Date: 01/02/09 09:04 pm Title: Chapter 8 - Curtain Call - part 2
okay... the beginning of this chapter was a bit confusing to me... but still great
Date: 01/02/09 06:35 pm Title: Chapter 3 - Tunnel Vision - part 1
"He knew, just knew, that Bill was running around on stage, doing what he called ‘dancing’. Tom would have called it an epileptic seizure, but to each his own."
LOL that made me laugh so hard! This is completely awesome by the way *goes off to the next chapter*
Date: 01/02/09 08:45 am Title: Chapter 1 - Guessing Game - part 1
I have a feeling this story is going to be awesome... I mean how can it not when it starts with: "There was something about the orange crayons. They were always the first to go, like the front line of soldiers in a bloody battle. They didn’t stand a chance against Bill."? That is an amazing few sentences right there and the rest of the chapter only got better
Date: 12/21/08 08:57 pm Title: Epilogue
Yeah. I just read this chapter didn't try and pick out my favorite bits. Hope you don't mind that there's not the love that I have done with the other chapters. But I want to savor this. I ended the way I hoped it would. I didn't have expectations as to how it would end I just hope it would end nicely. And it did. I'm so used to a sour note of reality. But this one had the happy note of reality. I'm glad that the laws got changed. I'm glad that the boys were part of the reason they did get changed. I enjoy that things seemed to work out for them. I glad that we got to know that it ended up ok. I was a good story. And it had several lines which I'm jealous that I can't think of on my own. *stamps foot* Maybe I'll read enough of your writing that it will rub off on me. *grins* Thank you for the ride.
Date: 12/21/08 07:49 pm Title: Chapter 18 - Disappear - part 2
And Tom and Bill Kaulitz disappeared from the stage entirely. - *grins* nice!
I just enjoyed this chapter for what it was a conclusion to your story.
Date: 12/21/08 06:05 pm Title: Chapter 17 - Disappear - part 1
It served to fuel his ego, which was already of a very healthy size and didn’t really need any more fueling, in Bill’s opinion. – Not just Bill’s opinion, I agree too!
I mean, who’s business is it if David Bowie can turn into an owl or whatever?- very funny
Bill shifted his hips, deliberately grinding down against Tom. His twin didn’t make a sound, but Bill saw his nostrils flare just slightly. It was a good sign. - *grins, shudders, and covers hand with mouth* uhhh
“Oh trust me, Tomi. You want to practice.” - *head tilt* what could Bill want to practice while straddling Tom?
This is so cleaver and funny, torturing Tom by making him practice and fucking with his brain. *grins*
Into his hand, down against him, rinse, repeat. – great line!!!
“Who said it’s over?”
Bill glanced up at Tom and grinned as Tom threw his head back again and gave a frustrated groan. - *grins and flutter claps*
It wasn’t until he heard the loud “Oh shit!” before he snapped up and looked behind him.
David hit the ground like a sack of potatoes. – Oh shit is right!!!
Date: 12/21/08 03:27 pm Title: Chapter 16 - I Think - part 2
It wasn’t bad enough that they were mutant rock stars, but now they had to be gay and, on top of that, flirting with the possibility of being incestuous twins? – LOL that kind of describes every tom/bill twincest story on this forum. *giggle*
He swallowed thickly and stepped back, feeling his back pressing against the thin plastic door behind him. Bill kept coming anyway. - *bites lip* and Bill backs Tom into a corner.
“We can keep a secret,” Bill said softly. A smile lit his lips that told Tom he was already housing lots of secrets. Maybe that was why his hair was so big... – I’m not sure what that has to do with secrets?
Their lips collided and everything went downhill from there. - *grins* lovely
Date: 12/21/08 03:06 pm Title: Chapter 15 - I think - part 1
but Bill knew that something was definitely wrong. - *grins*
Her mascara and eyeliner was streaking, and Bill almost wanted to tell her about the waterproof stuff and how it really worked. – Ha Ha Ha
“Just because you can’t get it up-” lol
“... Because I think I know. I don’t... I don’t know if I want to know, but I think I do. I think I get it, at least...” – nicely said!
Bill quickly closed the distance, pressing a small kiss to his twin’s lips in a way he never had before. - *grins*
Date: 12/21/08 12:57 pm Title: Chapter 14 - No Matter - part 2
“I agree with Bill. I think we should do it.” – O.O do what?
Bill wanted to do more for mutant acceptance and awareness – funny way to put it.
Two weeks since Tom had started to go downhill. – Hum? That’s no good. What kind of downhill are we talking about? Hum? I know that means more then what the words imply…you always do that.
he’d actually gone over to Bill and prompted his twin for that singing, that sweet serenade that Bill teased him with. He’d actually wanted it. – uh-oh?! That’s not good. Sounds like Tom is starting to come undone in front of too many people!
He could still feel Bill there, hot and heavy and so wanting. – Uh-oh Tom is getting possessive and he doesn’t even know why does he?
“Look, Tom, I don’t know why you’re freaking out-” – but we do!
Jost just thanked him it wasn’t in public this time. – ha ha ha
Date: 12/21/08 12:20 pm Title: Chapter 13 - No Matter - part 1
“Because she knows.” – dun-dun-daaaaa
I don’t... Don’t know what I’d do if I lost...you – doofy Tom! *eye roll* His mom gets the shit out of him and he’s worried about the posibily of loosing Bill. *eye roll* only Tom.
Once again just enjoying the chapter….not much to say.
Author's Response: I don't think it's a bad response at all. Having lost a sister myself I know full well that one of the bigger things to battle with in that kind of upset is the fear of losing other people that you love.
Date: 12/21/08 11:57 am Title: Chapter 12 - Disclosure - part 2
Bill wrapped his arms around his twin’s shoulders, and Tom momentarily enjoyed the warmth and feeling of protection that those bony arms offered. – I like this, it shows the connection between them in a subtle way.
Simone is all bruised and her nose is all busted? What happened that she needed surgery?
I love that you used An Deiner Seite, it’s one of my favorite songs! It was just the right amount of the song to make it work and just enough to make it sound like he was still working it out.
Date: 12/21/08 11:17 am Title: Chapter 11 - Disclosure - part 1
“Are you queer?” – repulsed by that word!
Bill let out a slow sigh, wrapping an arm around his slim waist and covering his mouth with his hand. – I hide that way too!
“But how?” – We’ll Tom sometimes the males of the species fancy other males and vice versa for the females. *whispers behind hand to you* Should we explain the sex to him now or later?
His cell phone was still ringing, dancing around in his back pocket like a frog on fire. – I like this description it’s very imaginative. I would never have thought to set a frog on fire.
“... It’s your mother. Something’s... happened.” - *gasps* no good! No good at all! More drama then? Ok dish it out!
Date: 12/21/08 10:54 am Title: Chapter 10 - What You See - Part 2
I just enjoyed this chapter for what it was worth but...Tom didn’t get to hear the rest of the thought, because he was slamming his fist into the man’s face before he even knew what he was doing. - *cringes* Oh my not good for the carrier!!!
Date: 12/21/08 04:14 am Title: Chapter 5 - Best Laid - part 1
omg im laughing so much right now XDDD hahahab omfg i LOVE this chapter :D
Date: 12/21/08 04:11 am Title: Chapter 9 - What You See - Part 1
“I... I don’t know! Just get out of there. Get back to the goddamn hotel.”
“That has got to be the dumbest thing I’ve heard you say all month.”
“And this has got to be the dumbest thing you’ve done all month!” – ok now tom’s starting to make me really really nervous.
“You know, if you’d just practice with me, - that’s the second time Practice has been used…what does Bill need to practice. I get that HE’s the one who’s been altered, I had a 50/50 chance of guessing. But what happened to Billa?
I’m reading it and still feeling like I’m out of the loop. I know what’s happening…but I don’t know what the bloody hell is going on!!!
warping their sense of perception –*sigh out the words* oh * has the ah-ha moment* got it! Oh!
*nods* ok well now that that’s all cleared up…cliff hanger??? Damn it it’s 1am I HAVE to got to bed! Argh! Fine cliff hanger!
Date: 12/21/08 03:39 am Title: Chapter 8 - Curtain Call - part 2
underground of the medical complex – I shudder to think what the hell is going to happen here!
Tom squeezed Bill’s hand even tighter, and his feet remained leaden. It was Bill who took the first steps and lead him past the man into the forbidding unknown. It was always Bill who lead them into the forbidding unknown, he realized. – hum? Interesting tidbit. I’m sure this will come into play either literally or figuratively.
Bill’s tone was adorably hopeful. Adorably? No, it wasn’t adorable. It was... regular. Just regular hopeful. – ha ha Bill’s plan worked too well!
What happened to him at that place?
“Well I am not in love with you.”
“You sure about that?” – ha ha, poor Tom!
Bill had just recently been told that he was genetically altered from every other human being on the planet, including his identical twin. – wait which one? Which twin? Was this supposed to clarify or confuse? Cause you can totally tell where I stand.
Date: 12/21/08 02:30 am Title: Chapter 7 - Curtain Call - part 1
I was so confused when this chapter started. Then I realised that Bill disappeared like really disappeared. Way to confuse the fuck out of me!
Now I’m just worried about Bill and Tom and what this means…what it means to be a “freak” in this world.
He wished he paid more attention to the laws, the Government, the news. He knew the world was changing outside of their band, he could see it, feel it, just on the perimeter of his existence. – what laws? What regulations?
“What kind of appointment?”… “What do you mean, ‘taken care of it’?” – What has Jost done? Is it good or bad?
Date: 12/21/08 12:02 am Title: Chapter 6 - Best Laid - part 2
Took me a bit but I realized you went back fill in the scenes that Bill had tried getting to Tom with Tom’s POV. Nice! I love love love the flip side. Miss Muffin you ROCK!
Each time Bill said his name it made him shudder, his mind drawing up the sounds he’d ‘heard’ from Bill’s mind, the way his twin moaned his name. Low and deep and gasping. Tom forced himself to suck in another breath. He was even having a hard time with the basics of breathing. - *squeaks and giggles*
I fucking hate you.- I guess Tom doesn’t know that he sometimes projects? *sigh* poor Bill he always pushes and that’s just too much for poor Tom right now. He pushed him just too far.
*sing-songie voice* LOVe-IT!!!
Date: 12/20/08 11:40 pm Title: Chapter 5 - Best Laid - part 1
Today seemed to be a day to think about it. Think about Tom. His twin who, as far as Bill could tell, had a secret from him. It still stung, but the wound was old and the pain had dulled over time. – this is a really good line!
It wasn’t that Bill was a late bloomer. He’d thought about sex when they were younger, too. – I ignored that line up until now. Just let it go until now…nice!
That was what made his plan so hard. – plan? Plan? I’m excited!
He thought about sex. – vanilla sex? *shakes head* no good you need to think about something dirty really, really dirty and elicit!
The more he thinks about sex the better it gets. Watching Tom trying to no react and Bill trying to think dirtier and dirtier is spectacular.
And then FINALLY a reaction from TOM…Oh his guitar…he he the sex scene Bill’s dirty dirty mind!!!
*grins, giggles, and claps* this story is so much fun *squeeks*
Date: 12/20/08 06:25 pm Title: Chapter 4 - Tunnel Vision - part 2
“Because the way you get sometimes, Tomi...” His voice was quiet at first. Tom didn’t respond. Bill had to break out the big guns.
“It’s like you’re in love with me or something.” - *jaw drops* what? *looks left then right* really? We’re going there?
Tom laughed, short and clipped, the kind that Bill imagined people would give just before going mental and shooting their office up with an AK-47. – nice! *nods head* nice!
Bill turned in the mirror again, trying to find out what it was Tom had been staring at at the show. He couldn’t figure it out. He didn’t look any different, it wasn’t like he’d cut his hair or changed anything. He didn’t have any sudden moles or zits, and everything was perfect and in place. He squinted at himself, before shaking his head. Maybe he was looking into things too much. – Funny so that’s what bill was doing in the mirror earlier *gins* very funny.
Sadly, the puzzle piece that Bill had in mind fit in every space perfectly. He was just reluctant to put it in place. – Nice teaser.