seems like I made you a little flustered love ,) thanks annie
Date: 07/29/08 07:12 am Title: The second chapter
Great idea and very well written *_*!
Author's Response: thank you so much !
Date: 07/29/08 07:02 am Title: The second chapter
Well, did I enjoy it? Of course I did! I absolutely loved it! And yes, the fast update did make me very happy! ^_^
You know, with every single story you write you seem to get better and better, and I really think that this has the potential to become one of my absolute favourites on the site.
It was so hott, and really detailed. I loved how gentle Tom was being with Bill, and Bill's worries and insecurities. I just love your characterisations in this in general actually. The two of them are very cute together and I can't wait to read about how their relationship progresses and how the fact that Bill is a sex slave will affect them. I'm excited for the next chapter already.
In fact, I just love it, period. :)
Author's Response: hihi the lady of the hour and the one person I was really trying to please ,) so happy I managed! I am beggining to think that it is physically imposible for you not to make me blush, at least it seems that way! because yes, I am blushing...AGAIN! You do right to wonder about Bill's status, because it will have an impact on things. I really hope you will like the next one as well! much love and loads of thanks, luce <3
Date: 07/29/08 06:49 am Title: The first chapter
AAAAAAAAAAAAH XD I found your new story finally :-p I'm so happy at to moment just staring at the screen in disbelieve, that's how excited I am!
I so love you for writing this =D I was feeling a bit down and you managed to cheer me up =D
This story really is brilliant and I'm looking forward to reading more of this. You only seems to get better and better ;-)
"For some time, Tom continued to wander from tent to tent, looking at the beautiful women and men that were on display for the customers. He found some that he thought might like, but there was always something wrong with them. Too old or too young, too thin or too big. "
It's weird to her someone taking about humans like thing they can buy. Imagine that. That just seems awful if your the slave well I can't imagine always have to listen to someone because he owns you and you are not your own person.
"It was foul, yes. Tom sometimes did feel a little disgusted that his family were of those who bought these ‘sex slaves’. But it was something he had grown accustomed too, and now it was his turn."
Well jeah if everybody has that you can't find it anything else than normal I guess (makes me think of a book I ones read about slavery :-p)
"Those blue eyes seemed almost pleading, begging him to pick her. Tom had found a fault in her, too. She was too weak."
Taking about picky :-p
"A beautiful, alabaster boy pulled at the hold of an older gentleman, a fierce look on his pale face. Tom was mesmerized"
Well he certainly is not weak :-p I bet he does got some spirit in him. Not such a good quality for a slave if you asked me. I think that going to cause some trouble, I think. ^^
"Jorg watched with interest the way the slave seemed to lean into his son as well, actually accepting the gesture of possessiveness."
Wonder if he keeps doing that or...
"Those who said happiness couldn’t be bought really didn’t know where to go shopping. "
Tsss, this line just. Don't know why I thought it was so funny ;-)
Oooh damn I have to go :( working you know but I'll review the second chapter when I get back okey.
Damn I really wanted to read it and know what happens next.
Anyway you keep writing. This is going to become definitely one of my favorite stories ;-)
*Hugs*
Author's Response: hihi hey kris ,) happy you found your way here ! I couldn't agree more with you, it really is wierd thinking about how slaves were actually looked upon as things, property and not humans. It was hard writing it as well, without making Tom seem like a real bastard ,p but yeah, if every one is okay with it then it seems like the people who aren't are the unnormal ones! it's terrible! well, you know Bill ,) always a fighter, but think about all the lovileiness that would occur if Tom were to put that spirit in use lets say in...bed *innocent* (okay who am I kiddin, I could never pull off innocent) aw poor you working all the time, me iz happy cuz me haz vacation ,p looking forward to your oppinion on the second chap, much love, luce <3
Date: 07/29/08 06:26 am Title: The second chapter
my babe!!
i almost lost my breath.
what can i say?
You always travel me with the plot of your stories.
i just lived in them
the sex scene was just a miracle.
i felt the passion, the growing love between the boys.
luce, please keep going make these.
you make me very proud!
i am an official fan of you!!
love ya hun:)
Author's Response: weeeeeee *blushes* oh chris *heart eyes* thank you so much for this. Have I told you how much you mean to me ? because it's a lot !!! I am so extreemly happy you like this one because this story means a lot to me! and I promise to keep going, because I have an official fan ,p hurray ,) love ya too girl <3
Date: 07/28/08 09:16 pm Title: The first chapter
Thanks for the medal love *puts it on and shows it off proudly*
Your responce to my reviews made me laugh so much, I had to make something up when my mom asked me what was so funny.
Ok, so I'm assuming you'll see this faster than an email, just to let you know i'm going away on friday which means that the last time I'll have internet access will be Thursday night. You said you had the nest two chapters done. Any chance I could get you to post the? Sort of as a going ways present?
I'm leaving for two weeks to go somewhere w/o any internet access at all which is amazing in this day and age but what can I say. It's a new phenomanon that we have electricity (where I'm going I mean).
If you're against that or haven't had them betaed yet could you email them to me anyway? I'm desperate to read more. I've been trying to figure out where you're going to go w/ this story (I have a habit of either figuring out where authors are going or telling them where I want them to go - they usually ignore me but every now and again one listens). The point is, despite the fact that you believe me to be psychic I am not. Particularly when it comes to your stories, inquisitive and smart (yes I like to fluff my ego every now and again) maybe, but not psychic. So.... Please?
*big puppy dog eyes*
Author's Response: hey sweety ,) actually I saw your e-mail first and I'll reply to that one today (together with the other one which slow old me havn't had the time to reply to yet) so yea, any answers will come in the email ,) hugs <3
Date: 07/28/08 07:41 pm Title: The first chapter
*SQUEEE!* i love your writing, you know that? this seems amazingly interesting. sorry i couldnt review right away, i was at a friend's house :(
ANYWAY, i really want to see where you take this. its an a-freakin'-mazing start and i REALLY cant wait for more. update soon!
Author's Response: oh my god ,D that is so sweet of you !!! I'll update really soon, I can promise you that much! hope you'll like where I'm going with this, much love <3
Date: 07/28/08 04:42 pm Title: The first chapter
Where did this come from???
It is not your usual type of story...
Welcome back by the way :D
Happy 'bout that... :) Really am...
I... Don't know what to say really...
Nicely written, seems to be a well conceived plot... You are definitely getting better at it... Smiles... :)
I'm probably over analysing and thinking to much at the moment...
I usually like slave/Master fic's...
Read the other reviews and it is nice to know that Jorg isn't a bastard this time ;)
I have really loved EVERY other story you've written before, so I will give it a go...
I'm going to need a few more chapters to be able to give you a review though...
You have managed to set my blood on fire...
Author's Response: hihi where this comes from ??? well you'll have to ask my brain which is not to be adviced because it would probably have this really long complicated answer which I have no way of understanding oO it does that from time to time! and as you seem to be (well I know that you are) happy about longer fics, this is gonna have a couple of chapters to it ,) I really hope you will love this one as much as the others because I really think it will turn out okay ! next chapter will be out soon and let's see if I can't get that fire to spread other places with it shall we ,p hugs <3
Date: 07/28/08 01:36 pm Title: The first chapter
as usual, i'm hooked from the very first chapter. :)
Author's Response: weeeeee, that makes me so happy ,)
Date: 07/28/08 05:44 am Title: The first chapter
hm. original) please update soon)
Author's Response: thanks, will do !