Date: 05/01/23 12:41 pm Title: Chapter 1
I have left a review on other stories of yours, but wanted to say that I enjoyed this one too!
Date: 09/18/18 05:09 am Title: Chapter 4
Hi there :)
i sent you email regarding translate this story :)
Just you didn't answer so i hope you don't mind :) thank you so much :)
Date: 09/18/18 05:09 am Title: Chapter 4
Hi there :)
i sent you email regarding translate this story :)
Just you didn't answer so i hope you don't mind :) thank you so much :)
Date: 04/19/17 08:50 am Title: Chapter 4
oh my god I absolutely love this. There were lines when I was just giggling like a mad woman, and others where I was like 'oh no poor bill :c', which is why I love reading so much. :)
Date: 02/19/17 08:48 am Title: Chapter 1
I also enjoyed reading the second part of this story very much. Thank you for the nice story.
Date: 01/17/16 10:54 pm Title: Chapter 4
Oh, that sly Tom!!! I've read this several times and I never noticed that he proposed in a roundabout way!
Date: 04/11/15 01:28 am Title: Chapter 4
I think this was sweet, and would love to see another sequel. =) Maybe Gordon could get his head out of his ass too.
Date: 03/15/15 08:15 am Title: Chapter 3
Oh, poor Bill! Can't his father give him a break during christmas? And oh, I knew it! I knew he was pregnant, just so funny that they first decided to screw with them and ahahah turned out to be true XD and Tom is so sweet, the sweetest ever! Bill is so lucky and whatever happens he'll be fine as long as he's got Tom!
Date: 03/15/15 08:10 am Title: Chapter 2
I would seriously go mad if my dad were like Gordon. So pushy, oh my god! And Tom is so sweet to Bill ^_^
Date: 03/15/15 08:08 am Title: Chapter 1
Wow, thank you for posting, and for finishing so fast! I loved the one shot and I loved this one as well! Love how this story started! :D
Date: 03/15/15 02:49 am Title: Chapter 4
The ending was great and I'm really looking forward to a potential sequel!!
Date: 03/15/15 02:37 am Title: Chapter 3
Awwwww Tom's a sweetheart!
Date: 03/14/15 12:40 pm Title: Chapter 4
Hello :)
(I have much to say, so sorry if my english isn't so good, it's because i'm not an english native speaker. I hope you will understand my english :))
First I want to say, that I really liked the story. The idea with the annoying, challenging dads is really nice and it's cute, that bill and tom found their love because of the prank. The mpreg idea is nice, even it's not realistic, because for a pregnancy you need the organs and these can't exists because of some drugs. Maybe you could have write, that for the pregenancy also the guys have some genetic problems so they already have some femaleorgans – or something like that. And the drug did make the oragns working.
But okay, since the male-pregnancy wasn't that much of a topic (The pregnancy and how it's working) it's okay.
But what botherd me, was, that I couldn't feel the emotions. It makes me a bit sad, because, like I said, I liked the story really much.
The reason I couldn't feel the feelings, is, because of the 'show, don't tell'. Means, you did tell, but didn't show. For example … When Bill told Tom he is pregnant. Yeah, Tom was surprised and happy – he said it, and showed it a liiiittle, but not much. There where no tears because he was happy. No sniffing, or cuddling out of nowhere, because he was so fucking exited. Bill couldn't feel toms heart pounding hard and fast for exitment against him, when tom hugged him.
Or when Bill hold is daughter and Tom said that they could marry.
Bill wasn't exited. He didn't felt his own heart pounding hard, his breath didn't cought, he didn't shaked because he was so happy, his tummy didn't felt warm because of the love and he didn't got goosebumps because couldn't be more happy.
On all scence that were full of emotions, you didn't showed them. The same in „The Joke is on us“ When Bill and Tom came together, they just where together. You didnt showed how it really came to it – it would have been so cute, if you had showed, how they told each other, that they are really in love. You just skipped that – they laied on the trampolin, and out of nowhere they say, they are in love. There were again now showed feelings and it was a bit rushed. Sure, they said (in 'thoughts') that it maybe isn't just a prank and that they really got a bit depressed, when they didn't see each other for one or two weeks, but not more. They didn't seemd surprised that the other is in love as well, and they weren't afraid the other don't feel the same way (or at least the reader don't know it, because you didn't really wrote about it) No tickling no hurting heart, no butterflies in the stomach when they saw each other again.
I really really liked the ideas and the storys itselfs, but I really hope, that you will show much more of the feelings, in your next story. It would be really fantastic because you have potential and a great fantasy.
So please please more showing of emotions and maybe writing of importend parts (like they came together, how bill came back to the others when his father said that he dont want him anymore – it would have been really interesting how they reacted, what they did, after he blacked out just a second(like Bill said) – not just in flashbackthoughts, or how tom and bill told toms mum, that she will be soon a grandmother, like felt the baby the first time in his tummy, etc.). The story with the same beginning and the same end, could've been twice so long.
Please don't be mad at me because of the critic :) I would love to read more from you – and please keep writing. Like I said, you have much potential.
Date: 03/14/15 07:25 am Title: Chapter 4
xD I'd sent the review when is read it before you'd updated it. You ended it wonderfully, no need to stretch it out! I probably wrote the review only a few hours before you updated, but I work overnight and it was slow so I was reading it and it was only at chapter 3. Awesome story, I loved it so, so much!
Date: 03/14/15 02:39 am Title: Chapter 4
DEFINITELY A SEQUEL PLEASE!!
Maybe the wedding! Tom's plans sounds great hahaha awh. that little baby girl! *-* I loved it!!! actually I love this universe so much, can't wait to read more of them n_n
Author's Response: Thank you so much for all your lovely reviews, I appreciated them :D And don't you worry, I'm already plotting possible sequels :)
Date: 03/14/15 02:17 am Title: Chapter 3
aaaw :( Hope things will get better for Bill. Still curious about their family's reaction tho :o
Date: 03/14/15 02:04 am Title: Chapter 2
Billi is pregnaaaaaant, isn't he? aaaaah *-* I love mpreg so much! ...I wonder how will be their father's reaction xD priceless! nice chapter :)
Date: 03/14/15 01:50 am Title: Chapter 1
oh this seems to be funny :D ...I like B&T relationship, they're both cute! I wonder if their plan will work out, hmm :)
Date: 03/13/15 06:29 pm Title: Chapter 4
I loved reading this :) And I really hope there will be a sequel someday :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much :) I'm so glad you liked it!