Omg Zane needs to gtfo, Tom ftw! This was so cute, Tom is so genuine and easy and Bill seems a blind deaf mute when it comes to relationships. Get outta here, Zane, I was so happy he'd gone so soon. Lol. 

This is so, so good. I can't bother to properly react, need to read more. I'm hoping my reviews will improve once I run out of more story temptation. 

Hello!

Thank you for your long answere and thank you for not being mad at me :)
I try to answere you and hope you will understand my bad english :'D
You are right, no person is perfect. I once sad to my best friend: You will EVER at least one thing not like on a person, because you will never agree with everything.
So I understand what you mean. It's just a bit complicated to read a story with a person that you should like, because it's a 'positive' protagonist, but this character is just not really likeable. It's difficult to still like the story when an important part of it is just … urks. Thats why I hope Bill will change pretty soon. It's like the otherway around. A bad storyline with really great charakters. Or really great charakter and a good stryline, but a bad writingstyle.
But sure – I don't expect an author to change his stroy(not the posted and not the notposted parts) so every reader will like it – because never ever will everybody like every story.

Yeah, a whore is for me, someone who is not living monogamic and/or likes to get the sexual attation of more then one person. For me it's even when someone just flirts with 'everybody'.
Sure it's the question of seeing things – but thats my way to see it. I wouldn't like it if my boyfriend would always flirt with other girls, or even kiss or have sex with others.

I kind of understand Bill, he wants to gets the best but dont know who is the best. Thats one of the points, why I wrote, that he should grow up. He is like a Child in a toystore, that cant decide what toy it wants – and if it could, it would take all the toys, but mum said no ;D
What I mean is … he really is childish, he dont goes with the heart in this thing, he just wants who is better. I think he dont really loves one or both of them, he just loves the thought of being in love and more he loves the attention.
And with that, he is really egoistic, because he knows he hurts more than one Person.
He knows, he hurts Zane because he is his boyfriend.
He knows he hurts Tom, because he heard him saying, that he is in love with him.
He hurts Boo, because he cant descide, and for the same reason, he hurts Boos Girlfriend. And not once he thinks of one of these persons, but always of himself. Thats one big point what makes him so unlikeable.

And hey, if you are in a relationship, you don't have to say, you are exclusive! That should be obvious! I don't think that bill wouldn't care, if he would see Zane kissing someone else.

Thanks for the explanation and being open for critic :) As I said, I dont want to be rude, but I want to say what I like and dont like in a story. And I really was dissapointed because I liked this story, but Bill was changing that.
But as I said, I see forward and hope in a few chapters I will like that story again :)


ps.: I love your long chapters :)

Author's Response: Of course I'm not mad at you, you were giving a critique! You're reading the world I'm creating from YOUR point of view, I can't argue with that. If I don't agree, then I can try to clarify, and if you still see it different from me, well...you're YOU. See it your way, and throw your opinions my way! I have thought a great deal about what you've said about Bill and his immaturity. It might be affecting the future, because you've definitely planted a seed - but your review had me really looking at him with a larger vision (or at least trying to), and we'll see how that little pebble dropped in the pond affects everything else. One thing, though - keep in mind that Bill doesn't know Tom, like, at ALL, and that Tom may be coming off as a little bit of a creeper. So if Bill hurts Tom's feelings a bit, well... Tom's being weird! So it's not really Bill's fault. But the story is unfolding, and characters change and grow (and sometimes don't, because they're like real people, and some real people NEVER change). I hope Bill gets more interesting for you and you have more fun as we go along! Thanks again for your thoughts and views and opinions on this!

Hm ... I just wanted to say, that this story is pretty awesome and I like how cute tom is and how you write about bills job and that dialect and all. I just read all chapters today, and probably never changed so many times my opinion, how a story is, in such a short time.

I absolutly dont like how bill is acting like a child and at the same time like a whore. I love anis, i love zane, i miss anis, i miss zane, anis tells me he wants me back and even if i'm falling for zane, i'm thinking about it, i love zane and let him movin in with me, but i let kiss boo ...

This story is really nice, but these childish relationship thing is pretty annoying and ruins the story at the moment :(
I hope pretty much you will let bill become an adult and not-whore pretty soon.
And let bill give tom a chance - because this zane-anis thing is getting annoying, because both character are obviously assholes with the same -i-cant-decide-problem that bill has, and anyone but tom and andy seems to be a real adoult.

Also it was really ignorant of Bill, when Zane stood in his porch, he ignored Tom and tom dissapeard - and bill absolutly didnt care or wondered why tom was gone.
Bill is a pretty unsympathetic and self-contained, with whom i cant fell the emotions. when he is crying I just think: It's your own fault, grow up, you are not a child anymore.

:(

I liked that story really much, but i have the feeling its turning to the wrong direction :(
Please dont hate me, I dont want to be rude, you are a good author, but I'm just so disapointed at the moment :(

I'll wait for a few chapters and will take a look at the story, when it's a bit longer. I hope I will change my mind, and will like this story again :)

Author's Response: Hallo, deutsch madchen! Thank you for taking the time to write out a thoughtful critique of the story. I'm happy to see someone who is having issues with a character but is still able to enjoy the story. Bill is unsympathetic? That's GOOD! I'm not one for writing perfect, cheap, dull little romance stories that belong on the Hallmark Channel. I want troubled, realistic characters peopling my little worlds, characters who act REAL. I've never met a single person in my life who was perfect and wonderful in every single way, who never made mistakes, who wasn't confused about love, themselves, life, and everything else. I want people who are likable in SPITE of their flaws, not "likable" because they have none. Anis is confused about what he wants because he identifies as a straight man, he likes women, and wants to be a daddy to his girlfriend's child. But he also is in love with Bill, and is starting to think that maybe he wants to be with him more than he thought. Bill has tons of issues about love - he wants Mr. Perfect, Mr. Right, a fantasy man who makes him feel woozy with in-love happiness feels. But he's gay and in the deep south, which made his first choice unlikely - Anis wasn't interested, in the longest time, of being "out" or having a serious, committed relationship to a man. So Bill fell in love with him anyway. They have a history together, Bill has very strong feelings for him, and it wasn't as easy as he'd thought it would be to just be "done" with Anis. Feelings don't work that way. Now, he's with this brand new guy, Zane, who obviously has some serious issues. In less than a couple of weeks, Zane has already walked out once, and has told Bill that he doesn't want to be completely "out." He's got something to hide, and seeing that this is a very, VERY new relationship, it's making Bill nervous. rnrnSo, Bill's still in love with Anis, Anis is finally showing a desire to start a real relationship with him...sort of.... He's with a new man who he really has very high hopes for, but is already showing some unsteadiness in the relationship department. He wants Zane to be Mr. Right, and is already determined to try, even though they barely know one another. rnrnAs for calling Bill a "whore," I really think that was out of line. I'm not fond of that word, especially when there's no reason to use it. Bill's not being a whore. He's just barely started dating Zane, then Anis starts coming on strong. Bill has complicated, deep feelings for Anis, so when Anis kisses him, his first impulse is to kiss back. Does that make him a "whore?" I'd be interested to know in what way, because I just don't see it.rnrnAnd for the record, if someone sleeps around a lot, I still don't like the word "whore." Humans are sexually complicated creatures, and words like slut and whore are mainly used against women to try to control their behavior. It's a cruel thing to do. You don't like that Bill kissed Anis, so you jump to using a word that is harsh and doesn't fit the situation. He's not being a whore, he's being confused. And even if he wasn't confused, and just wanted to sleep with Anis, so what? He and Zane have not said "let's be exclusive," so no one is cheating. He's not committed to anyone yet. I don't see it as black and white - you're good if you don't kiss more than one man, you're bad if you do...that concept just doesn't work for me. A lot of people want life to be simplified, so things and people are good or bad, based on how those things and people make us feel. You didn't like that Bill kissed Anis, so therefore, it was bad, and he was being a "whore."rnrnI appreciate that you let me know how you saw the matter, and for the opportunity to see if I can clarify the situation a little bit. I hope that it helps you see Bill a little differently - he's desperate for the fantasy of The One True Love, and that desperation is not making his life easier. I agree with you that he definitely needs to grow up! But people tend to mature in different areas at different rates. Some of us are great at relationships (like, one percent of us, lol...) and can be very mature in that area, but then are financially ridiculous. Some are smart about money but don't take care of their bodies. Immaturity strikes all adults in one arena or another, and some of us NEVER mature all the way in all areas of life.rnrnBill, he's going to need a little more time when it comes to love matters. I hope you can be patient about that! And I hope you continue to let me know what you think, I really do love a good critique - it helps me try to look a little more carefully at what I'm writing, to try to think a little differently about my choices and take more care with what's going on. I don't want Bill to be annoying, he's the main character! But at the same time, he's "human," and I want him to seem real, and to have the opportunity to make mistakes and to grow from them (like kissing an exboyfriend!). rnrnHope to see another review from you in the future, thanks again!!!

I don't like Anis and I don't like Zane. I just don't trust them!

Author's Response: Are they really that bad? No one's perfect! Except maybe....Tom?

Love this chapter so much!

I liked Zane a lot in your Carmic series. But no so much here…, as I want Bill to be with Tom! :)

Anyway, I was actually happy when Zane self-removed himself. But it could not be that simple, could it be? Zane is back and Bill is blind again.

I love how Bill bumps into Tom everywhere. It's fate! Now if only Bill could see it…

I love this Tom. Yes, he is goofy, but he is a very decent person. I can already tell.

Bill's reading for Tom was interesting. Do I understand correctly that the thing Tom wants the most is Bill, that Tom is afraid of competition with Zane, but if Tom remains persistent and works for it, he will get Bill? It would be interesting to know how Tom fell for Bill so fast so hard.

Great chapter! Cannot wait for more.

P.S. Love how Tom makes very kindly fun of Bill's accent. :)

Author's Response: Hola again, ura_hd! I'm itching to get the next chapter complete, but it's going to be Wednesday or Thursday before I can commit the time, unfortunately. Vacations, house renovations, and WORK really get in the way of my writing time! Yes, Zane is not quite the same happy, simple guy he was in the Karma stories. And yes, Tom seems to crazily want Bill...but we'll have to see if something else is going on here. Sometimes secrets aren't revealed to me until I'm writing them out, which is fun and weird. I'll see you in a few days!

I was so delighted to see another chapter of this fantastic story! I absolutely love it!

I'm still not so sure about Zane. I feel like he's not being honest and he's got someone back home.

I feel absolutely awful for Tom :( How wonderful he must have felt to have been able to spend the day with Bill, and then to be invited for dinner and then have his heart crushed seeing him run into Zane's arms. Heartbreaking :( I am definitely a Tom shipper lol

Anis needs to just back off lol

I cannot wait for more of this! It's wonderful :D

Author's Response: TCG! Good to see you again! Thank you so much for letting me know you're enjoying this ride, it's taking a bit more effort than some of my other stories and I worry about writing the chapters out too fast and not proofreading enough, but time is too short :) The characters are getting more fun, and I'm excited to find out what these guys are up to, especially Tom...is he too good to be true? And Zane...is he REALLY keeping some big dark secret? Hmmm...guess we'll have to wait and see... I'll have another chapter up no later than Thursday, thanks for sticking around!

Author's Response: TCG! Good to see you again! Thank you so much for letting me know you're enjoying this ride, it's taking a bit more effort than some of my other stories and I worry about writing the chapters out too fast and not proofreading enough, but time is too short :) The characters are getting more fun, and I'm excited to find out what these guys are up to, especially Tom...is he too good to be true? And Zane...is he REALLY keeping some big dark secret? Hmmm...guess we'll have to wait and see... I'll have another chapter up no later than Thursday, thanks for sticking around!

I wasn't really thinking about Anis, maybe there's even more competition than I thought. I'm really anxious now!!

Author's Response: Me too! Sometimes these characters take the story away from me. Like on Bill's late-night walk - I swear I had no idea he was going to run into Tom until a few sentences before it happened. I thought Bill was going to think and think, and sit at the church steps for a bit, and then go home.... So what might happen with Anis is anyone's guess!

Can I just say I love this story already! Billy's got himself in a real love trapezoid doesn't he!?!
Th fact that this is based in the south is amazing because I love the south. Especially Nashville and New Orleans !
Can't wait to see what's next!

Author's Response: Hello there, I.L.W.T! Thank you so much for letting me know you're reading. I was hoping someone familiar with the south, and NOLA in particular, might catch the story and be able to send me feedback - I'm getting all my info from a vacation there last year and on-line research, so if I mess anything up, feel free to let me know! Thank you :)

I am loving this! I was wondering when Tom was going to make an appearance and you didn't have us waiting for long! I had a feeling he wasn't too far behind when Georg made his appearance lol

This made me laugh so hard: "I don’t date anyone with more hair ‘n a bear wearin’ a wig." HAHAHA so funny!

I have a feeling Zane isn't being very honest and the necklace he is buying for his "aunt"; I think it's for a wife or girlfriend. I just don't trust him. I do hope I'm wrong, though.

It's interesting that Tom and him know each other. The plot thickens hmmm

I cannot wait for more! This is great!

Author's Response: Hello again TCG! I was a bit worried about how long it would take Tom to show up, too, believe it or not! But then suddenly, there he was...and he ended up obnoxious as hell! I'm wondering how that's going to develop... The bear and the wig...I was hoping that would be entertaining. I'm trying to keep that southern talk going, without going overboard, but I think it'll probably end up being overly exaggerated at times. But it's fun that way! As for Zane, it seems that he's giving off the vibe of being not so trustworthy.... I guess we'll have to see. I hope not, too - I liked him so much in the Karmic story. This is a whole lot of fun to write, and I always appreciate hearing your thoughts!

Author's Response: Hello again TCG! I was a bit worried about how long it would take Tom to show up, too, believe it or not! But then suddenly, there he was...and he ended up obnoxious as hell! I'm wondering how that's going to develop... The bear and the wig...I was hoping that would be entertaining. I'm trying to keep that southern talk going, without going overboard, but I think it'll probably end up being overly exaggerated at times. But it's fun that way! As for Zane, it seems that he's giving off the vibe of being not so trustworthy.... I guess we'll have to see. I hope not, too - I liked him so much in the Karmic story. This is a whole lot of fun to write, and I always appreciate hearing your thoughts!