Date: 02/02/10 06:48 am Title: Most Auspicious Meetings
I love how this world seems so advanced and futuristic, yet so middle aged all at once. I really enjoy how cocky Tom can seem at times but it doesn't feel out of place at all. You both have done a very good job of developing these characters nicely. I also rather enjoy how you have included a lot of Tokio related people in the story so puzzle perfect like.
Date: 02/02/10 05:18 am Title: Prologue
I started reading this because I figured looking at more of your work while thinking about the advice you had given and seeing how you use those skills would help me out a lot. I have to say though story wise this is definitely not what I was expecting at all, and I love that. The world and rules you have created amaze me and I can't believe anyone would be that creative for a fanfiction. Just from reading the prologue I already wish this was a movie. Oh, and I love your word choice, definitely good for trying to broaden my vocabulary.
Date: 01/07/10 04:41 pm Title: Epilogue
Awww. I don't know what I think of Bushido. I mean, they were together for a couple of months? And made Bill cheat :(
i don't know what to think. these kind of story lines make me feel so grateful for my simple life.
I really enjoyed the way that I could not guess what was going to come next.
Well done. 10/10
Date: 01/01/10 01:17 am Title: Touched
Go away Bushido! I only want Bill to love Tomi.
Date: 11/05/09 04:45 pm Title: Epilogue
Bill and Tom will be ok. They will love and procreate and live happly ever after.
Andreas will carry the guilt of not sharing the message but be thankful that he didn't tell Bill. He will probably never tell Bill.
Bushido doesn't have to worry about death and he no longer hurts.
It was a very good story!
Author's Response: All of that is addressed in the sequel, if you're curious. ;)
Date: 11/05/09 04:40 pm Title: A Time To Be Born, And A Time To Die
oh my goodness. So very very sad! I think Anis death was glorious and beautiful and I'm so happy for all that he was able to do for his world, himself and Bill. I'm glad that they had each other's love for that brief time. I wish that they had more but I'm so glad that Bill and Tom worked out. As pasionate as Bill and Bushido were together, I think that Bill and Tom were a better fit and on more equal ground. But I'm sorry for our loss.
Date: 11/05/09 02:45 pm Title: Checkmate
I want it to end this way and I don't all at the same time. Bill is best with Tom. And Bushido had NO right to do what he did. How dare he send that message to Bill knowing what he know of the gods and of visions. He was so wrong, I understand but he made his bed he should lay in it!
Date: 11/05/09 12:54 pm Title: No Good Deed...
Oh my poor Bill was so sure of his vision that he not only jumped the gun he didn't think for himself. Tom wis right in that respect. The visions are a starting point not the path. What a royal mess. Everyone's embarrased and Bill is sure he's going to be thrown out. oh my!
Date: 11/04/09 06:58 pm Title: A Time To Seek, And A Time To Lose
oh my well the mess is getting all tidyed up. It looks as though I will get my wish. Bushido will/might (things change as we know) die. Bushido is doing the right thing and pushing Bill towards Tom. And Tom while he doesn't understand expicitly understands that something is going on. I hope Tom never finds out about Bill's indecression, I think it would break his heart.
Date: 11/04/09 05:55 pm Title: Check
I'm so glad that someone figured this out! So the only reason why Bill and Bushido have an attraction to one another is because Bill sees visions of Bushido. I'm glad we have a reason and I hope to all the gods above that they never get caught.
I haven't found a story beyond this one that convincingly created a new religion. Every time they talked about their gods it felt fake and contrived. This story has a valid religion that is consistent isn't "made up" just for the story to explain away their actions and reasoning. The religion you created feels solid and the characters follow their believes in that religion faithfully.
Date: 11/04/09 03:59 pm Title: Displaced
Oh my what a royal mess. Bill gets mad at Tom for not telling him the truth. When Bill is hiding his own secrets. And then Bill going to Bushido's home. OMG what a royal mess!!! I hope the talk between Bushido and Bill is productive, seriously productive!
Date: 11/04/09 03:08 pm Title: Beichte
I liked that they are finally communicating and being with one another with out interference of the outside world. And then along comes Daniel just to through them into turmoil. *pulls a face* naughty girls!
Date: 11/04/09 02:01 pm Title: Love Is...
It's still all messly like mixing paints all swirlled together until it becomes one colour. I feel like Bill has been put in an office chair and spun about until he can't tell which way is heads or tails. Like love vertigo. What a mess!
Date: 11/04/09 01:01 pm Title: Push and Pull
oh my Tom has only made things worse. He pushes Bill to do something that he does not want. He pushes Bill away. Toward another man. Can he not trust Bill. If Bill says no, even if he does not give a reason can Tom not trust that Bill must have a reason. I understand. It's so impossible to trust, to belive without reasoning but what a nightmare.
I hope Bushido can work out the vision to save them all. I almost hope he dies so Bill can be free.
Date: 11/04/09 12:13 pm Title: Bittersweet Surrender
Andreas should not have pushed you to see Anis so soon. And you are in so much trouble. I don't even know what to say. I'm just floored that you would go against your believes and Tom in such an obvious way. I'm so dissapointed and you are feeling low for a very good reason!
Date: 11/04/09 11:48 am Title: Sight Unseen
oh my what a huge mess. I'm so confliced I don't know what I want and I know that Bill doesn't either. What a mess!
Date: 11/04/09 11:04 am Title: Touched
oh Bill for all the wrong reasons! I'm so dissapointed in you!
What a mess. Tom loves you, you are married in your eyes in a vow that can never be broken. Anis loves you and you are both caught in gulit and love and responsiblity. What a mess! I have no idea how to make this better.
Date: 11/04/09 12:35 am Title: Penance
Oh my this is a very naughty very powerful chapter. The pull between love and obligation are so strong. I'm so sorry that they can't be one in the same.
The passion between Bushido and Bill is intense and powerful and ZOMG so good! I really want them to either end up together or very very far apart so that Bill and Tom can get on with their relationship.
I like Tom he's trying so hard and Bill is missleading him. I like the relationship that Bill and Tom have and if Bushido wasn't involved it would be budding slowly. But instead Bill is using Tom to help him try and focus on their relationship instead to deciding what is more important, his own happiness or his obligation. He can't decide so he's stringing along two people. I don't think that he can see that he's hurting two people by his inablity to decide between them. I wish he would, it would tiddy up all of their lives.
Date: 11/03/09 06:57 pm Title: One Foot Upon A Slippery Slope
I feel so bad for Bill he's totally conflicted as to who he wants, as if he has a choice. I doubt he does. Tom is being so nice to him and if it were just the two of them it would be the best of situaitons. But there's also Bushido who is very interested in Bill. And Bill is intersted in Bushido. I like both combontations of boys. I hope that it works out for the best!
Date: 11/03/09 04:30 pm Title: Presentation
oh my this is a pickle indeed. What will our little Bill do? what will happen. I like Tom but Bill and Bu seem so right it's wrong they aren't together!