Date: 06/15/08 08:46 pm Title: V
but something was eating at his insides and it was fucking driving him mad.
That would be guilt Billy. Such a foreign emotion to him. LOL
This is a refreshing change from the Bill characters we get in a lot of other fics. I know people tend to like Bill being the softer twin and more submissive...but I'm liking this change in this story. He's hard to like because he's such an ass--but I know he also has issues, so that makes you feel a bit of sympathy towards the character.
A tiny, smidge of sympathy, but it's there nonetheless. :D I can't wait for you to delve into why Bill is the way he is--something to do with his dad dying I think? I hope you don't go the route of: Bill's an ass, we find out why, and then all of sudden Bill is just the sweetest thing ever. I think that's unrealistic. I think it would be more interesting if you went the route of: Bill's an ass, we find out why, and then you keep the way he is, but in a more likable way. A way we can actually embrace and learn to love. There are lots of fiesty, aggressive characters that are loveable.
I am torn right now between hating Bill and loving him. He's a jerk, very conceited and seems to care about no one but himself. Tom has every right to dislike him and want nothing to do with him. Yet...
I am looking forward to them having lots more issues with each other. Butting heads so to speak. It's not only hot, but different to have them not just lust after each other right away. I like this build up. I hope you are going to put little instances between them here and there, of course, just enough to show there's an attraction building, but I am also loving the whole "we're not interested in each other" scenario too. I think you are doing an excellent job of portraying the slow build up of tension between them. This makes it when the heat between them finally does explode, it will be one to remember. I honestly think Tom would rock Bill's world--Bill just doesn't know it yet. He wouldn't want anyone after Tom.
And yet...it would be interesting if Bill continued to cheat after he and Tom do fuck like bunnies. It would be a change since usually that's Tom's role in fanfics. It would be some interesting conflict for sure.
I love your Tom as well, but there's a tiny bit of worry that he's a bit too passive here. He's fine right now, but I worry he's just going to let Bill steamroll right over him and I don't want that. For two to tango, both have to give as good as they get, so please don't let your Tom lose his spine. If he's going to be a good match for Aggressive!Bill then he's got to learn to play dirty as well.
And wow. I just wrote you a book. Awesome. Hope you don't mind.
Good luck on your exams!!! :DDD
Author's Response: Oh wow, haha, this is officially the longest review I have ever received! :D When I first saw this I was like "shit, I bet she spotted loads of mistakes or something :O" but it was a good review after all haha. I've got quite a lot planned for this fic, and I just hope I manage to make the characters come across as I am intending them to throughout the course of this fic. I hope you won't be disappointed with whatever is to come! But I'm actually trying hard not to make this like any other fic ^^ Thanks a lot for the review, and of course I don't mind you writing me a book :D
Date: 06/15/08 08:23 pm Title: V
Bill is the man. Tom is just soo naive. At least Bill is giving him some advice :P
Author's Response: Yeah, Bill#S gonna turn Tom into a REAL man mwwahaha
Date: 06/15/08 08:03 pm Title: V
i love bitchy bill!!! keep writing!!
Author's Response: Good :D
Date: 06/15/08 07:48 pm Title: V
i'm lovein' bitchy bill great chappy!! More soon??
Author's Response: I#m glad you are :D I'll update as soon as I can ^^
Date: 06/15/08 06:53 pm Title: V
Because he's falling in loooove with Tom! Okay, too soon for that, but at least he's showing signs of developing a conscious, and maybe, just maybe, that he's already starting to care for our loveable, adorable Tom. (Hell, who wouldn't?)
Loving this story, dear. I really like the dynamic between Tom and Bill, how you've managed to flip their personalities (Bill being the man-slut, and Tom being the I-want-to-care-about-the-person-I'm-with-before-I-screw-them). Anyway, this story is progressing along nicely, and I can't wait to see more!
Author's Response: Yeah, things are definitely developing ;) I'm glad you're liking it! And thanks for the review, I like reading what exactly people liked about a chapter :) I'll update as soon as I can ^^
Date: 06/15/08 06:32 pm Title: V
aww poor tom...and bill is a slut i absolutely love it!!! lol
Author's Response: haha, thank you! :D
Date: 06/15/08 04:57 pm Title: V
Gisele is a queen bitch that could fight Bill for the title, though he'd totally kick her ass. I don't mind missing hent sex as long as we get some slash in there somewhere.
Author's Response: Oh the slash will come, no worries ;)
Date: 06/15/08 04:54 pm Title: V
GISELE IS A HO.
lol I just had to say that XDD I feel bad for Tom, but Bill's right; she's totally not worth it. Tom's too good for her. I'm still waiting for the Tom/Bill lovin' to start ;)
I love this story :x Plz update soon?
Author's Response: Oh it will start don't worry ;) Glad you're liking the story, I'll update as soon as I can ^^ Exams almost over :D
Date: 06/15/08 04:51 pm Title: V
honestly, i'm pleased to see there wasn't het sex. (:
i don't dig it. haha.
this story is blowing my mind.
i love it. (:
Author's Response: Me neither ^^ Glad you like the story though :D
Date: 06/15/08 04:41 pm Title: V
Aw, better with no het! xD well, Bill maybe has a heart somewhere deep in his chest... good job! :)
Author's Response: Nah, het won't come near my fic :P Glad you liked the chapter ^^
Date: 06/15/08 04:25 pm Title: V
I LOVE Bill in this story. the way youve managed to make him so alive, it's just perfect.
You're a really good writer, and this story is really good too! =)
Author's Response: aw, thank you so much! I'm happy you're loving Bill :)
Date: 06/15/08 04:16 pm Title: V
Liking? You kidding me? I'm LOVING bitchy Bill :D XD
And oh my god, I love you for updating so fast o_O You're my hero! :D
Hmm, maybe Gisele actually have brought them closer in a way.. since now Bill is regretting and blah blah, human emotions, and stuff like that XD
Ok, I'm gonna stop analyzing now, lol. Awesome chapter! And YAY at Georg for approaching Bill! :D
Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I'm glad you do! :D Georg's not out of the picture yet by the way, he doesn't give up that easily xD
Date: 06/15/08 04:12 pm Title: I
My fics used to be just Het because I was afraid to attempt Slash. But then I got to reading more and more Slash and I just couldn't help myself. I had to write my own (Banging on the Bathroom Floor). It turned out so good I had to write more. Now I'm like obsessive w/ Slash (especially Torg).
This is one of my favorite stories to date. I get really jumpy when I see that this story has been updated. +D *hugs*
Author's Response: I actually got into the whole fan fiction stuff by readin TH het stories first, in German though. Then I attempted to write one myself and I hated it oOrnrnThen somehow I discovered slash and first I couldn't look whenever a Bill/Tom sex scene came up xD It was so weird! But I started to love it, and write one myself and I was actually satisfied with it, so I began writing and reading more and more slash and somehow het got completely lost and forgotten on the way ^^rnrnI think I'm gonna have a look at your Torg fic when I take another break from revising, first I was only into Bill/Tom, but I began reading Biorg and Torg too once in a while, and I actually like Georg/Tom more than Bill with Georg :D haha.
Date: 06/15/08 04:05 pm Title: V
het sex is is boring in the stories fuck it
Author's Response: Exactly :D
Date: 06/15/08 04:03 pm Title: V
Oooohhh dammn lucky Gisele got a lil' frisky w/ our Bill there, eh. MMMMM! *drool* lucky lucky girl. I feel bad for Tomi if he really did like that chick, but also, I know Bill didn't mean to hurt Tom. I probably would have thought Tom was kidding. Tom's just jealous of GISELE. that's it!! LOL
Well Het sex would have been nice. But I don't really read Het anymore so I dunno' how I would have taken it. Lol. I think I'm more of a Slasher girl now. *blush* WOOT! Guy on Guy!!!!
MORE PLEASE.
Author's Response: Hahaha, yeah that's probably it, Tom was jealous of Gisele! :D Personally I don't like het, I don't read it except if it's in a slash fic and I won't even attempt to write it because I know I can't xD I enjoy reading and writing slash so I'll stick with that ;)rnrnGlad you liked the chapter! I'll update as soon as I can ^^
Date: 06/15/08 03:58 pm Title: V
Oh thank god there was no descriptive Het sex...can't handle that stuff!! Good chapter, it's nice Bill seems to have a bit of a conscience! Grr Gisele, DIE!
Loved the chapter! lookin forward to more :D
Author's Response: Me neither! Can't read it can't write it, and I never will. I'm glad you liked the chapter, I'll update as soon as I can ^^
Date: 06/15/08 03:50 pm Title: V
i like i like. more please!
Author's Response: I'm glad you do, and I'll update as soon as I can ;)
Date: 06/15/08 03:47 pm Title: V
Oh my talented girl!!
So far so marvellous.
I like Bill here like hell.
I need something hot between the lovely two (bill/tom i mean).
But i trust you and i think that ll come in time and will be fantastic.
Please go on!!:)
Author's Response: Oh yeah, no worries, it'll come ;) I'm glad you're liking this so much! :D
Date: 06/15/08 03:47 pm Title: V
it's a good chap.
btw I hate Gisele (:
mwwhahaha
Author's Response: Haha, thank you ^^
Author's Response: Haha, thank you ^^
Date: 06/15/08 03:33 pm Title: V
haha lolz, then no Hetsex ;-) I don't mind, I prefer Slash xD Now I kinda do hate Gisele, Bill has a big influence on me *just like you xD*
I hope you continue soon! It was a great chapter btw :D
xx Chi
Author's Response: Nah, I can't write het sex, neither do I read it so xD I'll stick with slash :P Glad you liked the chapter! ^^