Date: 06/17/11 07:39 pm Title: Chapter 5: Reuniting
P.S You've got to update ASAP!
Date: 06/17/11 07:37 pm Title: Chapter 5: Reuniting
OMG This took an unexpected turn. I hope georg and gustav save Bill and Tom!
Date: 06/17/11 07:13 pm Title: Chapter 4 Fier: The Search Continues
I think Bushido has something to do with Bill's disappearance. Hrmmm I guess i'm going to have to read on to find out. lol
Date: 06/17/11 07:04 pm Title: Kapitel Drei- 'I want to help'
I'm glad Bushido is going to help! Bill needs to be found for my sanity!! lmao.
Date: 06/17/11 06:48 pm Title: Kapitel Zwei- 'He's WHAT?!'
Wow, that's so depressing. I don't know what I do if one of my sisters were kidnapped. I hope I never find out. Great chapter btw.
Date: 06/17/11 06:38 pm Title: Kapitel Eins- The discovery
Wow, that's horrible! But a smart move on Bill's part.
Date: 05/14/10 08:08 pm Title: Kapitel Eins- The discovery
No Tom.
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
Date: 04/21/10 12:27 am Title: Chapter 4 Fier: The Search Continues
Good story with lots of promise, but one mis-step.
NO cops are going to ask you to do anything to help them other than give them info. NO cops would have sent the guys out on a mission to ask around. They always tell you to stay out of their way and let them do the work. That's when families say "screw you" to the police and do the detective work despite the police telling them to leave it alone and wait til they find out something. That's where you get the drama from the family showing their frustration with the police and their own determination to find their kidnapped family member.
Also...your chapters are way too short. Just as you get into the story, it's over. If you have to wait a little longer to have time to write more, then take it. Short chapters are frustrating.
But I like the story and can't wait to read what happens next,
Author's Response: haha... okay. That was an awesome review! My next chapter is MUCH longer. So... I hope you enjoy it. : ) rnrnNow I have some things to think about and change for that one too. : ) Thank you!
Date: 04/19/10 05:01 pm Title: Kapitel Drei- 'I want to help'
The story had a great start and has lots of potential. Keep going but this will need regular updates cause stories like this are usually tense rides and people want to know what's going tyo happen next...quickly.
Author's Response: : ) Thank you so much for the advice! I appreciate the time you put into it, and it helps me a lot! Thanks again!!! You're awesome!rn
Date: 04/19/10 02:20 pm Title: Kapitel Drei- 'I want to help'
Hm. Not sure how to think about this. Nice idea but give yourself the time to write the story more detailed. I think there is a lack of emotions, of action.
Everyone should feel more shocked, helpless, there should be more exciting scenes - these are the things a FF like this needs.
I know wirting an FF is very difficult but like I said - give yourself more time and have more confidence.;)
Date: 06/24/08 12:22 pm Title: Kapitel Zwei- 'He's WHAT?!'
write more
Date: 06/12/08 11:01 am Title: Kapitel Zwei- 'He's WHAT?!'
Aww, poor Tom! I can't wait till there's more! Very good! Please keep it up!
Date: 06/11/08 02:08 pm Title: Kapitel Eins- The discovery
This is really good! I can't wait to read more.
Date: 06/11/08 09:15 am Title: Kapitel Eins- The discovery
Oh god! go on!
Date: 06/11/08 05:35 am Title: Kapitel Eins- The discovery
O_O MOR MORE MORE