Date: 07/26/08 08:48 pm Title: The Lawn Gnomes
Nuu, Bill! Don't fall for his ruse! Nuuuu!
OH MY GOD. XD
I TOTALLY just remembered something. In sixth grade I wrote a short story about lawn gnomes coming to life and attacking people.
I've honestly never trusted the stupid things, myself. XDDDD
I can't believe I only just remembered that, though!!
Date: 07/26/08 08:26 pm Title: The Lawn Gnomes
Great story, how did you come up with all those names for all those creatures?
Author's Response: Muffin comes up with most of them. We both watch a lot of Doctor Who and some of the inspiration comes from there.
Date: 07/26/08 07:48 pm Title: The Lawn Gnomes
:]
eek.
this is so good.
Date: 07/26/08 07:42 pm Title: The Lawn Gnomes
I think that Tom's human, but I have a feeling his father's an axe-murderer or something.
I love seeing that their feelings are budding! It's not rushed, and the timing of it is just perfect. Love ittt.
Date: 07/26/08 07:36 pm Title: The Lawn Gnomes
So first, this one was short. And that made me sad. But I suppose what happened in it makes up for that. ;3
Okay, so I really liked the feel of this chapter, because it was significantly different than the other ones. It was homey, you know? And I know you introduced Bill's family life before, but that was Bill's POV and therefore a bit... skewed. Seeing everything from Tom and how he's fit into their lives so normally (or as normally as one can with Bill involved) was really just... sweet. One line really stood out to me, the mention of him having "usuals" and "regulars". I thought that pretty much summed up the entire chapter.
I loved to see Tom's shy side in this because for as much as he didn't care about being noticed or appreciated before, he really did want to make a good impression on Simone. (Though I think just being real was good enough for her, honestly.) I think he has a really big sensitive, insecure side, and I think it comes from what happened to him in the past, because I could tell that he's constantly wondering what she might be thinking of him. And as for Simone she was as exasperated with Bill here as she was in the last, which was awesome because I love to see their interaction as mother and son. It's so normal, something I could see at my own dinner table, if you would disregard the subject matter, that is. :P
I also liked how you showed how attuned Bill could be to people's feelings. The part where Tom reflected on the fact that Bill was the only one that didn't care, and the only one that hadn't thought to asked any questions, was important because it wasn't so much that Bill hadn't considered asking, (because from the warehouse scene I *know* he had) but that he'd displayed a startlingly sensitive side to Tom's situation and thought better of it.
And that was a good portrayal of Bill's character too; it showed that while he doesn't know the meaning of personal space or "privacy", he's not stupid. He does what he wants to and how he wants to but it was important for us, and Tom, to realize that he's not demented like Tom previously thought. In fact one could say he's more sensitive to people's emotions than the next person, considering it stood out in Tom's mind that he didn't ask. Does that make sense? It made him unique in Tom's eyes, so I figure Tom hasn't had that experience with very many people.
One thing I thought you incorporated into Tom very well though was that he doesn't know everything about Bill yet. It's important to show that as much as we are in Tom's head, we *do* know more than him, because we've seen the world through Bill's eyes too. So, yes, they've become friends, and yes, Tom's gotten used to Bill's weirdness (somewhat, anyway) but he still thinks that Bill is weak, and that to me is completely off. I think Bill might be the strongest person in the story so far, just because he refuses to back down and stands up for what he believes in, even though that means being ridiculed.
And as for their relationship, I love the progression. I know it's not actually a huge thing for him to admit that Tom might be human, but... well, for this Bill, that's practically a confession of love. I adore how you wrote that out and how Tom understood that it was a big thing. And for Tom, this line said it all. It made the chapter for me: "He wanted to ask what it was, but he couldn't bring himself to be quite that concerned about Bill's thought process. Aloud, at least." Do I really need to explain that one? Phrased perfectly, and that one line wraps up all the little hints you guys left throughout the chapter.
Not only that, but the fact that Tom said that he no longer cared who saw him with Bill was a *big* thing, especially considering how intent he'd been on camouflaging in the beginning. Really, I just loved all of Tom's thoughts in this chapter. You didn't say anything straight up, and it wasn't condensed into one paragraph - it read like how thoughts come to mind and that's one of the things that I really find unique about this fic. Nearly every story has the thought processes of the characters, but very, very few manage to do it so effortlessly. So, kudos. You guys rock hard. D:
So you know what this means, right? Chapters eight and nine, bby. Gimme gimme.
-Ella
Oh, P to the S! ...gnomes. Just, gnomes. Nothing to elaborate on, just that one word: gnomes. :DD
Date: 07/26/08 07:27 pm Title: The Lawn Gnomes
Knowing you two, I'd say Tom is far from what you want us to think he is.
Until the realization of Bill, that it. -.-'
I'm horribly scared this fic is gonna turn into (or prolly already is) some giant human-eating alien body snatchers thing. And then Bill would've been right all along.
Date: 07/26/08 06:41 pm Title: The Dusty Guitar
Poor Simone...I kinda feel sympathy for her to, what with a hyper-active and paranoid Bill running around. ;)
Seriously awesome story guys!
Date: 07/26/08 06:03 pm Title: The Dusty Guitar
LOL. i loved Simone's reaction! :) and Tomi seems to be slowly getting attatched. great work. update soon? pretty please?
^_^[Sagey]
Date: 07/26/08 04:29 pm Title: The Dusty Guitar
I really enjoy reading this story. It's fascinating and different from all the other fics I have read so far. And very well-written too. Bill is a loon, but he is adorable and Tom is really mysterious...I cant wait for the next installment of this!:)
Date: 07/26/08 11:44 am Title: The Dusty Guitar
Aw, Bill's so cute! I just wanna pinch his cheeks lol
Date: 07/26/08 07:31 am Title: The Dusty Guitar
Bill so made me think of Luna in Harry Potter =D
Great story =D
I wonder why Tom is living there, mhhh jeah I want to know what happens next so I hope you update soon ;-)
Date: 07/26/08 01:55 am Title: The Dusty Guitar
i love this story! it makes me laugh all the time. especially this chapter.
Date: 07/26/08 01:21 am Title: The Dusty Guitar
OMFG, Simone :( Why don't you have faith in your own son? Tomi. Just be friends with him. Why are you being so pigheaded. AND YAYS! Monster Hunters.
Date: 07/26/08 01:09 am Title: The Dusty Guitar
haha this is good!! ^_^ update soon!!
*dances like bill*
Date: 07/26/08 12:59 am Title: The Dusty Guitar
Aww, he's adorable. X3
I'm guessing you made up the dvd titles? If you didn't, I'm going to buy them. XDDD
Date: 07/26/08 12:44 am Title: The Dusty Guitar
Great episode! I wonder what Tom's hiding... =)
Date: 07/26/08 12:24 am Title: The Dusty Guitar
Aw lmao Bill is so cute!
Date: 07/26/08 12:06 am Title: The Dusty Guitar
This is ADORABLE!!!! THE CUTEST BILL EVEEEEERRRR!!!! OMG!
Date: 07/25/08 11:55 pm Title: The Dusty Guitar
I loved it! I like the story more and more with each chapter, and this one was cute. My fave parts include the whole gnome thing (omg Bill freaking out was TOO cute) and Simone thinking that Tom is imaginary. PRICELESS.
Keep it up :)
Date: 07/25/08 11:38 pm Title: The Dusty Guitar
aww! lol
Yes, Simone; Tom is real.