Date: 03/16/15 01:11 am Title: Chapter 1
Yeah, okay. I don't think people will be mad, I think they will just look forward to the next one more. It's good story, with a realistic and believable twist. Who wouldn't read more?
Looking forward to it!
Date: 03/15/15 06:01 pm Title: Chapter 22
oh my gosh, I wasn't expecting that at all. It does suit it very well though, and I think that skipping to the future was used perfectly here. I really liked it.
I am looking forward to the sequel, and I'm excited to see how they work around this. Normally I don't like the idea of marrying that young, but this suits it, and I think they really love each other.
Maybe the name could be Unmoving Love.
Author's Response: I love that title. I'm already brainstorming a story, now I've got a crappy banner I can use. It's not too bad so I've got a title to use on it. I was hoping its suit it. My main worry was that people would be angry at that moment. Like this lighthearted story went south so quickly and it scared me that it did. Like I didn't even have control over it, my hands just typed and that spewed out. I'll most likely post the new story on Monday for me and Tuesday for you.
Date: 03/15/15 05:31 pm Title: Chapter 21
Whoa, that's a lot in one chapter. It seemed a little quickly paced (but whatever), it was awesome.
I really liked how so much got out to air, and how she was talking to them. I think the mother's character needed to be developed a bit more, since she does really seem like an awful person. The crying was a bit abrupt, and I feel like she is just really fake (middle finger up so high).
I like the back story though, and it explains a lot. I would have thought she would have been more upset about Conner coming out though, now that we look at the past. I really like it though, and Tom's story is sweet.
I like that they worked it out though, and that Tom will be safe with them. I hope Bill comes back and we can see a bit more of his recovery so we know he's alright.
Thanks for the note, and thank you too! I think we even eachother out, haha.
xxx
J
Date: 03/12/15 05:44 pm Title: Chapter 20
Thats so sad :(
Date: 03/12/15 05:29 pm Title: Chapter 20
Okay, dude, loved it to bits (I say this far too often, though it remains true). I love how they woke up and the first thing he noted was the silly pet name. I have to agree though, both of those were the most ridiculous names I've ever had the misfortune of reading. I am glad they moved past those.
I also liked how you went into detail on that. I felt a lot like that whenever my mom tells me I am in a phase, or scared of men, or whatever (I mean, my best friend is a boy, how could I be scared of them?). I loved the use of demons and satin, very original. Never heard a man referenced as a succubus. Very cool name, if you ask me.
I am so glad Conner is growing up, and helping Tom and loving him, and everything. It's sweet. I wonder if his mom would really be okay with it though...she doesn't seem to be like into that sort of thing. Friendship, or her sons, I mean.
xxxx
J
Date: 03/10/15 02:42 am Title: Chapter 19
Awww poor Bill
Date: 03/10/15 12:58 am Title: Chapter 19
Okay, this was perfect-Not too slow, not to fast. It moved perfectly, and explained Bill's end of the story much better. I also liked seeing him in rehab, because that is really what he needs. He just needed some help, someone other than Conner, that is.
I knew I shouldn't have let Georg become a good guy in my mind-He's an asshole. There is nothing he can ever, ever do to make that up. All he has done is hurt Bill, over and over, and he is such a frikken ass. I hate him, still.
I liked that Bill got that off his chest, and that he's found someone who can understand him. I don't think it's a good idea to date someone when both of you have problems with substance abuse. It seems like it would make you both weaker, instead of stronger.
I also kind of find myself wanting them to get together. It's confusing.
I love it! I can't wait to see the end, honestly. I need to know how this all turns out:)
Great update!
xxx
J
Date: 03/09/15 10:24 pm Title: Chapter 18
This is great! I like seeing Bill going to rehab, he needs it, much as I hate to say it. I am beginning to really dislike their mom-I mean, Bill was being stupid and silly, but he needs her and yet she kind of just turned away and turned on Conner too. I mean, she is just behaving like a child crossed with a professional asshole.
I like hearing the back story for Bill, and it makes everything in the story fit together better, though I think that the way it is just brushed over as a little detail could be taken as offensive.
I also like that Conner stood up for himself, and I wonder what Tom did to the dude in the caf...he went back there after all. I can't believe someone would throw meat sauce on anyone! It's like, you kill an innocent animal and then waste it's suffering. It's awful!
I love how you did the song in this, though I tried singing it and it has to be changed a little to get it to fall in beat (sorry, not really a criticism so much as an observations from an obsessive singer). I love it, and I love Tom for it.
I really want to know how Georg fits into all this...His part in the story is really confusing.
All in all, I still love it to bits~
xxx
J
PS: I actually updated Grey WorldxD It's been a while, lol
Author's Response: I am going to make a chapter just for that moment in Bill's life. Don't worry. I wanted to make that moment more of something that's Bill POV. I just wanted to include it here to make it less random when it pops up. Georg is making an appearance in the next one and so is Bill.
Date: 03/06/15 07:11 pm Title: Chapter 17
I am glad to see you really and truly back:)
As for the story, it's looking good. I love how Bill and Conner are kind of switching places, and Bill is letting Conner know what's really going on. He should have done it to start with so that everything would have more time to be worked out, but I can see why he didn't want to.
I like how Conner was able to talk to him, and find out the things he needed to know. It's the second time Bill's been kicked out, right? Also, is this a new day, or is he still driving drunk? I would think someone would have noticed, haha.
I like knowing that none of the characters are perfect, but Georg still pisses me off so bad. He is such an idiot.
xxx
J
Author's Response: I should've pointed out it was a new day. Again I'm a little brain loser. I'm glad to be back too. I have so much planned for this story. Again I'm sad it's coming to an end.
Date: 03/05/15 12:30 pm Title: Chapter 16
Fuck Bill whats wrong with you
Date: 03/05/15 12:13 pm Title: Chapter 16
Fuck Bill whats wrong with you
Date: 03/05/15 02:26 am Title: Chapter 16
Jeeze, what the hell? Everyone is this is such a dough boy at one time or another, everyone except Tom. Georg, Bill, Conner, their mom, their family...I just want to hit their perfect faces!
Conner and Bill having that little talk was so sweet...it was adorable. I loved how they got everything out, but I think Bill must still be hiding something. I don't understand how he can act the way he does.
I mean, I get he has issues, but they aren't that bad! He's got some kind of mental break headed his way. Do you think someone hurt him really bad, and he doesn't want the same to happen to Conner? I am so curious. He could also just be an alcoholic...but that doesn't seem quite right.
I am proud of Conner for hitting him. He needed it. I get that their mom was mad, but telling your trashed son to take his car and drive away is just about the dumbest thing I have ever heard/read. I think she needs to talk to Bill and figure out what the hells got him so messed up-I bet it's Georg some how.
Also, Thanks for the info on the name:) Though, if they are meant to be in Germany wouldn't his name be Wilhelm? Not the greatest leader, lol.
xxxxx
J
PS: Gosh, I missed you so much I wrote a chapter long review! Sorry;;
Author's Response: *facepalm* I forgot to switch it to Wilhelm. I'm such an idiot. Ugh, my brain hurts. Thanks for the review and I'll be working on the next one tomorrow. This persistent migraine isn't gone but it's better to where it can actually read a little. Unfortunately I have so much to catch up on. My poor head. I'll be revealing some other details in the new one. I'm a tad bit sad because this story is about to meet its end. (Wahh) this is one of my most popular stories on this site so that's a bit tragic to me. rnrnAgain thanks so much for the review and we'll get some more Tom and Connor in the next one I promise. I should try and sleep now because well my head is now having a party and its really agitating me. rnrnXoxoxornKari~
Date: 02/28/15 11:20 pm Title: Chapter 15
Hi doll, I am so sorry you feel like shit. I wish I could hug you in a dark room until it got better---creepy little me.
Anyway, I adored this chapter! Conner sounds rad. As my mom would say (this is a direct quote) 'he is one rad dude'. Oh the joys of living on a beach where the lingo makes you sound like a Californian surfer.
I loved the vegan/vegetarian argument. It had me laughing all over the place. And to the other conner-All the fags I know are veggie heads, but I don't think it's a thing.
The fact that drinking beer trumped having a rapist in his house on the list of bad things is hilarious to me-What are you thinking Conner?
ANyway, I feel sorry for him as usual.
xxx
J
Date: 02/23/15 02:00 pm Title: Chapter 13
Great chapter
Date: 02/22/15 07:57 pm Title: Chapter 14
Doll, this is fab. I loved seeing Tom's pov, and it was amazing!
That was too cute, yet somehow realistic. I mean, I can see that happening in a real highschool if you add a bit more yelling a some fag insults. You did good for them:)
I loved the line 'after bill they had to be', it was perfect!
Sorry that this review is a little short, got a friend to teach, but she's later than I thought.
I love protective Tom;)
xxx
J