Date: 10/29/07 06:03 pm Title: Chapter 1
seriously, UPDATE!!! pweez! =] x
Date: 10/28/07 06:28 am Title: Chapter 1
i'll cry if you don't update like now! pweez! =] x
Date: 10/26/07 11:15 pm Title: Chapter 1
good so far!! u can take this story any way you want...so many ideas i cant wait to see what you do with it ^_^...hope to see an update sooooonnnnn!!!!! lol great job !! XD
Date: 10/25/07 06:16 pm Title: Chapter 1
pleeeeeeeeease write more now! =] x
Date: 10/24/07 07:12 am Title: Chapter 1
love it =)can't wait for the rest!
u said u wanted constuctive criticism so, just one thing that anoyed me: some of the lines that were straight after each other... kind of anoying, sorry =S
try to just write a reaction to the first line before u reach the reply =)
Date: 10/23/07 10:06 pm Title: Chapter 1
Yee! Love it.
MORE, PLEASE.
Date: 10/23/07 04:18 am Title: Chapter 1
OoOoOo i wuv it! pweez pweez write some more now! =] xx
Date: 10/22/07 02:53 am Title: Chapter 1
thanks everyone!
keep rating and reviewing me generously!
(:
i'll try to apply your notes to my next chapter!
Date: 10/20/07 05:04 pm Title: Chapter 1
yea shes rely gud aye? go Klee... lol
Date: 10/20/07 12:33 pm Title: Chapter 1
This is a very nice beginning. I do think, however, that you should use paragraphs breaks after dialogue, so that it is easier to read. At some points it's difficult to tell who is saying what, and while the reader can go back and figure it out, it does take the reader out of the story for a moment, which is what we as writers strive never to do.
Besides that, like I said, a very nice start I am looking forward to seeing where this goes. :)
Date: 10/20/07 05:38 am Title: Chapter 1
i really like it!!
can't wait to read more!!!
Date: 10/20/07 05:00 am Title: Chapter 1
Well done on your first fanfic, i really liked it! I like how Bill always trusts Tom for his protection and i would like to read more about how the boys and Andreas get along and how the school accepts them. Thanks for the post!! (:
Date: 10/20/07 02:04 am Title: Chapter 1
this is realy gud
Date: 10/20/07 01:45 am Title: Chapter 1
someone review me.
:]