I'm aware that you are no longer active in this fandom but I felt so much gratitud e I had to get it out of my chest whether you ever end up reading it or not, I'm as surprised with your reply as you are with mine. Honestly I wasn't even sure if I could still make an account on this website, the design looked so archaic lol it kinda makes me wish I was here back in the heyday, TH had a mini resurgence in 2023 and that's how I found them but it's still incredibly lonely as a TWC/toll shipper. Yeah I've seen your reviews on the deleted stories, more reasons to wish I've been here earlier... There was one in particular you described as "psychadelic" that I was the most curious about I don't know if you could still remember and maybe summarize it to me lol.

What I'm looking for in a twincest fic is a story that centers the unique and unconventional bond between the twins (so no unrelated AUs for the most part) I think the taboo adds more depth to their bond because it's like they have a whole world of their own that they can't share with others (again there's ane exception to everything and I dig those stories where the Gs end up finding out... plus it's an opprotunity for conflict and for Tom to defend Bill's honor, I think you wrote this in one of your stories? I'm at a point where I read so much already it's all starting to blend in together orz) the other thing is that the chase/seduction/magnetism between the twins that leads them to a sexual relationship is the heart of the story and I want it to be reasonably prolonged I've seen that in many of your reviews you complain about lack of realism and/or that the twins jumped too quickly in bed and that's how our tastes are similar. I think the only point where our tastes diverge is your fondness for botTOM, I'm just not that entheusiastic about it but as you see it's not a dealbreaker.


What I love the most about a wrinkle in time is Tom's unhingement and the softer more desperate part of him later on, I also like that their issue isn't solved with more sex (as they often do in these porny fics). If anything I feel like the later chapters made the ending more somber... This one and many stories you wrote has that delirious feel to them.

I wouldn't say there is better because your writing hits many spots for me in terms of content and length (i find 5 to 20k words long stories to to be the best) you're one of my favorite authors along side with little muse undrockroll cynical_terror haylz Anyway, I'm really pleased with your reply, I can feel your love for this fandom even though it's been many years for you. I'm very forgetful and it's a blessing for me because I can't wait to re-read your stories for the first time again in a couple of months lol

Author's Response: Omg, you’re the sweetest reviewer ever!!! rnI’m so thankful you’re saying this stuff to me bc this is how I also felt about other authors, back in the heyday, and you named some of the exact usernames!! haha. I admired them so much! I’m glad to see good taste never dies. ;) Though I can imagine it must be hard to enter a fandom where everything you encounter is 15+ years old. Thanks to you I went scrolling through TH's instagrams today for the first time in a couple years? to find out what they’ve been up to in 2023, and I saw Tom removed his lip ring?! Crazy!! And Bill has long hair again! Woo! And it looks like they had a really big tour. I’m very glad to see they’re doing well. :) I think it shows how important it is that they’re still active as a band and passionate to keep going. They’ve been together since childhood! It never fails to amaze me.rnrnThere was fic I thought was “psychedelic”?? I have no idea. Was it about an acid trip? It must have been rare bc that doesn’t sound like my style. lol. I’m sorry!! I’m glad if my old reviews are helpful, but I also know I was wayyy more liberal with giving criticism back then, so I cringe at what I might have said in old reviews. I hope I was polite! rnrnAll the stuff you said about what you look for in a fic—you’re spot-on. It doesn’t matter what fandom I’m in, I can’t read/write AU! TH helped me grow so much. Even now when I write, though I write for other fandoms, I still write with those same tropes; First Time, Canon Compliant, complex bonds that straddle between lust and love, the taboo that comes with crossing the line, perhaps into something inappropriate, developing the conditions in which such a multifaceted deep love can exist, etc. These days I have a problem with starting but not finishing fics, try as I might. I look back at what I’ve written and still don’t feel I’ve written my magnum opus. :( Whether it’s true or not, I think other authors are better at capturing the unspoken underlying feelings between the twins, more naturally. My characters say too much. For me, it feels like I’m always striving to put into words something ephemeral I’ve never really captured. Not all of it. Maybe I got moments. I guess that’s all I can hope for. Maybe it’s an impression, one that happens as you said, that through time everything mixes together, and in my mind all those other “classic twincest” fics from my mentors mixed together and became something beautiful and grand which I can’t synthesize/distill all into one work for myself. Anyway, I’m impressed we like so many of the same themes. :)rnrnAnd yes, I think you’re talking about my “Cat's Cradle”? The one where the twins switch clothes and Tom punches Georg. Ha! I remember I loved writing that scene.rnrnI like botTOM..? Yes, but I don’t think I have a preference for which twin tops/bottoms. If I ended up writing Tom bottoming it’s because the rebel in me couldn’t help but try to break the stereotype that Bill=bottom. Gosh, that was basically the default and I never saw the reason for the big disparity. Just bc Bill wore makeup doesn’t automatically mean he bottoms. rnThe other reason might be because over time I developed a penchant for writing the things I wasn’t seeing elsewhere (the fandom was moving away from our fav styles) and therefore I needed to satisfy those rare cravings by myself. Plus, isn’t it more taboo/interesting to put the outwardly macho/masculine character (Tom, the one who if we took at face-value was sleeping indiscriminately with a gazillion groupies) in the stereotypically submissive role? To make Tom the one who does in fact feel true love after denying it in every interview? Isn’t it more tragic and selfless? I have to play with these things bc if there’s anyone who Tom can be vulnerable with, it’s Bill. :) I think the world has changed somewhat these days, but young Tom was such a walking stereotype, and early twincest had pigeonholed Bill as a bottom, that I knew there had to be more depth when looking underneath. Like you, I need the depth in their relationship. :) The other way to look at it is, if Bill’s already a bottom, isn’t it more interesting to explore Tom’s development and first time? But I like it both ways! I thought I wrote both rather equally (didn’t I?!? lol)rnrnHmm. About “A Wrinkle In Time” and Tom’s desperation… This is TMI, but I think you’re seeing some of my desperation also. I often write when I feel sad, and it comes out in my characters’ need to have their love/feelings reciprocated. That internal conflict and soft somber style is something that has cropped up in several of my fics over the years. I don’t always write happy endings. :(r32;r32;If you do end up rereading my fics, all I can say is thank you. I wish I could have done even better for you. <3 <3r32;r32;—Ema

Hi!
I just happened to think to scroll through my reviews to see if anyone ended up responding (because as mentioned most of these stories are OLD!) and saw this!
Ok so I’m not sure there is a way to literally “reply” other than just tossing up another review so here it goes:
Honestly a lot of your stuff is written pretty realistically, as in, “if it was going to ever happen, I could see THIS happening” lol.
YES I am a new fan! And by accident! LOL!
To flesh out more history that my bio does not, the last few months of 2021 and few into 2022 were a shitshow in my life. I have a demanding IT job for a billion dollar company and I was under tremendous pressure/stress. I took a staycation early into Jan ’22 to decompress, and during that staycation is when I went down the Cinema Bizarre rabbit hole that took me to Tokio Hotel as mentioned in the bio.
The twins (well, BILL), the music, and the fics had me INSTANTLY OBESSED and was a total crutch of sorts to forget how shitty my job/life was.
I have watched *hundreds* of YouTube vids - the “Tokio Hotel TV” eps on their channel, vids for TH interviews and fan vids (like this whole series called “the perverted moments of Tokio hotel”). I listened to EVERY single song they did, and I downloaded a ton of pictures of Bill as he’s incredibly pleasing to look at, LOL. I follow Bill and the TH Throwback accounts on IG, too.
To this day I cannot shake the SHOCK at how different Bill can look with some eyeshadow (or not) and a hairstyle, like it blows my mind constantly. Also some pics/vids of the mohawk/pompadour phase just take my breath away. I’ve always been into “pretty guys” and he is by far the hottest I have ever seen or had a crush on. I don’t think any human will ever top my feelings on the matter. When he joked about and then MADE a freakin’ OnlyFans I was SO tempted to sign up but then figured he isn’t going to SHOW or DO anything that the platform was made for so why bother, he’s got plenty of sexy pics for free! Also though, let’s face it, the fact he even went through making an account is actually pretty cringe lol.
I am actually not aware of a lot of the past scandals or dramas that went down TO get clarification on, but I never ended up seeking it out on purpose because of how all the boys are doing present day I was like, well whatever any of that was they’re A-OK now so how bad could it have been? Haha.
BUTTTT as a side-thought to the above - one thing I haven’t specifically googled for yet but has been driving me nuts, is where did the “Billa” and “Tomi” names come from? Because with all the vids and interviews I’ve seen not ONCE did they call each other that.
Another thing that blows my mind is HOW in the hell their YouTube channel does not have over 1 million subs. With how HUGE they seemed to be back in the day I’d have thought they’d both have residual follows even if past fans lost interest. The same thing for Bill’s IG, people were completely enthralled by him.
Regarding the fics:
When I first found the site (which btw I am prettttty sure that it was YOU who posted a link to your THF hosted story that led me to it!) I was incredibly overwhelmed and where I started was all the top lists. I went through each one entirely and tracked the ones that sounded good, then I went to each top author’s post history and added a ton from there. Then I began reading!
Now…. when I say *obsessed* and that I have read easily 600+ stories in about a year (including numerous re-reads), it’s no joke…. I read them when I have downtime at work, in the bathroom, at stoplights during my shitty commute, before I go to sleep EVERY NIGHT and when I wake up on the weekends, while on vacation, in the back of an uber…. Lol. I just can't stop!
I have read a LOT of works from the authors you mentioned and also almost all of yours (I think I haven’t read 2 of them yet?). I also read a ton of Zarlina’s stuff last year, a few weeks/months before I found out the other day that she erased EVERYTHING. I unfortunately don’t even remember what most of them were except “Wedlock”, and I almost didn’t read it because I abhor reading unfinished works. I saw on twitter she’s turning most of her stories into real books on amazon so I’m high-key hoping Wedlock is one of them and it will finally have an ending lol. But yeah, I’ve read a lot of the touted “famous OG stories” haha.
So my thing with fic is a **super personal** relationship. Although I LIKE the vast majority of stories I read from any fandom, I only ‘favorite’ (and save copies of) the ones I *LOVE* and/or feel something special about them to where if the site went down, I would be *incredibly* sad to lose that fic forever. I truly hate how THF has nothing similar to AO3’s “kudos”. I feel bad reading a story and not having it hit me in whatever way my brain needs to add it to favorites, but then have no other way except a review to show that it was appreciated.
There are MANY more I want to put reviews on, but it’s something that I need a specific mindset for along with the free time, so it’s a work in progress. I literally have a list of the remaining ‘favorited’ stories along with a list of authors that I’ve read a lot of to go through and find their other works that I didn’t add to favorites.
With wondering what an old fan/reader vs a new fan/reader thinks/likes -- honestly IMHO a good story is a good story? I don’t care if they’re related vs not related, or if it’s an AU where Bill is cupid, or as ‘real’ as possible to them being twins in their band. I can tell you that I did not end up ‘favoriting’ a lot of the OG stories, but there’s no real “blanket reasoning” as to why other than I’m *insanely picky*. As you possibly saw, I’ve only favorited 56 stories out of the 600+ that I estimate that I’ve read. I don’t think it’s really what you’re looking for but I could tell you want I generally don’t like?
I *won’t* read MOST stories that have certain tags, warnings, genres, or summaries, such as:
--major character death or suicide (I’ve began to skim to the last chapter of these to make sure the death is not Bill/Tom)
--the twins being sexual with each other or adults if they’re like 14 and under
--femmeslash (unless it’s temporary due to magic etc), and most genderswap
--Mpreg in general… I’ve made many exceptions, it just depends. I’ve never wanted kids and thing pregnancy is gross…
--angst that is excessive or goes too far: friends/family constantly making the twins miserable, one of the twins being a shithead to the other out of sport, dragging out a plot where they’re in love with each other but don’t admit it, cheating, or life-ruining drug addiction
--graphic or excessive torture, self-harm, and when BDSM or slavery or rape is mean spirited or violent between the twins
--kinks that involve blood/urine/poo or furries
--G, PG or light PG-13 fics where the boys care about each other but anything past kissing is glossed over
--any fic where Bill/Tom is not the dominant main pairing -- and I will filter out various other pairings for ‘main’ (and usually also ‘side’) with any of the boys with Bushido, David Jost, Gordon, and Jorg -- also weirdly I can accept Bill being a side-pairing with various others, but it inexplicably weirds me out to see a Tom/side pairing with MOST characters that aren’t female, or an original, or Georg/Gustav … but like Tom/Bushido, Tom/Adam Lambert, Tom/Samy Deluxe…. NO. NO!!! Haha.
--I wont read fics that are badly written, like some you can tell they had to be a very young author, or as mean as it is to say, an incompetent writer. I will totally bail out asap of these fics.
--this one pisses me off because you don’t realize it until you’re invested, but fics where it becomes apparent the author was winging it and don’t know how to wrap it up. It goes on for way too long and gets cringey, and more often than not has a rushed and unsatisfying ending. Weirdly enough, many times in the last chapters Bill or Tom will either get the snot beat out of them by bullies or get shot by some villain. UGHHHH!
--Lastly, which again you don't find out until too late, I hate fics with an unhappy ending and/or where Bill/Tom don't end up together. Thankfully I don't run into this too often.
Next up, RE my review on the other story “Wuthering Heights” -- Ahh, oops, I totally need to clarify! I did not mean it in the sense of teen sex in general, sorry! Like, I wouldn’t have read so many for a year+ if that bothered me hahah!!! No no no - I meant how this story could make a pretty cool MOVIE since the plot/idea is interesting and fairly original! However, if this did become a movie, the age difference would have to be scaled up a bit because the audience of today would be in an uproar over 15yr olds having sex with 25-ish age adults. I re-read my review and I can totally see that I didn’t explain that very well xD … and in fact in the chance others in the future go reading that review, I am going to paste a version of this comment there as well to cover my ass.
Lastly-- Yes! I did read “Things Fall Apart” on AO3 and put a kudo on it! LOL. Once again it was good and has a realistic vibe!

Author's Response: rnYes, that's true for this site: In order to reply, you just comment again.rnrn"a lot of your stuff is written pretty realistically" -- My fav genre in any fandom is always "First Time" and "Canon Compiant" so apart from small tweaks for creativity, that's basically all I write. I think of it as problem-solving, exactly as you said, "if it was going to ever happen, I could see THIS happening"-- it's my job as the author to figure out how to make the impossible, possible.rnrnBill's "mohawk/pompadour phase" was indeed his most gorgeous/glamorous so I don't blame you. :)rnrnWow, I learned something new from you!! Haha! I had no idea Bill had an OnlyFans. As I said, I've been out of the fandom for several years. And by several years, I mean basically since he went blond. Oops.rnrnBilla and Tomi.... It's very very old, since the beginning of the fandom. To my knowledge it's German diminutives they may or may not use in private. The names are a little bit sacred. I can't remember if fans really caught them saying it once, or if it appeared in some album thank-you notes, or maybe if the fans invented it, but no matter the source, it's canon. Back in the day when Bill and Tom didn't speak English and fandom knowledge wasn't so easy to circulate among multilingual fans, long before Twitter/Instagram/translation/all the rest, I honestly don't know how we knew the things we knew, like about their family and manager and security staff, etc, but Billa and Tomi... that's just canon and I don't know why.rnrnAbout the number of followers... as far as I know, their Youtube got a re-do sometime around the time the twins moved to America. They used to have very popular TokioHotelTV episodes, one of the first celebs to use Youtube that way, but I *think* the old eps were either reuploaded and/or many disappeared in the management transition? Something like that?? As for Bill's Instagram... their popularity was already fading/faded by the time Instagram came around. I remember the joke from the beginning that Tom will never post, and last I checked, even all these years later, I guess he's holding strong and still not posting. ha.rnrnWHAT?????!!! You think I was the one whose link you followed to discover THF?? Holy cow!! Yes, it's true I put "originally posted at THF" links on all my AO3 stories but... wow. HAHAHA. That's crazy. I guess my OCD to link that kind of stuff paid off. If it's true, I'm honored. :)rnrnI'm really blown away that you've read most of my fics. Thank you. I hope you enjoyed them despite my lacking skills. I'm still improving, but considering TH was the fandom in which I learned to write fanfic, there's a big difference over the years between how I wrote back then and how I write now.rnrnThe best author IMO who took down her fics a decade ago is username "Remy". She was not only popular, but she had the absolutely most gorgeous classic twincest, probably the best I've read, since I still remember her now. If you ever stumble on an archive or something with her works, READ THEM. And send me the link!! Classic twincest = the realistic fics of the twins growing up (usually rather young ages compared to what modern audiences would be comfortable with) and experimenting sexually/falling in love with each other, and all the complex feelings of such a unique situation, aka. First Time, Canon Compliant. The "classic twincest" genre defined this fandom. It's like starcrossed lovers and you can't help but feel the heartbreak, even if they're just silly teenagers. I'm a firm believer that TH never would have been popular without the twins being twins, and their opposites-but-actually-together-forever dynamic. It's something you feel almost immediately upon encountering them, as I'm sure you know.rnrnAnyway, all the other various fanfic genres came later. But stories like "Formative" and "Catharsis" were around even before THF started. These days the genres have expanded so far beyond the originals that for my taste, I don't think I'd read anything written after 2012-ish.rnrnSorry, I haven't looked at your Favorites List. But if I do look, I'll be able to tell your style instantly, no need to explain. :)rnrnThanks for the lengthy reply. It's nice to get to know you, and I hope you're feeling a little less stressed at your job now that TH is in your life. I would also say good luck as an Alien, but our fandom didn't even have a name back then, so it's super weird for me to say that rather than just "TH fan", haha. rnrn

This is very interesting... I can honestly say I've never read something like this. You got me intrigued, great work.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you for the kind review. I'm so happy u liked it. :) If you've never read anything like this it makes me wonder if you've just not read much twincest, or if you're referring to the fact that the twins feel a bit differently about each other in this fic, even though they love each other deeply? Thanks again. :)

This was really good! I'm kinda sad about the fact that they didn't go all the way but this was still perfectly awesome!! :D

Author's Response: Thank you so much. Means a lot to hear that. :) As for them going all the way-- I imagine that at some point in this universe that would/will happen.

this was a good story!!
i wish could do a sequel to this!

Author's Response: Thank you! :) I'm very glad you enjoyed it. Unfortunately I have no plans for a sequel to this fic, I wouldn't even know where to continue from here. :(

nice :) they had so hot session and got even closer to each other

Author's Response: Thank you for the praise. :) While yes, the twins have been getting closer, I hope you saw it wasn't fully satisfying. :(

oh bill. forgotten? ha!

Author's Response: Yeah, well, you're obv right. lol. But Part2 was supposed to be an epilogue, so our poor Bill wanted closure. lol.

Love it!! Loved the end notes. Lol

Author's Response: Oh boy, lol. Thank you. Yeah, I was so pissed when I posted Part2... angry that I'd wasted so much time writing this whole fic. lol. Just posted Part3 btw. Enjoy! :)

Thought this was a one off so really happy to see a second chapter.

Author's Response: Haha, thank you. I'm glad it's welcome. I just got around to posting the 3rd/last part btw. :)

You should not be apologizing at all. I am very very fond of pwp/lemon fics. You don't have to worry about leaving it open or explaining things because its all about the sex lol WOW, those panties on Bill! How very sexy:) I loved your descriptions of his body - he's so shaved and smooth. Exactly how I imagine. And how he just stands there in shock as Tom takes his clothes off. This was really fucking hot and I loved it! Thanks for posting! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this amazing and sweet review. I'm so glad you liked it. I love imagining that Bill looks like that too, and putting him in panties is one of my fav things! lol. Can u imagine pretty!Bill in a tiny lil tshirt that shows off that famous star and a little red thong?? HAHA, I kill myself w my own fics. ..I'm still not a fan of this macho phase he's in right now.. I (personally) preferred when he was smooth and petite and pretty... but anyway, ppl change. But they don't have to fanfic! HA! jk. ...I have to say that I tried really hard to leave this as a smutty one-shot, it and end it this way (I liked it that way too).. but then more of this fic came to me after I posted. I've been catching up on review-replies and adding PDF's to my website (just in case anyone has ever wanted to download my fanfics, lol) for the last IDK how long now, and finally I think I can post the next part of this fic. I hope that by continuing it, it won't ruin what u thought of the first part. Thanks again. :)