Date: 06/14/15 02:17 pm Title: Chapter 10
I had a friend with epilepsy in school, and I know how seizure looks like, so it's really hard to imagine Bill with that. But i love this story. I have some feeling that Joe, is going to help Bill with everything and maybe even Bill is going to be much better. Anyways can't wait to read more, and please try to write more.
Author's Response: I can imagine the fear of seeing a seizure. My brother has them and it scares me even now and he's been having them for as long as I can remember. I guess it's the thought that it can kill them and it's a violent way to go. Thanks so much for loving my story.
Date: 06/14/15 01:57 pm Title: Chapter 10
cute
cant wait for more
Date: 05/27/15 06:09 pm Title: Chapter 9
looking forward to more
Date: 05/26/15 07:56 pm Title: Chapter 9
My heart goes out to Bill and I feel bad for his mother because she doesn't know how to wrap her mind around her sons disease. Yet I despise her, lol. I'm excited for future chapters.
Beautiful story.
Author's Response: Thank you.rnrnMany people have felt bad for Bill because it's so obvious what he wants yet he has to deal with this instead. It's tough and I think my story is really going to show just how hard it is.
Date: 05/26/15 01:22 am Title: Chapter 8
im sorry about your brother, i hope he is okay
Date: 05/04/15 12:39 pm Title: Chapter 8
I love this story so much. It's sad, but very beautiful at the same time. I love the way Joe feels about Bill. Put some new stuff soon.
Author's Response: Thank you!!! Joe is protective but not like Tom or his mother. I love this relationship too.
Date: 04/30/15 06:12 pm Title: Chapter 8
please update soon
this is a really good fanfic
Date: 04/30/15 12:39 pm Title: Chapter 8
I feel so bad for Bill but I do understand how worried and protective Simone and Tom must feel. I do think it's lovely that he now has Joe to stand up for him, and I'm really looking forward to seeing how their relationship develops. This story is especially intense knowing that you are writing it from real life experience. I wish you and your brother all the best. Love Helen x
Author's Response: Thanks for your love ans support. I know some people can feel bad for him and it can be uncomfortable. Joe cares for Bill and he has his reasons which were clarified.
Date: 03/28/15 07:51 pm Title: Chapter 6
looking forward to more
Date: 03/21/15 10:19 pm Title: Chapter 5
looking forward to more
Date: 03/15/15 10:06 pm Title: Chapter 4
looking forward to more
Date: 03/14/15 04:28 pm Title: Chapter 4
I like it a lot! I also like the heavier angst part, since this is a rather angsty story. It deserves to be taken seriously.
I would however like to say that I believe the medical emergency number is 112 in Germany, and maybe Switzerland as well. 999 is for the U.K. Are they in a common wealth country?? ^^ Sorry, I am just trying to adjust my mental image of where they are.
I really like how capable Ronnie is because it really shows in your writing. It's easy to trust her, and know that she knows what to do even if it might be a little stressful for the reader.
I also like this new side of Joe, though it feels a little bit abrupt. I am curious as to why he lives with his gran instead of his folk, but I am sure we'll learn why soon enough.
I don't like how Tom is being so protective of Bill, but I guess I can understand why...it's really annoying for me to read though, since I hate watching people be put into boxes...it's sick.
I still love everything about Bill, every little thing
Author's Response: It is a commonwealth village area. Like people have enough money to survive and they aren't poor either. I hope you continue to read this story.
Date: 03/12/15 11:59 pm Title: Chapter 3
I like it a lot. I like How they both get their thoughts out there, and we also see that Joe has a vulnerable side too.
I like the Ronnie parts best, she has the best dialogue and thoughts, in my opinion. She is a really good older sister, at the same time as being realistic.
I like Tom too, and I see why he would be so upset. being the twin of someone with a disorder, and not having it yourself would make you feel pretty crappy, I can imagine. I really hope he learns to except that it isn't his fault at all.
I loved the chapter!
xxx
J
Author's Response: Thank you!rnrnDon't forget the future chapters, I hope you like it and continue to.
Date: 03/09/15 08:03 pm Title: Chapter 2
This was good, and I liked the pacing:) I also liked how it got some ground covered, and explained a bit more. I think it will help raise awareness for epilepsy triggers for your readers (I think I already got that down due to circumstances).
I like getting to know Ronnie and Tom and Bill together, not each one separately. It's really great. I also like how the POV switches. It isn't confusing at all, though the dialogue can get a bit messy.
I feel really bad for Bill, but at the same time I know I would be the apposite kind of parent as Simone and let him do whatever he wanted if he had the chance...I think experience is something everyone needs regardless of circumstance. There is always a way to make it more or less safe, like Ronnie did in the pool.
I hope we get to know Joe/Bill better and that it turns out alright!
xxx
J
Author's Response: I'll work on cleaning up the dialogue. Thank you so much for this review. I am working on Dork right now but I'll work on the next one in the next hour or so.
Date: 03/09/15 11:19 am Title: Chapter 0
I'm the new one on this forum, and yesterday I read this fiction, and I really like it. i want more of this soon .
Author's Response: Thank yournrnI see you have continued to review and it is really nice to know that you are still following this story.
Date: 03/09/15 01:47 am Title: Chapter 2
I really enjoyed this chapter! :)
I feel really bad for Bill but the way in which he's attracted to Joe is quite interesting. I imagine that he must feel quite suffocated by everyone else's constant worry despite their best intentions.
I'm curious as to why Joe has such a hostile attitude towards Bill, however. He's really going out of his way to be mean to Bill.
Author's Response: Joe is a douche but he cares and you've read on, so I'm sure you know.
Date: 03/08/15 06:00 pm Title: Chapter 1
I loved Bill's pov, and this was another great chapter. I really hope he is alright, because now I am scared for him...the fictional character. His mom is the kind of mom you love, and also want to stay as far away from as possible. I don't know if you know them, but their the kind that love their kids so much they won't let them do anything.
Tom is perfect. I think he would make a good jock, but I can't imagine him without long hair. Can you have long hair in sports? It seems like it might get in the way...I don't know.
Joseph...is this Jonas again? I don't know, but I feel like this role suits him much better. He is really argent in my mind, and I think most peoples, and quite good boy roles are funny to see him in.
Anyway, love it so far! I do have a favour to ask-If he dies, or something really bad happens could you trigger the chapter? I don't know why, but I have built up a phobia of that and I feel like I might get messed up if that happens.
XXXX
J
Author's Response: he doesn't die don't worry
Date: 03/08/15 05:09 pm Title: Chapter 0
Thanks for the shoutout, it was great. I can redo the poster sometime today if you need it.
Also I love this story, it's sweet and sad at the same time. I already love Bill just from this chapter, and I am looking forward to getting to know Tom better as well as their older sister. I really like the idea of an older sister (big surprise) and I hope we get to know her better as well.
I like the feel...It leaves me feeling nostalgic, and I have absolutely no idea why. It feels kind of like reading an old book like The Outsiders, but not at all like that, if that makes any sense at all.
I don't really have anything to say constructively, since it's only the first chapter, but it's looking good!
xxx
J
Author's Response: I will always give credit where credit is due. I like it so I might not need a redo.rnrnThere are two chapters out now and I hope they make due. This story will always have it's happy moments and sad moments but not overtly sad. You will get to know her a little better. I will include her in future chapters don't worry.
Date: 03/08/15 12:26 am Title: Chapter 0
This is a really interesting story-- I like the concept and I like the pairing that you've chosen, as well. It's refreshingly different :)
Poor Bill, though :(
I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
Author's Response: Just now responding to reviews, I'm a bad personrnrnThank you so much for reading and since I've seen reviews from you later on in this story, I can see you are enjoying it. rnrnThank you so much.