If writing helps, keep writing. And be sure to talk to someone. The fandom needs you. Don't give up. Btw, this was pretty well done!! Good job!

Author's Response: I do what I can! I have some amazing friends both out and in this fandom, who make sure I'll stay. Thank you so much ^_^

So I finally sat down to read this. I just. I... This was very well written, it was written in a very good and realistic way because damn, it made me anxious. like. drugs make me anxious - it's why I can't watch movies where they use or anything. I have no idea why, it just does. So. I don't know. it's a good thing that it did because it means that you did a very great job describing everything. and the background story you built up, with bill being depressed, and that the bullying and being alone triggered it. it's a strong storyline.

I also love how it was the medication that started it all. that he got them to feel better and grew addicted to the feeling? like, i've seen this show about people living on the streets and they got interviewed at some points and asked how it started and one woman said that it started with medications like this, then she couldn't stop. and it's just... it's so frightening that things can go so wrong? but everyone copes differently. some people needs to numb the pain, need to chase the happiness, gets addicted to it. it's perfectly understandable and i think you portrayed it well here. that bill just wants more and more, and then he takes so much from one thing that he starts taking stronger stuff? because eventually he gets so used to it that he needs stronger and stronger stuff? i just. it makes my heart hurt for bill. and for tom. for having to be the one to deal with it, for watching him, for loving him when he is in this situation. loving someone who is in a state like this is just as devastating as anything. you have to be there and tackle their situations, their ups and downs and everything with them.

I can imagine that it for tom hurts to see bill doing the white powder, bill with needle marks. it must hurt seeing this, and knowing the reason he does it. that it is because he wants to be happy. he isn't happy without. or at least he doesn't know how to be happy without. or more like, he doesn't remember what it was like being happy without. and that shit runs deep. so yes, this story made me feel a lot. i think the whole build-up around the story was great, the background we got, the idea and the atmosphere of tom searching for bill and just. i really liked the details. it gave me a lot to think about and its not hard to see the pain of the two of them. i love the way you decided to go with it, and yeah.. idk what more to say. i got sad on tom's behalf, anxious for bill, but happy about the whole story in general and the writing style.



Author's Response: Thank you so much for your really sweet review <3 I can't believe I never got around to reply *facepalm* rnI'm glad you liked it, I wanted to write smth that you hadn't seen before, and I was so nervous when I posted it! I'm glad that I could describe smth so well it made you feel like that, that's everything! <3 rnIt's insanely frightening how quick things like this can get started. I'm always worried I'm addicted to my medication, what happens the day I'm no longer on it? Will I turn to drugs? Like, I don't like drugs at all, but it's all just thoughts running through my head yk? rnTom is a real saint in this, he really is. And tbh, it's his brother - who gives up on their family when they need them the most? Definintely not Tom! It definitely hurts Tom, I think he just wants Bill to be happy with him, but he's not, and that is a blow he can't take. But he's gotta stay strong for his brother, cause he needs him. Thank you so much for your amazing review! I'm so glad it made you think and feel all these things <3