Oh boy.... So first I want to congratulate you on finishing your first fic! :) Cute plot idea. However....... there's a lot to work on. I had a hard time understanding how old the twins were here, and whose closet that was. And why is Bill hopping over furniture when he can barely walk? What's the purpose of the tape recorder? Your fic is also riddled with punctuation and synonym faux pas. For example, close/clothes, threw/through, got/god. This could use a good beta and/or proofreading. I like this plot idea, and I think this is one of those stories that will get better with every edit. Like if you mentioned how and why Bill seems to love Tom even though Tom is a meany. I'm a twincest fan and even I was surprised that Tom went for the kiss; I don't think Bill's letter implied that kind of love at all.
Anyway, good first fic (I'm sure mine were way worse, lol), but keep working on it. Can't wait to read more twincest from you! :)

Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to let me know about these things! I really appreciate it! I will definitely take this in and try and improve this story! Thank you!

This is your first story? Congrats! It takes a lot of courage to post the first one. Overall, it was a great idea and a cute story.

Some constructive advice:
1.) there were some grammatical errors, such as verb tenses that you should watch out for. They weren't so awful that I couldn't read it, but it's distracting. Make sure to at least run it through the grammar checking software on your computer.

2.) perhaps you should also work on paragraph transitions. There were times that I was a little confused as to what was happening. The plot seemed to jump around a lot.just take the time to throughly flesh out the thoughts and actions of your characters.

3.) Don't be afraid to ask for a beta reader before you post. It's not a sign that you're a bad writer. It just helps screen for the small stuff that we all miss before you post.

4.) Relationship establishment or development is key. A lot of times when we write one shots, there's not time to fully let a relationship blossom, so we use an established relationship. I believe that's what you tried to do. You just want to make sure to introduce that relationship to readers and make it clear, especially when you're writing a Bill/Tom, as in some stories they're ordinary twins and in some stories their relationship is different. I was kind of left kind of blindsided when they started kissing. It kind of seemed to come put of no where.

Again, excellent job. Please don't think I'm nit picking or being too critical. I don't want to discourage you from writing, because it's a nice start. After my first THF story (my work has all been removed from the site), someone had this talk with me, and it made me a better writer. Good luck! Hope to see another story from you soon.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the feedback! This is exactly what i wanted because without the feedback I won't get any better. This is my first story but i promise i will get better! I hope that my next story pleases you and that it is better then this one :)